Everyone nods or murmurs assent.
“This course is the next step above Astral Projection. In some ways, the two are related, but instead of separating your soul and consciousness from your body, you will look deeper into yourself. You will see yourself for who you truly are, and that is a rare gift. If you can learn who you are, you can see your limits, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You can even turn your weaknesses into new strengths. Growing, developing, changing… that is what life is about. As long as you continue to adapt, you are truly living. It is when you stop bothering to better yourself that you start to die.”
I listen to her, raptured. This is what I so desperately need. Maybe once I learn who exactly I am, I’ll be able to determine what I want to do in the future, and I can figure out what profession I should pursue.
Weeks pass. My classes are starting to become harder, and it's frustrating that I no longer have a lunch break. My first year, I had three classes and then lunch, followed by my last two classes. During my second year, I had two classes then lunch and the rest. Since I'm taking six classes, I have classes all the way through without a break. It's tiring, and the extra workload isn't fun, but I'm managing. My social life isn't as active as I would like it to be, unfortunately, but what else can I do? I have to get good grades this year, and I need to figure out my future beyond which guy I want to be with.
Classes all day, homework, projects, and practice all evening long… I barely have time to eat dinner before I drop into bed, exhausted. Most nights, I’m so tired that I don’t dream at all.
Not tonight, though.
Right from the start, I know it’s a dream because Sage and I are in my parent’s house. I’m giving him a tour. Mom and Dad aren’t around. I’m not sure where they are.
Of course, he asks to see my room, and I’m shy but more than willing. We’ve been holding hands this entire time, and I squeeze his hand and try not to freak out so my palm won’t get sweaty. We’ve done this before—both in real life and in dreams.
My bed looks inviting. It's the first thing I see as soon as we enter my room. My gaze shifts to Sage to see if he's looking at it too, but his gaze is firmly fixed on me. The strangest sensation flutters in my stomach, and I smile up at him. I'm ready. I want this. At this moment, for right now, he's the one I choose.
In the back of my mind, the part of me that recognizes this is a dream realizes that I’m just choosing him now, that I’m not ready to make a decision out of here… or am I? Is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something? Because I am so happy here, with Sage’s mouth on me. While his hands are cupping my face, I’m the one reaching for his clothes, tugging them off, wanting to touch more of him, to feel his skin on mine once again.
We glide over to the bed, and I push Sage down. This is about me and picking him, and I want to be the one in control. I remove my dress. Yeah, this is definitely a dream because I never forgo a bra and panties, but I’m naked in that one move. Sage’s eyes grow wide with appreciation, and I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. Instead, I feel empowered, and I love that so much.
I line us up and sigh contently as I merge us together. This is right. This is perfect.
No.
This is wrong.
I’m not even sure why, but I back away from him, shaking my head, my mouth falling open, but no words come out. Sage comes to me, reaching out with his hands and trying to comfort me, but I shove him away.
“I can’t,” I say, the words bursting out of me even though I’m terribly confused, not even sure why I’m saying this. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Sage doesn’t say a word, but his eyes say it for him.
I’ve just broken his heart.
The scene shifts. I’m not in my room. I’m on campus, in the cottage I share with the others. In that all-knowing way of dreams, I know I’m here alone.
Alone except for Damon.
Without warning, he’s in front of me, dressed. The next second, he’s behind me and naked.
Then I’m naked too without taking off my clothes. Wait. Did I have clothes when the dream shifted to the cottage? I don’t know, but something is weird. The dream had been so fluid and natural with Sage, but now it’s disjointed and awkward. I’m having sex with Damon, but it’s jerking around, in one position and then another the next second, with no transitions, and it just doesn’t feel good, doesn’t feel right.
With a jerk, I wake up. I sit up, gasping, and jerk back, startled. There’s a dark form in my room.
A form I recognize.
The shape of my sister.
Bay.
My eyes widen, and I zoom over to her, pressing my finger into her shoulder again and again.
"You entered my mind, didn't you?" I ask, remember just in time not to shout, so I don't disturb anyone. "You infiltrated my dream!"
“It’s no big deal,” Bay says easily. “I just thought—”
“I thought that you would respect me enough to allow me the decency to let my subconscious determine my dreams. You had no right to try to influence me one way or the other!”
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” she protests. “Seriously, I didn’t. I just…” Her shoulders slump. “I didn’t think you would get this upset.”
I glower at her. “‘Wouldn’t get this upset,’” I repeat. “You know what that means, don’t you?
