Here’s my impression of what’s being offered to you in this verse: Force creates a counterforce, and this exchange goes on and on until an all-out war is in progress. Once war has begun, decimation and famine result because the land cannot produce crops. Now when you create war in your personal life, it produces a dearth of love, kindness, and joy, which leaves you and everyone around you stripped of Divine Motherhood. Lao-tzu is encouraging you to look for an alternative to force for settling disputes. If you can find no other option, then you’re encouraged to abandon any reference to yourself as winning or conquering.
Force includes any use of physical or mental abuse in which the weapons of hatred and intolerance are applied. There will always be a counterforce, and what you’ve opted to do isn’t “attuned to the Way.” This means that you’ll ultimately lose—especially when you consider that Martin Luther King, Jr., once observed that the only way to convert an enemy to a friend is through love.
Unfortunately, whenever force is used, resentment and ultimately revenge become the means for responding. If we’re thinking in war-zone terms, the killing of a large group of people designated as enemies leaves their sons and daughters growing up hating the vanquishers. Ultimately, those survivors take up weapons to exact revenge on the children of those who vanquished them. The use of force propels entire generations of people into a continuation of war. Or as Lao-tzu puts it, “Weapons often turn upon the wielder.”
Thinking in alignment with the Tao applies to any conflict you may experience. When you resort to force, then disputes with your spouse, your children, your business partners, and even your neighbors will continue to intensify. That’s because the Great Way of Tao is that of cooperation, not competition.
The all-creating Source is always providing, asking nothing in return, and coming from a place of sharing its inherent love. It knows that all are part of the 10,000 things, and they must cooperate with each other because they share the same origin. So whenever you’re in a mode that propels you in the direction of using force, you’ve lost sight of your connection to the Tao. Moreover, any collection of people (such as communities or countries) who resort to weapons to get their points across are unattuned to the Way. They’ll leave the earth and the hearts of the people uninhabitable, except to “briars and thorns.” Your choice concerning your commitment to practicing the Tao includes refusing to participate in any manner, be it mental or physical, in anything that violates your understanding of the advice offered in this powerful passage of the Tao Te Ching.
Perhaps the easiest lesson presented here is the reminder to eschew the behaviors of boastfulness and pomposity for anything achieved by force. Remember that whatever is accomplished in such a way creates a counterforce that will ultimately result in your victory turning to a defeat. If you somehow feel that you had no other choice than to use violence to protect yourself and those you love, immediately retreat to a position that doesn’t allow for bragging and self-congratulation. Vow to work on restoring a balance of love where hatred previously resided, and do all that you can to make amends for any damage that resulted from your use of force. This 30th Verse is the Way. It has also been called wu-wei, or “not forcing,” which means to take the line of least resistance in all of one’s actions, and by doing so, create more strength.
Here’s what I believe you can learn and practice from Lao-tzu’s advice in this 30th verse of the Tao Te Ching:
Eliminate verbal and/or physical force in all situations.
Examine the relationships in which you experience conflict. Make a concerted decision to use less harsh language and to completely veer away from becoming physical in the resolution of any altercation. Practice stopping thoughts of violence by shifting right in the moment to a stance of listening. Bite your tongue! Stifle yourself! Hold back any response at all for the time being.
These are great reminders to you to become attuned to the Way. Remember, any act of force will definitely produce a counterforce, so if you insist on escalating devastation, your weapons will be turned back upon you.
Refuse to participate in violent actions in any way.
Create distance between any form of violence and yourself. This includes listening to TV or radio reports or even perusing newspaper articles about the uses of force taking place all over the planet. See if you’re justifying hearing or reading about hostile activities as a need to be “fully informed.” Once you know that force is being applied anywhere in the name of subjugating others, you’ll realize that the constant repetition of that news makes you a participant in the violence. By refusing to allow such energy into your life, even as a passive observer, you keep yourself attuned to the Way.
Eventually, when enough of us are unwilling to tolerate such behavior in any form, we’ll be closer to bringing an end to the use of force on our planet. Remember that every use
