‘Dunno. For a minute you reminded me of… domestic bliss. My mother used to get up very early in the morning to cook.’ He reached out a hand and squeezed my forearm, letting out a hearty laugh. ‘Not that you remind me of her, God forbid!’
‘No, God forbid,’ I echoed.
‘I miss her so much.’
‘When… did you lose her?’
Again he laughed. ‘Mary O’Hara is very much alive but would die laughing if she heard you…’
‘Oh. Sorry.’
‘Your face, Nina! It’s… awh… incredibly expressive. I wish you could see it.’ He lowered his head. ‘I wish Jess could see it – see all of you. You are all so lovely. A true family. She loves you guys so much.’
I stopped and passed him a plate of cookies. ‘We love her too – how could we not?’ He stuffed one into his mouth and ran a hand through his thick hair, and suddenly, and completely out of the blue, I wanted to follow his hand with my own.
He shrugged. ‘I’m a worrier, in truth. I have nightmares about Jessica being home alone, and the house catching fire. She wanders through the house, looking for an exit and in my dream I know she’s not going to make it…’
I nodded, my heart suddenly pounding for no reason at all. What the heck was happening to me? Was I, in the end, and at my age, becoming a fan girl? I shook my head clear to follow our conversation. ‘I have dreams like that about Ben, only he’s down on the beach and the tide is rushing in and he can’t get to higher ground quick enough.’
We stopped, a sudden silence invading the room. A silence where all our communal fears gathered and nestled within the deepest part of our hearts. He looked at me, and we both sensed something had shifted, somewhere in the universe.
23
La La Land
That afternoon Luke and I decided to go for a walk over to Mullion Cove. Ben was at Jack’s, and the girls were finally at Chanel’s. I was glad that Chloe had decided she wasn’t too high and mighty to share her celebrity friend.
‘This is such an inspiring landscape,’ Luke said.
I nodded. ‘Yes, some of my best work was born while dreaming of these cliffs. As a matter of fact, most of the classics that were set in Cornwall were because the author had spent some time here and couldn’t bear to leave. I couldn’t bear to leave it myself, even if—’
‘Nina?’
‘What?’
‘Shush a minute. I’m inspired.’
‘Oh. Did you just have a brainstorm? Good, because we need one like—’
And then he took me by the shoulders. ‘Are you going to shut up a minute and let me kiss you or not?’
I stared at him. ‘You want to kiss me…?’
‘Ah, Nina, you don’t know how much…’
I supposed asking him why that was would’ve ruined the moment, so I shut up and watched him watch me, his eyes twinkling, his lips nearing mine, and my heart began to beat a soft tattoo that I’d long forgotten.
‘Brace yourself,’ he murmured against my mouth, his voice so low I could barely hear him. But I felt his words inside me, like a vibration. ‘I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.’
And then his lips touched mine in the tenderest of kisses. He was so sexy, yet delicate.
‘How was that?’ I asked and he rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t know yet. Give me another one.’
I closed my eyes and let him kiss me again. It felt exactly like the naughty moment with Kevin Nealson in third grade, when he asked to see my knickers. Only more delicious. I hadn’t felt like this in so many years that it was almost new to me all over again. The awakening, the shivers, the excitement. Could I bear it when, very probably, a disappointment would ensue? Was I strong enough to let myself go again… and suffer the consequences if it didn’t go well? How could it go well? I was a single mum from a Cornish village the size of a big family, and he was the Hollywood dream personified. Where was the common ground?
‘Nina – you drive me crazy…’ he murmured against my ear.
‘So do you,’ was all I could say.
‘I think I’m falling in love with you, you know?’
I giggled. I didn’t mean to, but it just happened.
‘Is it so difficult to believe that love can blossom out of an ordinary encounter?’
‘Love? Luke, we’ve only just met…’
‘So?’
‘But… you’re a Hollywood star. I’m a writer from Cornwall with writer’s block, to boot.’
‘Nina, I know you weren’t exactly crazy about me when we met. But I’m hoping that you may have grown fond of me lately?’
‘You know that I am not totally indifferent to your charm.’
‘That’s a good start,’ he whispered, his lips barely touching my jawline now, sending shivers up into my hair. Okay, maybe I had underestimated the situation. Maybe I would have to learn to rein in my emotions.
‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘Nothing. I just wasn’t, well, prepared for this.’
At that, he threw his head back and laughed. ‘Prepared? Oh, Nina, you are a character and a half. You don’t prepare for these things. You just let them happen.’
‘I’m not… used to this stuff anymore,’ I confessed. ‘I don’t know how to act.’
‘Don’t act. Just close your eyes and tell me what you are feeling.’
I swallowed and nodded. ‘Excitement.’
‘Me, too.’
‘And… fear.’
‘Of me?’
‘No.’
‘Of what, then?’
‘Of myself. Of how I’ll feel when this all ends.’
‘It doesn’t have to end, Nina. I’m very fond of you. This has never – and I mean never – happened to me before.’
‘No?’
‘I meet a thousand people a day. But none of them has ever had the effect that you have on me, Nina…’
I nodded, because I understood. ‘I too, feel overwhelmed.’
I felt him smile. ‘Me, too, sweetheart.’
As you can imagine, I spent the rest of the drive home in a complete daze. Had that really happened, or had I just dreamed
