We turned around to see that everyone had followed us again, and were now all lined up in rows like the church choir, the little ones in front, and Alf and the Ice Cream Ladies, Annie and Old Nellie bringing up the rear, all hands clasped to their breasts in anticipation as if their very life depended on my answer.
You’d think my fellow villagers would have some more respect for our privacy, but then again, I was reborn here and they were fiercely protective of me. Plus, they always loved a bit of drama.
‘Folks, would you mind?’ I pleaded.
Beverly studied me, almost as if to read my mind. ‘Come on, then,’ she said, shooing everyone out the door again amidst “awhs” and “just a minutes”.
When the door closed behind them with a loud echo, I turned to Luke, overwhelmed by the sudden silence, and the enormity of what was happening to us.
‘Please, Luke, forgive me, but I can’t accept your marriage proposal.’
‘Oh, thank God,’ I heard Old Nellie from behind the door. ‘I was hoping she’d finally pull her head out of her arse and see the light!’
‘Nana!’ Annie half-hissed, half-wailed, but everyone burst into a hearty laughter. Feeling my ears burning, I ignored them. ‘You’re fantastic, Luke, and Jess – you’re both practically perfect and I truly, truly love you both! And I want you in our lives. But not in the way I thought. I’m so so sorry for not being the woman you really need in your life, Luke, but it’s better this way!’
‘You call that acceptable?’ he croaked.
My heart went out to him. I would have never in my life wanted to hurt Luke. ‘I’m terrible, I know, but you just sprung this on me, and I haven’t even had the time to think about it when only yesterday we were still talking about moving to California…’
‘So then think about it, Nina. I’m offering you another chance.’
Another chance to grab at Hollywood. Who wouldn’t go for it?
But I shook my head. ‘I’m so sorry, Luke. I can’t ruin your life. Or anyone else’s…’
‘Mum! Mum!’ Chloe thundered, emerging from the church and pounding down the stone steps in a blue dress I’d never seen before. ‘You have got to come and see this!’
We exchanged glances and dashed out through the side door of the church where everyone had assembled, craning their necks, all looking at the other side of the valley, across the fields to where Crooked Hill lay. The farm he was abandoning to its own destiny.
And then I stopped, dead cold, as something rushed from my calves up my legs, settling into my stomach. Something between ice and fire. In any case, it mollified me and froze me to the spot and all I could do was stare out at Jack’s fields, unable to speak as my heart leapt into my mouth.
Alice followed my gaze and jumped. ‘Holy fuck!’
‘Nina, please!’ Father Briarley shrieked, grabbing the few hairs left on his head in desperation.
‘Yay!’ Emma cried, jumping up and down and almost tripping in her heels. ‘I knew he’d find the balls to do it!’
I could feel the tears sliding down my face as I fought to catch my breath.
‘Is he fuckin’ kiddin’ me?’ Luke wailed.
‘Holy shit!’ Ben said for the first time ever.
‘Ben, watch your language! We’re in church,’ Chloe said, much to my surprise.
‘What is it, Chloe?’ Jess asked. ‘What’s happening?’
There, in the square field, was Jack, on his tractor, ploughing, carving actual letters. I (heart) you Nina. And so I lost it. I couldn’t stop the silent tears, no matter how hard I shoved my fists into my eyes. I had to take a deep breath because the pain in my heart was so wrenching that I could barely stand. Jack really did love me after all. Jack, who had always been there for me, selfless and dependable, loved me.
Luke turned to me and his face softened. ‘Bloody hell, Nina,’ he whispered as he caressed my wet cheeks. ‘I knew I had a rival in him, and that you both had chemistry, but this? There’s just no contest. So just go to him already.’
‘What?’ I wiped my eyes with my indexes and they came away black and runny. I didn’t know I was supposed to wear waterproof mascara today.
He sighed. ‘I love you, Nina, but now I understand why I could never fully reach you. You love him too.’
Yes. I did. I loved Jack. With every part of me. I could no longer deny it.
‘I don’t want you to be unhappy, Nina.’
I wiped my eyes again and looked up at him. ‘C-can you ever forgive me, Luke?’
His face was sombre as he cupped my chin and kissed my lips for one last time. ‘Go. Go to him, that lucky sod.’
‘Ohhhh…!’ I threw my arms around him and kissed the side of his face. ‘You’re learning British expressions now? Oh, Luke!’
‘But if you ever change your mind…’
‘Oh, Luke, you’re the best! I do love you.’
‘Ah, Nina?’
I pulled away, sniffling. Had I got snot on his shirt or something?
‘Before you go, you might want to use some make-up remover or something. You got a little… stuff around…’
‘What?’ I said, as I pulled out my compact mirror.
‘Oh, my God!’ I looked like the bloody Joker. And there was lipstick all over Luke’s shirt. I dabbed at it with my sleeve and then turned around towards the fields. Jack was now ploughing another heart around his message.
Luke shook his head. ‘The bugger’s thorough, though, you gotta admit it.’
‘I love you, Luke,’ I cried, hugging him again.
He sighed. ‘I love you too, babe. But I understand it just wasn’t meant to be. Now go.’
‘Oh, my word!’ Deirdre said in the background. ‘He’s adding an arrow through his heart! Awh, the poor lad!’
Chloe turned to Jess. ‘I guess that’s the end of that, Jess. We won’t legally be related. But you and I will always be blood sisters.’
Jess squeezed her
