“What if this happens again? What if you’re in danger again? I mean, you clearly have a knack for solving crimes. If you decide to make that your career, you could very well face danger again and again and—”
I hold up a hand. “Hold up. Did you say I put myself in danger? As if I wanted to be in danger? Are you serious? Was it terrifying? Yes, but I did what needed to be done.”
“You shouldn’t have had to do it alone. That’s all I’m saying.”
“And all I’m saying is that it’s my choice. I didn’t have time to find someone with the whole thing with Thistle. I had no reason to think he was the killer!”
“All the more reason why you need—”
“I don’t need someone to tell me what to do,” I say bitterly.
"Will you let me finish? I was just going to say that you need someone who you can trust to be with you."
“I thought I could trust Thistle.”
“He had a lot of people fooled.” Sage’s nostrils flared.
I narrow my eyes. “Are you trying to suggest that you knew better than to trust him?”
“I didn’t trust him, no,” Sage says flatly.
“Why not?” I demand, crossing my arms.
“Because.”
“Because why? Because he had a crush on me?”
“It wasn’t a crush,” Sage explodes. “I never told you this, but it used to freak me out how he would always watch you.”
“You felt threatened by him?” I ask incredulously.
“No. It wasn’t that.” Sage grits his teeth. “I was the idiot. I should’ve realized something was off and warned you, but…”
I can’t help being curious, and I try to calm down and by more reasonable versus being all raging mad. “Warned me? About Thistle? Why? Did he do something to you?”
“He threatened me,” Sage says. “I didn’t think much of it at the time, honestly. He was so thin and weak. I knew I could take him if he really wanted to fight—”
“You thought he wanted to fight you for me?”
“He called me a lot of names and told me to stay away from you. He said he could take care of you, protect you. Honestly, I thought he was high or drunk, maybe both and definitely crazy. I mean, Rosemary, he did fairy dust. He wasn’t a good fairy. He never was. I know you try to see the best in everyone, but he wasn’t a good person. He just wasn’t.”
“He could’ve been better,” I argue.
“How so?”
“Maybe if…” I bite my lower lip.
“Stop. Don’t. What he did isn’t on you.”
“Yes, it is! If I… I can’t help but think that maybe if I just went out with him once or twice, if I could’ve made him realize we weren’t a good fit, that he would have been better mentally, you know?”
“His actions are on him, not you,” Sage says.
“I know, but he… I don’t think anyone ever gave him a chance, Sage. If no one expects good things from you, a lot of people won’t bother. What’s the point? He could have done something with his life. I’m sure of it.”
“He is going to do something with his life. He’s going to sit behind bars in Dark Fae Penitentiary.”
I wince. “All he wanted was to be loved.”
“He didn’t love you. He was obsessed with you. There’s a difference.”
“I’m not worthy of being an obsession,” I mumble.
“Rosemary, don’t blame yourself.”
“I didn’t see him for who he truly was until it was almost too late, and I want to make sure that doesn’t happen to Bay too.”
Sage says nothing.
“If you’re thinking that she should be on her own because she’s made past mistakes…”
“I don’t think that,” he says slowly. “I just think it might be best if you let me do this alone. I’ll look into Zoth for you. That way, Bay can’t be upset with you.”
“Why would she be upset with me?”
He just looks at me.
I rub my forehead in frustration. “Seriously, Sage, just stop. Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Trying to come up with reasons for me to let you do all of it yourself. I should’ve known better than to ask you. You hate everything about demons.”
Her eyes flash, and he looks wounded. “I don’t hate—”
“You do. You hate Damon, and I get it to some extent at least. It’s my fault. You two might actually be friends if it weren’t for me, and I’m sorry about that. I just… I don’t know if I can trust you to be objective with Zoth. Maybe I’m just being overly worried and cautious for Bay. It’s possible Zoth does love her, and I’m ridiculous for worrying. I don’t know if I can believe that you’ll be honest about that.”
“If you can’t trust me, well, that explains a lot right there, doesn’t it.” Sage shakes his head and flies off.
I stare at his retreating form. It’s not until he dips out of the sight that I realize I’ve squeezed my fingers into such a tight fist that the rest of the honey cake has been smashed almost to nothing.
Nothing. That’s basically how I feel. I ruined everything and all because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and just accept any kind of help. Is it that big of a deal that he wants to protect me? After all, my entire reasoning for asking him for help in the first place had been to help protect Bay.
All I ever do is make mistakes. Time and again, I fail.
Knowing my luck, it won’t be long before I fail again.
Chapter 12
At this point, I'm not sure it's worthwhile to head to class. I'm really late, and besides, Damon's approaching. There's hardly anyone else around because everyone else is either eating or in class. At least we won't have an audience for this talk. Maybe I should beg off and run away and be by myself. I'm afraid I'll damage things between us just like I did with Sage and me.
I hover in place and give a one-shoulder shrug
