She stopped. ‘You’ve slept with him!’
An old woman checking out some candle centrepieces opposite the display table frowned at us.
‘Of course not,’ I whispered, pulling her to the next display table where some hideous frog centrepieces crouched, looking like they were ready to jump to the next table.
‘But you want to! Has he asked? Oh, my God, Nina, tell!’ she hissed.
‘I want to,’ I finally gushed. ‘But I’m so frazzled.’
She put down the centrepiece and took my elbows, her face serious. ‘Honey – whatever you do, don’t ruin this! He is so the guy for you!’
I bit my lip. ‘I really hope so, Nina.’
She wrapped her arms around me. ‘If there’s anyone that deserves the best, it’s you, love.’
‘After you, of course,’ I said loyally.
We agreed to meet later in the week for the dress. When I got home, I found the girls in the living room watching some teenage movie while fiddling with their phones as Ben sat in his armchair reading his science book. ‘Is this programme fit for Ben?’ I asked.
He shrugged. ‘Some drivel about a runaway princess. But I guess it’s a formula that works on common minds.’
Luke, who was sitting at our work table, laughed across the hallway. ‘Ben, I swear, you are a character.’
‘She’s the character,’ Ben said, nodding towards the screen. ‘I’ve never seen such a sap in all my life, waiting for her estranged mum to come home. It’s not going to happen, and that can only be a good thing.’
‘Ben, shush!’ Chloe silenced him. ‘We’re trying to watch a movie here.’
Watching Ben out of the corner of my eye as I kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket in the hall. I decided to investigate that one later in private.
‘What are you up to?’ I asked Luke as I padded over to him, still keeping my eyes on Ben who went back to his book.
‘Just writing down a series of approaches for Bill’s point of view.’
Again with Bill. There was no moving this man. He was as stubborn as a mule. I huffed. I had eventually agreed to let Bill have a voice, but on condition that he didn’t come on with any tommyrot. ‘If you’re determined to show his point of view, at least don’t make him so bloody saintly.’
‘You mean like your buddy?’
‘Who?’
He nodded towards the window. ‘Farmer Joe down the road.’
‘You know his name is Jack.’
‘Whatever. Just to make it clear, Nina. I’m not on a crusade to defend men. I just want them to get their say. Show their vulnerability as well. Just like Stella shows hers. And she has her faults.’
I bristled. ‘Of course she does. Who doesn’t?’
‘And yet, you expect everybody to take her side.’
‘Because she’s the victim!’ I said hotly.
He shook his head. ‘Men can be victims of circumstances too, you know?’ he said as he got to his feet and walked to the window overlooking the garden.
Uh-oh. Now I got it. ‘How bad… was it, if I may ask?’
He snorted. ‘It was purgatory. I was young and immature, working waiter shifts around the clock. Luckily my mom lived nearby, but she had my sick dad to deal with, and wasn’t getting any money for him, so I had to take care of her financially, while she took Jess on my night shifts. So I ended up taking Jess with me whenever I found a charitable boss. She was practically brought up in all the dinners across Iowa.’
It was then that I realised that Luke was my exact male counterpart. His Lauren was my Phil, why we had done the lion’s share of the slogging. Perhaps it was time for me to open my eyes to other people’s difficulties in raising their kids, and not just mine.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, standing next to him at the window. The kids had in the meantime migrated to the garden and Chloe was pushing both Ben and Jess on the swings, and they were all laughing as Ben incited her to push harder. Jess closed her eyes, and the look of sheer happiness on her face was one to behold.
‘I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know that you sacrificed your whole life for her.’
He shrugged, not taking his eyes off them. ‘It’s what parents do, isn’t it?’
‘Not all parents. But look at what you’ve achieved. She is such a lovely girl. You had Lauren to deal with, and I had my cross to bear. Many people in the world are dealing with the same issues as we speak, Luke. Both mums and dads.’
He turned to me and smiled a faint smile, somewhere between sad and hopeful. ‘Well, Nina, at least you and I can now speak for both sides with our movie.’
Perhaps he was right. Even men suffered for love. Look at Jack. Clarissa had made a dog’s dinner of his life. And he compensated by protecting himself from a new relationship. Different people fought back in different ways.
It was becoming clear to me now, bit by bit, that Luke didn’t actually want to deride my heroine, but put her into a different context. One where she wasn’t the only one suffering. Fair enough.
‘Whatever. How about a truce? I’m totally exhausted tonight, Nina,’ Luke said as he put his tablet down for the day. ‘Let’s go for dinner, just you and me. We can call a babysitter.’
‘Dinner?’
He grinned that sexy, open-mouthed grin at me, the one I’d seen him give Marnie Jones in the final scene of Burning Hearts as, with a flick of his head, he tells her to get on his Harley Davidson and then they drive down that hill in San Francisco.
‘Yeah, dinner. Give you a break from cooking.’
‘And you’d, uhm, entrust Jess to a babysitter?’
‘One that you picked, yes. You know I trust you completely, Nina…’
Damn, this man could make me blush with just one look. He was a time bomb, ready to destroy all the walls I’d
