And that is when I see a tiny form bobbing in the rushing water. This part of the stream is wider than down below, the current much stronger. A boy, a young one, is flying within the water, the current carrying him along and dunking him beneath the waves.
I do not hesitate. Into the waters I plunge. The water is colder than I anticipated, but that does not make me hesitate. Onward, I go, forcing my legs to step, step, step. My foot slides on a slippery rock, and I nearly fall. The water is deeper than I thought, and I glide into the water, not quite diving, it’s not that deep, and I do my best to try to catch up to him, to grab him. His arms are flailing up ahead of me, and then his movements start to slow, and he begins to sink.
Down into the water I go, and I snatch him. Up to the surface I zoom, wishing I could fly, but the water has only made the vine knots tighter to the point of being painful, whereas, before my submersion, the vine might not have held back my wings tightly enough.
Onto the bank we go, and I lay him out. A woman and a few others thank me as they shove me aside and tend to the boy. They breathe into his mouth and pinch his nose. Another pushes on the boy’s chest hard enough that I flinch.
Soon, it becomes all too clear that the boy won’t ever open his eyes again. He won’t ever take another breath, and he’ll never have the chance to learn how to properly swim.
He’s drowned.
Honestly, I feel like I am drowning too.
Chapter 16
Two days. That's how long I hide away, pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist. I avoid people at all costs, and I eat whatever nature provides, including a bird that just flies out of the sky and lands dead at my feet.
My life is a mess, in shambles, falling apart, and more than that, I feel as if I am back to not knowing who I am. I fought so hard and long to learn who I am. I don’t want to merely be my parents’ daughter or Bay’s twin. I want to be someone of note because of my own merits.
What do I want to be known for? That I still do not know.
Pain. I’ve caused so many people pain, and I hate myself. I do, yes, I really do. There’s no worse feeling than looking inwardly at your past mistakes, forcing yourself to see yourself through a true lens instead of a filter, and realizing you don’t like the person you are inside.
I hate myself.
How can anyone want to be friends with such a selfish person? How can it be that the boys have hung around me so long?
Looks. That must be wise, and looks will only get you so far.
They don’t love me. Not truly. Whatever is going on between the three of us, it isn’t love. It’s toxic, and it’s wrong. I’m wrong.
I used to think that loving a person meant that the very best of me would come shining forth, that the days would seem happier, the sun brighter. Fire and brimstone, if this is love, then I want no part of it because I am in complete and utter misery.
The thought of losing either of them terrifies me, but the past few days have allowed me to realize what I must do.
I have to let them go.
Both of them.
If it’s love, it will happen. If not… Well, if not, then I will need to move on. The sooner, the better.
As for Bay and Zoth… I do not know love. How can I judge their relationship if I am not willing to even consider that they might love each other? Their love might not be like the love between two fairies. Maybe a demon truly can find love.
Honestly, I don't even feel as if I am myself at all as I fly back over the gates of Light Fae Academy. Despite the daze I'm in, I notice an increased number of security guards flying about. One flies up to me.
Bracken.
“Rosemary.”
“Yes?” I glance around. “Is something wrong?”
“You might want to return to your cottage immediately.”
“Why?” I ask. My stomach twists with dread. “Did something happen?”
He opens and shuts his mouth.
His hesitation only serves to increase my anxiety. “Bracken, tell me. Please.”
“Just listen to me and go to your cottage.”
His tone, his words, his features… He’s worried about something, and it takes a lot for him to be worried.
My heart pounds as I nod and start to fly toward my cottage. My flight isn’t the swiftest, and I can’t help but notice that most everyone is in their cottages. How do I know that? Because of all of the faces in the windows. So many people are looking at me.
One girl’s scowl is clearly visible. When I make eye contact, her scowl deepens.
At first, I brush it off. I don’t even know who she is. But then I notice other students are glaring at me. There’s no doubt that their mean, spiteful expressions are geared toward me. My stomach is in so many knots that I think I’m going to be sick.
Yes, Bay told me that the fairies on campus thought that I was dark, but seeing this is proof.
Even though it feels as if I have the weight of the world on my back, I zoom along, flying as fast as I can to my cottage. The windows are all shut, the door locked, and I have to knock to be let in. I never bother to bring a key with me.
Dahlia’s the one to open the door, and the look of sheer compassion on her face has tears streaming down my face. I fall into her arms, and she just holds me, murmuring it’ll be all right, that I don’t need to worry, that they’ll
