I slip into it as I look up at the stars. The tears don’t stop, they don’t ever stop, and finally, when I see the pink take over the sky, I get up and go inside, making myself a cup of coffee. Sitting on the back stoop, I watch the sky turn from a pink to a purple. I take a sip of the hot coffee and look off into the distance, seeing a figure walking my way. I just sit here, not sure my eyes are right or if I’m imagining that this is happening. He gets closer and closer, and only when he looks up and sees me does his face fill with shock.
“Emily,” he whispers. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” I say. “This is my house.”
“But …” He looks at the house. “This is my mother's house.”
“No.” I shake my head, my heart racing like a horse at the derby. “It was her house, and then I bought it from her.”
“But,” he says, and I look at him. He looks like he hasn’t slept either. He wears jeans and a T-shirt that clings to his chest. “But this is …”
I stand, hoping that my legs don’t give out on me. “But nothing. You’re trespassing,” I say and turn to walk away from him, and he calls my name again.
“Emily.” I shake my head and blink away the tears, not wanting him to see them.
“Goodbye, Ethan,” I say over my shoulder before walking into the house and locking the door behind me.
Chapter Eight
Ethan
“Goodbye, Ethan.” She says the words so softly, and all I can do is watch her walk into the house and listen as the sound of the lock echoes in the air. The last thing I expected was to find her sitting there when I decided to walk here. When I looked up and saw the redness in her eyes, I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her all the things. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was that I left. I wanted to tell her that no matter what happened, I still loved her with every single part of me. I wanted to tell her that I would talk to her at night while I looked up at the stars. I wanted to tell her that I wished she was there every single day. I wanted to tell her that with everything, the one thing I wish I could take back was leaving her.
Do I regret what I said? Yes, in some ways, I do, but it also made me the man I am today. And I’m proud of that man. I’m proud to serve my country. I look around at my childhood home and wonder why the fuck she bought this house. Why did my mother sell it to her when she always said she was going to keep it? I look at the backyard where I spent time kicking a soccer ball. The trees are so big now, and I spot the hammock. Glancing back at the house, I was thinking back to the time we lay on the grass.
“What kind of house do you want?” I was lying on my back with my hand under my head. Her head lay on my bicep.
“I don’t care.” She turned to her side. “As long as you’re there, and there is a hammock in our yard, we can be anywhere.”
She got her house without me, and she got her hammock. I wonder if Drew lives here with her. Fuck, my stomach sinks at the thought. I don’t have a right to care. I don’t have a right to question her. I lost the right when I left her behind. I walk back to Casey’s house even though my heart is pulling me to go back to Emily and get her to talk to me. At least get her to listen to my reason for leaving. I’m almost at the house when I see a horse in the distance, and I would know that horse anywhere. Just looking at her fills my heart as I see Casey riding toward me.
“There you are,” he says when he gets close enough. “Was wondering where you went.”
Approaching the horse, I reach out my hand. “Hey there, girl,” I say, and she backs away from me. “Jesus, even my horse is mad at me.”
“Your horse is the least of your issues,” Casey says, getting off the horse and handing me the reins as we walk back to his house. “Where did you go?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I don’t tell him that the nightmares still wake me up, that sometimes I wake up screaming from the pain I endured. I couldn’t sleep because I kept seeing Emily in front of me, but every time I would get close to her, she would explode in my mind. I don’t tell him anything, but I was awake most of the night.
“Took a walk and ended up back at my old house.” His eyes go wide. “Yeah, Emily was outside having coffee.”
“Shit,” Casey says. He takes his phone out and begins to type.
“Why?” I ask, and he looks up from his phone. “Why is she living there?”
“I’m not going to sugarcoat shit for you,” he says. “She didn’t do well when you left, and she talked your mother into selling her the house. She wanted to have your home ready for you when you got back.” My heart stops in my chest and then sinks to my stomach only to fly back up to my throat. “Your mother didn’t want to. At first, she just wanted to give it to her. It was going to be
