The beauty of the wisdom in this 44th verse is that you give away your attachment to things or ways of being, which is what I mean by knowing when to stop. If the chase is wearing out your health, stop! If the chase is wreaking havoc on your relationships, stop! If the chase is exhausting you, stop! If the chase is keeping you from enjoying your life, stop! When you know when to cease and desist, you’re protected from all of those perils, and you’ll enjoy a long and contented existence connecting with the Tao.
The following is what Lao-tzu asks me to offer you as a means for implementing this teaching:
Make your relationship to the Tao your top priority.
Prioritize your life by making this the essential and foremost responsibility you have. Your primary relationship needs to be with yourself, not your family, business, country, culture, or ethnicity. Affirm: The number one priority in my life is my relationship with my Source of being. Go there first, before any other considerations, and you’ll automatically discontinue demanding more of anything else. You’ll begin to emulate the Tao effortlessly, living heaven on earth.
Practice knowing when to stop.
Alert yourself to recognizing when it’s a good time to stop demanding, chasing, talking, walking, working, sleeping, playing, shopping, complaining, striving, and so on. By practicing cessation, you’ll move into prioritizing what’s important in your life in that moment. Is your business doing well? Let it stop growing. Is your stomach full? Quit eating right now. Do you have enough money saved? Give some of it away, without taking deductions or asking for credit for your generosity. The more you’re attached to needing and wanting and possessing, the more you lose in your relationship to the Tao. But when you know the time to stop, you say good-bye to the troubles that accrue for those who sacrifice arriving for a lifetime of striving.
Do the Tao Now
Pick an area of your life to practice releasing an attachment by deciding when to stop. For example, plan to leave ten minutes before you think you’re done in the grocery store, or refrain from buying anything that’s not on your list. At work, restrain yourself from getting another cup of coffee or writing one more personal e-mail. In a relationship, don’t say anything else in a discussion that’s going nowhere. Those are all examples of attachment to being or doing.
You can also practice detaching by giving something away. Just recently, for instance, my son surprised both of us by doing just that. I was admiring a new T-shirt he’d just purchased, and he said, “Here, Dad, you like this one so much that even though it’s my favorite, I want you to have it.” It was a simple, spontaneous letting go of an attachment, and both of us felt the wealth that is the fruit of generosity.
45th Verse
The greatest perfection seems imperfect,
and yet its use is inexhaustible.
The greatest fullness seems empty,
and yet its use is endless.
Great straightness seems twisted.
Great intelligence seems stupid.
Great eloquence seems awkward.
Great truth seems false.
Great discussion seems silent.
Activity conquers cold;
inactivity conquers heat.
Stillness and tranquility set things in order
in the universe.
Living Beyond
Superficialities
This verse subtly asks you to view the world with new eyes. Most likely you’ve been conditioned to evaluate just about everything with a cursory and fleeting glance. Here, however, Lao-tzu is asking you to stop seeing through your ego-dominated culture, and to instead begin noticing the still and tranquil invisible space within everything. When you go beyond superficialities, you become aware that what used to look imperfect, empty, awkward, or even stupid now appears perfect, full, eloquent, and intelligent.
Your previous way of thinking about the world told you that it’s full of imperfections—the people in your life should be different, politicians should be aligned with your values, the weather should be more consistent and reliable, the multitudes should be more peaceful, young people should study harder, and older people should be more tolerant. The assessments are relentlessly endless, and they’re all based on teachings that you’ve adopted. While they may seem sensible and correct, these views are simply the result of only looking at what exists on the surface. “Hold on a minute,” this verse of the Tao Te Ching seems to say, “try looking at it this way. What seems to be imperfect has perfection, and what seems empty and false has a profound spiritual truth supporting it.”
The paradox here is evident: Hunger does exist in the world as an element of the perfection of the Tao, and the desire to help those who are starving is also part of that perfection. You’re being asked not to label what you see as imperfect, stupid, or empty; rather, look for the stillness and tranquility within you that you can bring to these superficial appearances. When you refrain from engaging in judgments based solely on looks, you paradoxically become an instrument for change.
Study
