‘Sweetie, your father and I… we were too young when we got married. And after we had you and Ben, we continued to grow, each in our own way. And in opposite directions. Do you understand?’
Chloe nodded. ‘I do now. Like I’ve grown out of Simon. Now I can see what a toss— uhm, jerk he is. Mum, all these years I’ve blamed you for the end of the marriage because Dad kept saying all sorts of bad things about you, like you didn’t care about us. But I see every day that you do, much more than he ever has. You are the one who talks to us about our future, who cheers us up when we’re down, and who tells us to not chew with our mouths open and to brush our teeth. Not Dad. You should see the pigsty his flat is, Mum. He doesn’t care about himself, let alone us. I now see that you were meant to be happy with someone else.’
‘And who might that be?’ I asked cautiously.
She rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, Mum, even the flagstones know the answer to that question.’
*
Dinner had been delicious that evening. Chanel was downstairs with Chloe and Ben and Jess, all watching TV. It had been a gloriously sunny day and they were now exhausted and as the sun had gone down I’d fed them dinner on trays and wrapped a soft throw over their legs, and scattered it with mini Cadburys. I loved to spoil them when I could. And the look on Chanel’s face as I patted her shoulder was priceless.
As I was doing the washing up and pondering on having a chat with Emma – provided I could do the entire Avoiding The Pink Elephant In The Room thing – she rang me instead.
‘Hi, it’s me.’
‘Hey, Me,’ I chimed as I scrubbed the sticky bits off my oven dish.
‘Listen, Nina, I have a huge favour to ask you.’
‘Shoot,’ I said.
‘I’m going to be busy… tonight.’
I’d been right about Jack after all. It had been only a moment’s madness. Everything was once again how it should be. ‘That’s great, Emma.’
‘Would you mind terribly keeping Chanel with you? I’ll come and pick her up in the morning. Tell her I had to go away for business or something.’
‘Sure, no problem. Good luck with—’ I bit my lip.
‘Thanks. But I might not need it this time.’ She laughed.
Of course not. She had every right to search for happiness in a new man.
I hung up and went back to my dishes, but I dropped one on the flagstone floor and it shattered to bits. I knelt down to pick up the pieces, silently bawling my eyes out.
38
Once Upon A Time In America
‘I have news, Nina!’ Luke said the next day, swinging me off my feet as soon as he came in, happy and flushed with excitement. ‘Lauren’s given up her claim to for custody! I get to keep my daughter!’
I clutched my chest, feeling it open with joy. ‘Oh, Luke, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you! Oh, my God!’ And suddenly my eyes welled with tears. He so so deserved to keep Jessica! He lived for her, and rightfully so. Lauren could never be to her what Luke was – father, mother, friend, mentor. Luke was Jessica’s world.
I hugged him. ‘Things are finally going your way, Luke, the way it should be. Now you don’t have to worry about anything anymore. I’m so pleased, Luke!’
He held me close. ‘Thank you! And now we can think about us!’
I pulled away to look up at him.
He took my hands. ‘You have been very patient, but now it’s your turn. I want you and the kids to come live with us in California. We’ll get a new house, one that you actually like!’
I stared at him. ‘You want us to move… to California? With you and Jess?’
‘Yes, I do! We can finish the script there, sort Ben’s leg out and enrol them into their new schools.’
‘But… but… what about everything here? All our friends, the children’s friends, and Northwood Academy?’ I’d nearly killed myself to keep them there, and they loved it. How could I just let them leave it after all that?
‘But I’ve found a fantastic new school for them, you’ll see.’
He’d found a fantastic new school for my kids? There he went again, making my decisions for me. ‘But… I can’t do that to the kids. They’d miss Cornwall terribly. They’re English through and through, and adapting to a new life would destabilise them, especially at this age…’
‘Well, then why don’t we take it in stages? Why don’t you move for only, say a year? We’ll see how it goes, and if they don’t like it, you can come back.’
That was a very generous offer, despite my views on it. But where did it leave us, as a couple? He was asking me to go and live with him. I had made that mistake the first time with Phil. For my children, I needed to make the right decision this time.
‘But if we don’t like it and come back after a year, what does that mean for you and me, Luke?’
He frowned. ‘I think by then that we’d know what was what. You wouldn’t be my prisoner, Nina.’
Meaning that he wasn’t asking me to marry him, thank God. But I had to ask myself if I truly was relieved. Had I expected more from him – a true commitment – or was it wiser to just go with the flow, move lock, stock and barrel to California, and be free to come back if it all went pear-shaped? I had already made that mistake of tying myself to a man and look how that had gone.
‘What about Cornflower Cottage? And Minnie and Callie? Is there a quarantine? I couldn’t put them through that.’
His smile faded as he took my hands. ‘Nina, do you want to come with me or not? I’m offering you
