‘Let’s hope she does,’ I sighed.
“I’ve told you everything I wanted you to know,” Karl brought me out of my musings then nodded my way in a goodbye-like gesture. “Good luck,” were the last words he addressed me before he left the kitchen and the pack house altogether.
“I’m sure gonna need it,” I muttered bitterly.
Chapter 21
Car Ride
I had woken up just in time to put on the first thing that came my way, grab my backpack from where it sat on the floor, hurry down the stairs and then shout out I was leaving.
After that horrible nightmare, I had been comforted by Karl and then lulled into a deep dreamless sleep; and that resulted in my not hearing the alarm clock and only waking up at the sound of my phone going off – Seth had arrived to pick me up, like usual, and he was waiting for me.
Damn I hate Mondays, I mentally scowled at the prospect of having to endure school.
I entered the car, greeted him gruffly and then closed the door with more force than I intended.
“Someone’s grumpy,” he chuckled.
“Just drive,” I sighed, checking in the mirror if there were any bags under my make-up free, light blue eyes, and thankfully finding none. I sincerely hoped our ride to school would be spent in a comfortable silence.
“About yesterday,” he started reluctantly, “you shouldn’t have...”
There goes the quiet car ride, a bitter whiny voice disturbed my spinning thoughts.
“I know,” I cut in, sighing again, my gaze dropping to my lap.
“It’s just that I think that Tim deserves better than,” he paused, looking for words, “you know...”
“To be used” were the words that hung in between us, unsaid but definitely understood.
No matter how much I had tried to deny it yesterday, the way I had acted was most definitely not something I was used to. That selfish and manipulative girl from yesterday was not me. I had gone on a date with a really nice guy for the sole purpose of unnerving another... how low was that?
“I won’t lead him on any more than I did,” he turned towards me and opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it, “and I won’t drag him into my... err, issue with Jonathan anymore. I promise.”
It was mostly because of guilt and self-loathing that I decided to stop involving Tim in my complicated situation with Jonathan. He definitely deserved better.
He nodded at me, his bright green eyes filled with something that looked like pride, and then faced the road again with a small smile adorning his face.
I looked outside the closed window and couldn’t help but sigh yet another time.
“What’s bothering you?” It must have been bugging him ever since I had entered the car and he was finally giving in to the temptation of asking me.
“There’s this tiny part of me that has kept reminding me of Jonathan yesterday all through the date, the same part of me that sometimes tells me I should give it a try, see if it works – for it might actually work, you know,” I rushed out in one breath, inhaled deeply and then released the air through my nose in frustration, “But then there’s this crippling fear I feel that prevents me from giving him – us – a chance... I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Your fear of werewolves, you mean?”
“I’m not as afraid of him as a werewolf as I imagined I would be. It’s the mate side of him that frightens me more,” I cracked my fingers in pure nervousness, “In fact, I’m scared of opening up to him and becoming vulnerable, I’m scared of accepting him and giving him the power to hurt me like no one ever did before, I’m scared of losing control and ending up like Cole.” The last bit came out as nothing but a broken whisper as I felt a lump rising in my throat and my eyes tearing up.
“If you don’t try to overcome your fear, you’ll eventually regret it, until the day you die.” His hand reached out to mine and gave it a comforting squeeze.
As I blinked away the tears, I dumbly nodded in response, agreeing begrudgingly with him even though I knew it wouldn’t be as easy to come out of my shell as it sounded for I had been living in my own little bubble, contented with the way things were, for way too long.
Chapter 22
Too Soon
The hallways were as usual bubbling with life, annoyingly noisy as I left Seth, waved goodbye at him and then went straight to my locker. Needless to say, I hadn’t been approached by anybody... what, with my having Seth as my only friend, there was no wonder there.
I retrieved what I needed, slammed the door of my locker shut and then, sighing, rested my forehead against its cool metal, trying – and failing – to clear my mind a little bit.
All of a sudden, the bell rang, startling me out of my musings, making me realize that that failed attempt of mine had taken much more time than one would have thought. I straightened up and then turned around, preparing myself for some running-in-the-hallway exercise, but found my gaze caught under the spell of those mesmerizing electric blue eyes I had desperately tried but failed to hate... true, I hadn’t gotten to the point of loving them but I most definitely did not despise them as I had hoped I would.
“Good morning,” his voice was what broke the spell.
I was finally able to break the eye-contact and let my stare fall on the black dress shirt that stretched across his toned chest, and then on his dark blue jeans that were just the right seize –neither too tight nor too baggy.
The sight was pleasant, yes, but it was too soon – much too soon – for me to confront him. I had
