That eased the ache a bit. “Of course.”
“But I only wish to have one more child.” He didn’t look at her, his expression shuddered and drawn tight.
Her brows drew together. “But what if it’s another girl?”
He shrugged. “We’ll figure that out if it comes to pass. But I won’t risk more.”
She shook her head. He wasn’t making sense. Bearing one child was as risky as having a second one and, as she’d already stated, the entire point was to have a boy. Besides, other women built like her had babies all the time. Surely, there was another reason for his wife’s devastating death. She didn’t broach the subject now. After all, he’d given her an opportunity to get married and start her own family, have her own life.
For now, this was the closest to a happily ever after she’d likely get. “I consent to the terms.” She’d figure out how to get him to move past his grief and false beliefs after they said their vows.
Sin nearly slumped forward in relief but held himself up. The truth of the matter was that he wanted Mary, desperately so. But of course, for her sake and for his, he couldn’t have her bear many children.
If he could avoid getting her pregnant all together, he would. But he felt compelled to give it one more try for the sake of the title and his duty. After that, he’d cease his physical relationship with her and focus on just being a good father and husband.
He ignored the cry of protest his body made. Impregnating her once was all the risk he could take. He shouldn’t even do that.
She tentatively slid her fingers into his. “If it makes you feel better, my mother bore two children and suffered no ill effects. I’m slightly taller than she was.”
He looked up at her, unable to hide his surprise. “You have a sibling?”
She shook her head. “Disease of the lung when he was just three.”
He made a soft sound that rumbled in his throat and echoed about the room. “You lost your entire family.” Without thought, he pulled her into his arms tucking her head under his chin. She melted into him her chest pressing to his rib cage, her softness so right against his muscles. “It’s all right,” he whispered, starting to stroke her back. “I understand.”
“We do understand each other, don’t we?” she said into his neck, her voice vibrating through him.
He leaned down and softly kissed the top of her head. “We do. I must confess that it’s one of the many reasons I accepted your proposal.”
She winced, he felt the tightening of her facial muscles. “I still can’t believe I did that.”
Squeezing her tighter for a moment, he loosened his grip and leaned back to look down into those beautiful blue eyes. “I’m glad you did.”
“Really?” she asked, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
How did he explain, without sounding weak, that it might have taken him weeks to draw the conclusions she’d forced? That grief had held him in its grip and he’d only just started to rise from its ashes. “Really.” He bent down and kissed her nose again. It was an adorable nose and he rather enjoyed giving it small kisses. “Now tell me. How did the night go with Anne?”
Mary frowned. “You were right. That is her struggle. I have to find a way to break her cycle of fear. Not sure what it is yet but I do know that until then, there is little point in fighting her feelings. She’s frightened and what she needs is support and to slowly build her own self value.”
His hand came to cup her cheek. “Thank you.” He fought the urge to kiss her again. Somehow, her work with Anne only made him want her that much more. “You’ve no idea what this means to me.”
She gave a nod, looking up at him. “If we’re successful, I will someday.”
His hand slipped from her face. That was true. And it made him cold to think about. Was it wrong to hope that she never actually became pregnant? “True.” Gently he moved her back, slipping away from the window to cross from the desk. “I’ll go see your uncle today to ask for your hand.”
“I’m sure he’ll consent,” she answered. “They’ve been on me for years to join society again.”
He quirked a brow. “You’ve been in my house for a day. He’s likely to think I’m a terrible ogre who hurt you in some fashion.”
Her eyebrows rose up as her lips pressed together. “Perhaps Anne and I should make the trip with you. Not only will they see that I am absolutely fine but then Anne can see Grace’s studio.” She picked up her tea. “Besides, you need only tell my uncle that I asked you and he’ll understand. He’s aware of Chase women’s tendencies.” She frowned, her features growing tight.
“I’d love it if you both came with and thank you for the advice.” He rubbed his chin as he considered her. This was not the first time she’d lamented her Chase heritage. “We’ll leave in two hours if that’s amenable to you?”
“Of course,” she answered, setting down her cup. “I’ll go up and begin getting Anne ready.”
“Excellent.” He watched as she headed for the door and then left, the sway of her hips dancing before his eyes long after she’d disappeared. It was very possible that he’d just entered a bargain with the devil. Because while Mary was an angel, what she did to his body was sin at its finest and he didn’t know how he was going to find the strength to resist.
The contract they’d entered required control, the very thing, when it came to her, he did not have.
Chapter Nine
Mary held the wood rail in the carriage, determined not to watch Sin’s every move. His thighs flexed as he shifted his legs, his
