“She lived in my house.” I repeat the words again. “She lived there, waiting for me.”
“She did,” Casey says. “We told her it wasn’t a good idea. Her parents tried to force her not to do it. She …” He looks down. “She wouldn’t listen to anyone. All she kept saying was she needed to make you a home, and you would come back.”
“I’ve been gone for five years,” I say. “She’s engaged.”
“She is,” he says, looking out into the distance and then looking back at me. “She deserves to be happy.” I want to tell him that she deserves to have a home. She deserves to have it filled with love and to have all the kids she wants. She deserves it all. “I don’t want to tell you what to do.”
“But you will.” I laugh.
“But I will.” He looks down. “Dad,” he says of Billy, “he had a heart attack a couple of months ago and is resting at home. Mom is hovering over him. If you have a chance, maybe you can go visit them.”
I look down. “I don’t know,” I say. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just …”
“You fucked up, Ethan,” he says, “but the good news is, we won’t hold it against you.”
“Are you sure about that? Chelsea looked like she wanted to shoot me, and well, Jac-” I can’t say his name. “Dad and Beau were there.”
“You cut them deep,” he says. “You said hurtful things after they spent their whole life trying to make sure you didn’t find out. Was it right? I don’t know, but it’s a decision that they made, and there must have been a reason.”
“They lied.” I try to say my side, and he holds up his hand.
“I’m not the person you need to have this conversation with,” he tells me. “I don’t know why you came back or how long you are staying, but …” He looks out into the field and then looks back at me. “But you need to find peace.” He shakes his head. “If not for you, then at least for them.”
I don’t say anything when he turns and walks away from me toward his blue truck that was dropped off there. “Fuck, what was I thinking?” I ask the horse who just stares at me. “I should have stayed gone.”
I wait for the horse to talk to me, but instead, I get on her, and it feels like it was yesterday. I kick her in gear and make my way to the house that helped shape me into the man I am. I see the barn right away and notice that Quinn is on his horse right next to Keith, who just stares at me. I slow down when I get to the barn. “Hey, guys.”
“Hey,” Quinn says while Keith just stares at me. “I’m surprised she let you ride her,” he says of the horse. “She bucks off everyone but my dad.”
“Well, I guess I’m special,” I say, walking her to the stall I always used to put her in. I look around the barn and notice it’s triple the size inside now. “This place is massive.” I put her in her stall, get her some water, and then make my way over to the house. I walk up the back steps and hesitate. I’m not sure if I should knock or just walk in like I always did.
I put my hand up, and I’m about to knock when the door swings open, and I come face-to-face with Billy, who looks a little thinner than he did five years ago, but he’s still wearing the same old cowboy hat. Tears well up in his eyes when he sees me. “My boy,” he says, putting his hands on my face and pulling me to him. This man taught me everything that made me who I am. He taught me to shoot, which is why I’m the best sniper and got into the Delta Force. I was that one percent that was the best in my category. “Glad to see you home,” he says, and then I hear another voice from somewhere inside.
“What is all the fuss about?” She comes to the door, wearing her usual apron while she wipes her hands. “Oh my god,” she says when she sees me. “Is it really you?” she asks, shoving Billy away from me. “Oh my lord,” she says, tears running down her face. “I’ve prayed for this moment,” she says, grabbing my cheeks in her hands and bringing me down to her. “Every single night, I prayed to see you just one more time so I could tell you how much I love you,” she says, kissing my cheeks. I wrap my arms around her as she cries. “I can’t believe it.”
“Grandma!” I hear yelling from the house. “I think the pies are ready.”
“Oh!” She pushes away from me. “Don’t you dare think about leaving here without eating. You better go wash your hands and get your behind in that chair.” She points at the chair, and I see her glaring at me.
I look over at Billy, who wipes tears from his eyes. “I wouldn’t mess with her.”
“I’ve been to active war zones,” I let slip, and he looks at me with shock, “yet the look she just gave me is scarier.”
“You serve our country?” he asks, and I just nod. “Thank you for your service.” He comes closer to me. “Just for today, let’s not tell her, shall we?”
“Will do.” I laugh and look over at him as he just looks at me.
“God, it’s good to see your ugly mug,” he says in almost a whisper.
“It’s good to be home,” I say, nodding. “Not sure if it’s actually good. So far, it’s been far from good.”
“You left people behind without looking back. It’s not going to be easy.” He shakes his head and squeezes my shoulder. “It’s a two-way street. Just
