“You’re freaking out,” John murmured as he lifted Mathew from the bath and wrapped him into a towel.
Staring wide-eyed, Eva stood as he did, her gaze flickering from Mathew’s to John’s.
I need air.
Big blue eyes found hers, and then chubby little arms were reaching for her. Eva robotically took him into her arms, wrapped the towel tighter around his little body. He was so light and far too small and fragile to have no parents. She’d lost one, and the pain of it was crippling. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to be orphaned at such a young age. At an age where grasping the concept of death was impossible.
Steel fingers dug into her heart as she took Mathew in. He must have simply woken one day to find his parents gone. Did he still wait for them to come back to him?
“Do you have clothes for him?” Eva asked, her voice sounding far away as the three of them left the bathroom.
“Evaline?” John whispered, his hand finding hers.
The squeeze of his hand called her back to him, but her body acted on instinct, and her mind had detached and was floating somewhere above her, confused and afraid to come back.
“Clothes, John?” she answered a little firmer. “He needs clothes.”
He met her eyes before shaking his head in a very canine way. “Oh, erm… clothes. I didn’t think about that, just how grubby he was.”
“You were a little scruffy, huh,” she said, her voice singsong even as anxiety expanded into every crevice of her heart.
Mathew laughed, then clapped. His smile was bright, so much brighter than she’d seen only a few hours earlier. Already John was breathing life back into this boy, all while he took it from her.
What am I doing?
“I’ll get him one of my T-shirts,” John suggested, stepping away.
“It’ll drown him, John. Grab one of mine. They’re in the second drawer down.”
Hitching Mathew on her hip, Eva walked over to the sofa and sat down. Rubbing the towel over his head to dry his hair, she stilled when Mathew did, and he suddenly shifted. Freezing, her hands midair, Eva watched in wonder as the little boy morphed into a small bundle of white and gray fur.
A tear rolled down her face as silver-gray eyes watched her intently, before reaching up and licking the tear from her face. Laughing and crying, Eva tentatively ran a hand through his fur, her breath catching.
“Guess we don’t need the T-shirt,” John said, smiling down at her. “Are you all right?”
Looking from the wolf cub, who was curling up on her knee, and then back to John, Eva couldn’t find the words to describe what she was. She simply shook her head in answer.
John came around to her right and sat on the sofa beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “This is just temporary, you know. Bass is going to find a couple willing to take him in,” he murmured quietly.
Staring at Mathew, Eva couldn’t stop running her fingers through his fur. It was soft and thick underneath yet coarse on the outside. It was surreal and magical, and her heart had no idea what to do with the experience. It had floated off somewhere with her mind.
“Eva, look at me.” John tipped her head toward him with a finger. “You’re scaring me. I can’t decide if you want to run far, far away or not.”
She smiled as another tear escaped her eye. “He might not be staying, but you want this, John. Kids… a family.”
“Yeah, I do.” He caressed her face. “But we can have kids when you’re ready. I’m in no rush.”
She sucked in a breath, his words hitting her right in the gut. “We.” Tipping her head back, Eva blew out of her mouth as she blinked back the moisture in her eyes. “We, John. We’ve only just met…. I… I don’t know what to do with any of this.” She kept her voice low, aware of the now sleeping cub on her lap even as a storm began to build inside her. “It’s all just… a lot. This is all just a lot.”
“Evaline, you’re it for me. There will be no one else, and I know that’s hard to understand for you…. I’m trying to hold back, to not overwhelm you with everything I am.”
“I’ve got to finish my degree, John.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“I don’t know how that life fits in with this life.” Giving in to the tears desperate for freedom, Eva leaned her head on John’s shoulder. “But what terrifies me is I want to make them fit.”
Pulling her closer, John placed his hand over hers, which rested gently on Mathew’s furry body. “We’ll figure it out. I promise, Eva. Just don’t run from me.”
She laughed despite feeling lost. “There’s not much point in running. You’d soon catch me.”
His lips smiled against her forehead before he pressed a kiss there. “I’d hunt you to the ends of the earth.”
They sat in silence, their joined hands covering Mathew’s sleeping form. Eva snuggled into John’s side, his arm holding her as close as she could get, and despite being utterly overwhelmed with the mass of confliction swirling through her head, Eva had never felt more right than she did then.
Time was a fluid thing. It sped up and slowed down, dragging out your pain, or fast-forwarding your joy. It was a thing Eva had often felt slipping through her fingers, especially on the days she’d watched as her mother faded away before her eyes.
She understood how precious time was and would never again take it for granted. It was why, no matter how scared her feelings for John made her, she’d never
