*
‘I am so confused,’ I confessed to Alice when she swung by the house the following afternoon. I had told her about Luke’s return and everything about Jack, holding back nothing. I needed a friend and I certainly couldn’t confide in Emma. To have someone love you was a gift. But to have two men interested was pure danger to one’s soul. What if I had made the wrong choice, and had got involved in a triangle with my two best friends? How had I even got myself into this situation?
‘Did he ever use the word “love”?’ Alice asked.
‘Yes. He told me he loved me. But how can he if he’s seeing Emma?’
Alice studied me. ‘I was talking about Luke, not Jack.’
‘Oh. Yes, of course.’
But when Jack had told me the same, albeit in a fleeting moment of passion, and even if it had caused a moment of guilt towards Emma, and panic, it had warmed me down to my very soul.
And I knew that he also loved the kids. And just then, it dawned on me that Jack always referred to them as “the kids”, whilst Luke always said “your kids”.
‘So what are you gonna do?’ she asked.
‘Nothing. Live my life. Write the script. Get Ben’s op sorted. These are the things that count most to me.’
But in truth, I was mind-blown. Never in my life had I thought I’d be in this quandary. To have no man under my roof for years, during the darkest, most difficult period of my life, and then suddenly, out of the blue, to have two paths ahead of me, albeit the one with Jack fraught with guilt? Emma would never get over it, especially as she had been hiding it from me for so long. How could she ever forgive me for technically beating her at her own game? It was something I just couldn’t do to her.
And Jack? How confused was he, if he was sleeping with her, and kissing me? He was never one to act lightly, nor was he one to throw around the word love, so I knew it had to have been the heat of the moment. What he had with Emma had been going on for quite a while now.
And Luke? He was great on so many levels. He loved my work and had opened the door to success for me.
But then again, Jack had everything that Luke lacked. He was thoughtful, kind and sexy as hell without Luke’s glamour, pretentiousness or dominating attitude. Jack was dependable, quieter than Luke and very soulful, although he could be a real pain when he wanted to as well. Once offended, he did not easily forgive. And yet, he was not for me. Because you couldn’t fall in love with two men.
Luke was the one for me, no doubt. He had opened up a whole new world to me, given me the confidence to reach for the stars, given me the chance to earn enough to not fear for my children’s future, for their education and Ben’s leg.
But to become a stranger again to Jack? I had barely survived his absence the first time. He was a take it or leave it kind of bloke. If I got back with Luke again, there was no way Jack and I could ever be real friends again. But I needed him, wanted him in our lives. And the kids adored him as well. So enough. I had given that accidental kiss way too much thought.
Yes, that was what it was, a silly moment of weakness, never to be repeated. Jack would get on with Emma and hopefully they would finally announce they were an item, and I could then put all this behind me.
After Alice left, Chloe came into the kitchen and flopped into a chair, her head in her hands.
‘Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’
‘I’m confused, Mum. Chanel still wants me to choose between her and Jessica as my best friend, but I love them both. Who do I choose?’
Terrific question. But at least she had a way out.
‘Why do you have to choose? Can’t you have them both?’
‘Jess is really cool and has taught me to be a better person, I think.’
I smiled and caressed her head, ‘You have changed, Chloe.’
‘Because I’ve seen how hard Jess has it, even of she’s being very strong about her parents. Plus she knows the kids of half the celebrities that count. Do you know that she knows Will Smith’s daughter? And then there’s Chanel, who’s like a sister to me. We’ve been together through thick and thin. When you and Dad split up, she was there to pick me up all the way. When I broke my arm, she was the one who brought me all my homework and didn’t go to the school trips or dances just to stay with me. How can I forget that?’
She had a point. Do you choose the new, passionate and exciting person who is bound to take you places and heights you’d never seen, or do you choose the stable, loving and caring one who would rather hurt themselves than you?
Chloe’s Chanel was my Jack, steadfast and true, whilst her Jessica was my Luke, new and exciting. But in friendship, you were permitted to have more than one person. In love, not quite so.
‘I say talk to her, and tell her that you can’t choose because you love them both. If she loves you as much as I think she does, she’ll accept it.’
‘At least you’ve got it right,’ Chloe said.
‘What do you mean, sweetie?’
‘Well, at first, I thought there was hope for you and Dad,’ she admitted. ‘But then I met Tracy, who is not exactly Einstein, but she loves him and she makes him laugh. You and Dad never used to laugh together, he said.’
We used to, before the kids were born, but I wasn’t going to put the blame on them. It wasn’t their fault if I had grown
