“Hi,” was the weak response he got as I stubbornly – and truth be told, cowardly – avoided his questioning gaze.
“How are you?” though he had yet to invade my personal space, his nearness was almost overwhelming.
Scratch that, I mentally corrected, as it is, his mere presence is enough to disturb my peace of my mind.
But then again, my mind hadn’t really been at peace to begin with. I had been thinking about him, about the mess that was our ‘relationship’ and whatnots. His showing up was not helping, not in the least bit.
“I gotta go to class,” the hold I had on my things tightened a little bit, my gaze darted to the empty hallway before I scurried away, making my escape... or not, for I could hear him following me.
Space. I freaking need space, I mentally bit out but refrained from lashing out at him in reality.
On a second thought, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all –having to face him, that is. I needed to stop running away from my problems and start facing them.
Easier said than done, I mentally snorted. My thoughts, that were spinning out of control, clashing then fading away as quickly as they appeared, were nothing short of an indescribable mess.
“You seem troubled,” he observed from behind me, seemingly courteous enough to let me enjoy the little advance I had on him.
I could almost taste a little bit of worry tainting his words and I had to bite the inside of my cheek in order to stop my bitter, fiercely independent I-don’t-need-you-to-concern-yourself-with-me retort.
“I’m fine,” I was being purposely dismissive, hoping to put an end to the conversation.
“Are you sure?”
Damn is he insistent! My muscles were getting tenser and tenser and the urge to snap at him grew stronger.
“Yes,” I hissed through my greeted teeth, practically jogging through the hallway, wishing I would soon be entering the classroom.
“I’m not buying it,” he replied tautly, “Why must you rebuff me all the time?”
I kept my lips zipped, trying to maintain some sort of composure and not give in to the temptation a snappy scornful retort presented.
My chest heaved with a silent sigh of relief as I finally reached my destination. The classroom was no longer a word synonym of boredom or studies. Just then, I almost pictured it as my sanctuary, my way of salvation for, surely, once inside, he couldn’t carry on like this.
Without a second thought, I turned the knob and walked in, affecting a calm, much slower pace when there was nothing more I wanted to do than run straight to my desk.
I had to free myself from his unnervingly disturbing presence if I ever wanted to have a chance at linear thoughts... but that wasn’t happening anytime soon, was it? He had after all transferred to all of my classes.
I nodded, giving the teacher a pale apologetic smile as he finished his scolding and then made a beeline to my desk where Jonathan, of course, followed me since he occupied the desk right next to mine.
This is going to be long day, I silently sighed.
Chapter 23
Ticking Bomb
And it had been a long day all right.
All through our morning classes, Jonathan’s gaze had not left me at all, and it had both unnerved and excited me. And, naturally, the excitement part of my body response made me angry at myself, and that in turn made me even more unsatisfied at having him by my side as I walked into the cafeteria.
“Will you cut it out already?” I sighed, giving him a sideways glare.
“I didn’t do anything.”
The flat way he said that made him almost sound clueless as to what was unnerving me at the moment. “You’re just following me around like a lovesick puppy. Other than that, you didn’t do anything,” I rolled my eyes as I got in line to get lunch.
“Mates are impossibly attracted to one another but they don’t fall in love at first sight, you know,” he drawled, his serious tone making me turn my head to look at him, “You can’t love someone you don’t know.”
“And your point is?” I obviously knew what he was getting at, but I played dumb for I wanted to get it all in the open.
After using Tim and feeling awful about it, I was no longer so interested in playing jealousy-slash-taunting games with him to drive him away. And after the hauntingly vivid nightmares that left me raw, all I wanted was to get it over with once and for all. I simply did not enjoy mingling with werewolves.
“Don’t reject me before you even get to know me,” his strikingly blue eyes were holding mine captive, the intensity of his stare making it hard to focus, to breathe even.
I ripped my eyes away seconds later, all too happy to get air into my lungs at the proper flow again, “I don’t want to fall in love with you.” I shrugged nonchalantly. The truth seemed to unsettle him as he visibly stiffened. “I don’t want to be tied to you by some stupid mate bond.”
There, all out.
“Is it really that you don’t want to?” He paused, his hand reaching out to my cheek before I could dodge it, turning my face so I would look at him, “aren’t you simply scared?”
My eyes widened at that and lots of unwanted memories bombarded my mind. Before I knew it, a lump had formed in my throat and tears were about to spill.
I cannot show weakness. Not here, not in front of an audience, and not in front of him. That was my sole thought as I abandoned the tray on the counter and left at an unhurried pace, my head slightly bowed so my bangs covered my eyes. Hopefully, no one saw the glimmer of tears in my eyes.
Damn him and his old, know-it-all
