‘Yes, but I don’t want it to change my life that much.’
He sighed. ‘Nina – if you come with me, your life is going to change for the better. Accept it and let’s move on, okay?’
For the better? With this weight on my heart, how did I even know that?
*
At the Post Of ice for a packet of crumpets, I parked and yanked on the brakes lever so hard I almost pulled it out.
‘Evening,’ I sighed to Alf as I approached the counter.
‘Evenin’ Emma!’ he greeted me. I eyed him. He seemed all right, though.
Deirdre saw me from her ice cream parlour across the street and hurried over. ‘Hullo, pet,’ she said breathless. ‘Alf here seems to think that Jack is doing the right thing. What do you think?’
‘About what?’ I asked as I pulled some mint candies off the rack. Let him be with Emma, if he wanted. I was sick and tired of all this subterfuge.
‘About going. We all think he’s barmy. Don’t you?’
I turned around. ‘Going? Going where?’
‘To London. You didn’t know?’
I shook my head. ‘No. When’s he coming back?’
Deirdre removed her glasses. ‘Well, pet. I suppose never. He’s accepted an offer on Crooked Hill.’
I almost dropped my mints. ‘What? He can’t! His place is here! It was his great, great-grandfather’s!’
‘We think so, too, pet. But he’s not having any of it. He’s moving to London. Got a fancy engineering job there already.’
London? That was a whole world away!
‘The lad is definitely moving on with his life,’ Alf said.
‘But… but… he always said he was happy here!’ I countered. ‘That this was his place!’ And moreover, what about Emma? He was leaving her, too? Or was she going and didn’t want to tell me? Chanel would have said. How complicated relationships were. Why couldn’t we all just be honest with each other?
‘I don’t know what to tell you, Nina,’ Deirdre said, shaking her head.
*
‘Why didn’t you tell me Jack was moving to London?’ I asked Emma on speakerphone as I drove back home in a panic.
‘Because he asked me not to, Nina.’
‘What? Why? Am I so out of our circle that I’m supposed to find out he’s gone only if I go over there and ring the doorbell?’
‘Not that you would,’ she said. ‘Seeing as you’re so wrapped up in your script and your actor boyfriend.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘That you no longer have time for anyone anymore. He has totally enwrapped you in his charm, and all you can think about is that bloody script.’
‘That bloody script, as you call it, is my one chance at getting out of the mess my life is in! I can’t afford Ben’s surgery unless we make this movie. So you’ll all have to forgive me if my priority is my son!’
‘What about us?’ she said.
‘Us? You pretty much have all moved on from our friendship. You have secrets you don’t trust me with and Jack hasn’t even bothered to tell me he’s moving away.’
‘Because you don’t deserve our confidence!’ she cried. ‘You are not the same person we used to know.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? I only want you to be happy, Emma.’
She snorted as she inhaled.
‘Oh, Em! You haven’t started smoking again…?’
‘You know what, Nina? Get off my back!’
‘Em, what’s happening to you?’
‘I am sick and tired of everything, and I’m sick and tired of you!’ she shouted and I listened to her angry breathing. Was this really the end of a long friendship?
Once home, I wiped my eyes and stuffed my hands into my pockets as I marched up the road to Crooked Hill Farm.
Jack’s SUV wasn’t there, nor was there any sign he’d slept at home, as all the shutters were closed. He always opened them first thing in the morning. Was he ill? I hated to think he was inside, sprawled on the floor or in bed, unable to help himself, so I called him on my mobile. And on the third ring, he hung up. Okay. He wasn’t in the mood for any conversation. But if he had made a mistake, it was only right that I should clear the air with my friends – leaving out, of course, Jack and my little moment of weakness.
So the next morning, I baked some Peace Muffins and drove to Truro to see Emma, hoping she’d calmed down a bit. If she was working with a client, I’d wait in a café or something. On the way, I thought about Jack, and his kiss. How could he do that to his best friends, kiss me while he was seeing her?
I parked in front of Emma’s flat and was about to call her when the front door opened, and out came Jack, still throwing his shirt on. His hair was sticking out in every direction and there was a look of bed in his eyes. I sank back against the wall, my heart beating a trillion beats a second.
I made to move away, but he turned his head in my direction and did a double take and our eyes met and locked, but only for a moment, because Jack nodded briskly and went the other way, his shoulders stiff with indignity.
I could have gone up the steps and rung the bell to Emma’s flat, but suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so talkative anymore.
When I got home, Luke was tapping away at his laptop and I poured us a cup of coffee, when really what I needed was a double chamomile.
‘Hey, hon,’ Luke said, not looking up. ‘My lawyer just called. He wants you to sign a cohabitation agreement.’
‘Oh yeah, what’s that?’ I asked distractedly as I kicked my shoes off and into the hall closet, followed by my bag.
‘It’s something similar to a pre-nup, only for unmarried couples.’
I padded into the dining room and fell onto a chair, forcing myself to calm down. I’d had enough of being talked down to and pushed and pulled in every
