He allowed me to reach the schoolyard before confronting me. Truth be told, I was thankful he hadn’t before. The two minutes it had taken me to reach the tree I was currently leaning a hand on had been enough to get my wits back together.
“It’s not good to bottle it up all the time, you know.” And there was his unnerving trust-me-I-know-what-I’m-saying tone again.
I shot him a glare but kept quiet, not trusting my voice to come out normal, fearing it’d crack –the tears had deserted me but the lump oppressing my throat had not.
“Do you ever talk about it?” I was surprised to note that his eyes weren’t probing mine for answers and his voice only held concern.
“What’s there to talk about?” my voice had not come out as strong as I’d have wanted it to, but it had not cracked, and that was all that mattered to me at the moment.
“The rogues, Cole,” he shrugged nonchalantly, his posture deceivingly relaxed, “anything else that might bother you.”
My whole body trembled. I could not help it and it infuriated me.
Nobody talked to me about those two subjects. They knew it was taboo to me. I might wake up screaming in the middle of the night and cry myself to sleep afterwards but I never breathed a word about it. That was just the way things were –and I liked it that way.
“Shut up!” I shouted, no longer caring if someone were to see us. Nothing mattered at that moment as long as he just stopped talking.
“Why? You’re afraid to lose control, aren’t you?” He insisted, unfazed by my obvious annoyance.
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I repeated angrily while he carried on, “You’re so afraid to lose control, you don’t even realize you’re like a ticking bomb already.”
I was so frustrated at not being able to retort or even express myself correctly, tears had started to flow down my cheeks... and I hated myself for that, and it only added fuel to my already flaming anger.
“Just shut up already!” I shouted yet again just as a nearby breaking roar was heard.
I blinked numbly, looking at him through narrowed eyes, wondering what the hell had happened, getting no response from him. And then I realized I was no longer leaning against the tree. When had I moved it? A quick look to the right told me all I wanted to know.
I had lost control.
I had let his words get to me. I had let my emotions get the better of me. I had let my ability bring about destruction without my wanting to. I had simply failed to remain in control like the green witch I was. The feeling of helplessness washed over me, quickly followed by self-loathing. I was not even mated to the guy and yet I was affected by his every word.
“As I said it’s not good to bottle it up,” he sighed, giving me a small smile before offering me his hand, and I just cocked my head to the side in silent question.
“People are approaching, we should leave.”
His flat response had me following him to his car. It wasn’t like I could explain what had happened. If I had beaten him to a pulp, I could have said he had made me so angry I had lost it. Explaining how the upper half of a tree laid in small broken bits was not the easiest task there was... I was not that great a liar.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I heard him speak on the phone as he drove us through the city, “I’m gonna need you to send an eraser to the high school.”
An eraser, huh? I mentally sighed in relief, halfheartedly mad at myself for not having thought about it myself.
In such situations, that was the only option. An eraser was a vampire whose job was to make people forget they had seen something paranormal. It sure was useful. If only I, too, could forget a few things.
No, how could you ever want to forget? You’re better off knowing what the real world is like, my stubborn side scolded me for my vulnerability. I had vowed to myself I’d never show weakness and I had promised Karl he’d never have to bid me farewell... After today’s events, it all seemed like the empty words of a child living in an adults’ world.
Chapter 24
Distraction Time
The ride had been pleasantly silent. I had been in no mood to talk about my outburst and Jonathan had – thank god – chosen to let me be. When he finally parked the car after who knows how long, I realized we were at the woods.
How typical! Werewolves and their forests, I mentally snickered but felt grateful really. I liked nature, it represented all which I was not at the moment, a still and contained force –it calmed me.
It also made me contemplate all that had happened.
He grabbed a blanket out of the backseat and the Chinese take-out he had bought on the way here and then laid it on the grass. He cocked his head to the side in a silent invitation, not breaking the comfortable silence, and I obliged.
It all felt absurdly domestic, but I had to admit I liked it.
OK, I did more than just like it, I truly appreciated it. I was, truth be told, plainly grateful.
“Thank you,” I muttered as I ate a forkful of the deliciously spicy noodles.
“Why, you’re most welcome milady,” his playful words made me giggle. His blue gaze was soft as it settled on me and it made me warm inside. I tried not to acknowledge it –the chemistry sizzling between us, that is.
“Why do you have a blanket in the car?” I tried to shake those last disturbing thoughts.
“Jealous, sweetie?”
