As I contemplate Lao-tzu’s counsel, he urges me to offer you encouragement to apply the spirit of the watercourse way that’s found in this 43rd verse of the Tao Te Ching:
Introduce a soft, nonaction style to your life.
Practice the way of nonaction, or performing without effort. By letting go of your inner drive to push ahead, you’ll see that you ironically do better than when you tried so hard. In your work, become more tolerant in your drive to achieve by softening your attitude and behavior. You’ll see that customers and larger opportunities are attracted to you. Why is this true? Because you’re allowing the perfect flow of the Tao, like the great gray heron lets the tide recede in order to reveal the nourishment he needs to live. Notice how your life changes as you change the way you look at it.
Practice performing without effort in other areas of your life, too. For example, some marathon runners say that they’ve learned to relax and stop pushing, letting their legs, arms, and torso simply be as their bodies begin experiencing extreme exhaustion with only a few miles to go. They report that when they shut down the mental interference and instructions, they magically cross that finish line. Soft always has its place, for it is the watercourse way . . . the way of the Tao.
Encourage desires to freely flow in your imagination.
Consider what you’ve wanted to have in this life as if it’s behind a locked door. Examine what you’ve been telling yourself about the prosperity, superb health, good luck, business success, or wonderful relationships you’ve craved—that no matter how hard you’ve tried, it’s all come to naught. Then imagine yourself flowing like water through the barrier of that locked room. Do it softly, gently, and silently in your mind. In other words, just spend some time getting used to practicing the watercourse way of the Tao.
As you allow softness to be part of the picture of your life, the hard way will soften. Begin to exercise this kind of effortlessness in all areas of your desires. According to Ralph Waldo Emerson, “It is the condition of Inspiration—marry nature, don’t use her for pleasure.” I urge you to consider this kind of marriage.
Do the Tao Now
Have a day of silence. Don’t speak aloud to anyone; instead, just observe and see if you can be in a state of softness without telling yourself or anyone else what to do. Gently consider the powerful words of Herman Melville, who once said that God’s one and only voice is silence.
44th Verse
Which means more to you,
you or your renown?
Which brings more to you,
you or what you own?
I say what you gain
is more trouble that what you lose.
Love is the fruit of sacrifice.
Wealth is the fruit of generosity.
A contented man is never disappointed.
He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril, only thus can you endure long.
Living by Knowing
When to Stop
The 44th verse tells you that changing the way you prioritize your life ensures a fruitful one. I call it the “Enough is enough” section of the Tao Te Ching. When you update your view of the most important things in your life, the world around you is going to seem very different. Lao-tzu is urging you to look into your heart and examine what is truly important.
Earlier verses of the Tao Te Ching counsel that the essential mission of your life is to go back to (or get to know) your originating Source before physical death. In other words, you don’t have to die to make the return trip! It’s not only possible, but essential, to feel your connection to the Tao while you’re still alive.
Knowing when to stop is part of the path leading you to your essential self, where the need for fame and possessions is nonexistent. You see, it’s not the things or even a desire for recognition that keeps you from a living connection to the Tao—it’s your attachment to them that gets in the way. So shift the importance you’ve placed on success or belongings, which has obscured your connectedness to the Tao. Begin to note the senselessness of demanding more, exhausting yourself in pursuit of what keeps you trapped in a vicious cycle of “striving and never arriving” or trying to find fulfillment. This verse implores you to know when to stop.
I’m sure that you can easily see people in your environment who spend their entire lives seeking more of everything—more possessions, money, recognition, awards, friends, places to go, substances, food—you name it. If you live with this same philosophy, you’ve signed up for a life of frustration and dissatisfaction because the search itself becomes your jailer. It’s easy to see then why Lao-tzu advises that what you gain is far more trouble than what you lose! When you prioritize your life, you’ll find that love and a feeling of abundance are not only what you desire, but these two principles are instantly available because you’ve changed the way you look at the world. From this new perspective, you’ll feel totally loved and wealthy in all ways.
I realize that Lao-tzu is again speaking in what seem to be paradoxical words. But he’s coming to you from the perspective of having changed the way he looked
