As you change the way you look at leadership, you’ll see that individuals who are willing to surrender their egos enjoy a connection to their Tao energy and become simple-hearted leaders. Their only task is to help everyone in their sphere of influence realize that they also do not know! Lao-tzu seems to smile wryly as he informs you of this wondrous paradox.
Blend in with those whom you feel compelled to supervise by trying on these new ways of thinking and being:
Be willing to proudly say to those in your charge, “I don’t know.”
This phrase is a symbol of strength rather than weakness, so use it freely. When you teach others to do the same, they’ll begin to allow their highest selves to be guided by the Great Way. Keep in mind that nature never forces anything to grow, but is silently and invisibly ever present. Do the same to the best of your ability by not forcing yourself and your ideas on anyone (with sensible precautions for those too young or too immature to take on adult responsibilities).
The simple truth is that neither we nor anyone else really know what’s ideal for ourselves or others. There’s a silent destiny always at work; there are fortunes as well as misfortunes in every life, independent of our particular opinions.
Practice keeping your life simple and uncomplicated.
Model this behavior for those you feel obliged to lead. Rather than analyzing a situation from every angle, trying to come up with the most viable solution, trust your first instinct and take the simplest and least problematic route. Don’t “pole-vault over mouse turds”— 65th Verse by the time you’ve discussed the many options available to you, the problem itself could have been long behind you had you simply disposed of those rodent droppings with a simple tissue and dumped them into the garbage! Here’s some great advice for you, as well as the leaders of countries who are often so mired in bureaucratic red tape that they become paralyzed: Keep it simple.
Do the Tao Now
In as many ways as possible, demonstrate your understanding of what Lao-tzu meant by asking leaders to be “content with an ordinary life.” Spend a day without the label of “parent,” “supervisor,” or “boss,” and put yourself on an equal footing with those who usually look to you for direction. Think of yourself as one of those you lead—in fact, pretend that you are him or her for one day. This will give you an awareness of how to put the Tao to work right away.
I’ve found that when I practice this with my children, they respond according to their own best and true nature. For example, when I simply say to my teenage daughter, “I know that you’re perfectly capable of being responsible and sensible while I’m out of town, and I love that about you,” I remove the “authoritarian parent” label and treat her the way I’d want to be treated. When this becomes the norm, it’s obvious that Lao-tzu is correct: “The simplest pattern is the clearest.”
66th Verse
Why is the sea king of a hundred streams?
Because it lies below them.
Humility gives it its power.
Therefore, those desiring a position
above others must speak humbly.
Those desiring to lead must follow.
Thus it is that when a sage stands above the people, they do not feel the heaviness of his weight;
and when he stands in front of the people,
they do not feel hurt.
The sage stays low
so the world never tires of exalting him.
He remains a servant
so the world never tires of making him its king.
Living by
Emulating the Sea
Unlike the perception of God as an old white man Who created a universe where your behavior may cause you to be sentenced to damnation for eternity, the Tao is perceived as a natural energy. The Source of life isn’t seen as a deity monitoring earthlings like a king or dictator, since it doesn’t dole out punishments or withhold rewards. Lao-tzu taught that the Tao only asks you to live in harmony with nature.
For Lao-tzu, nature’s great symbol is water, and he refers to it in many of the 81 passages. When you emulate that element, you’ll begin to see that judgment and exclusion have no place in the Tao. Be like the sea, advises Lao-tzu, and the world will never tire of exalting you. The essential message presented in this verse and in many others of the Tao Te Ching is that the ocean is king of all because it knows to stay low. All streams must ultimately flow to the sea, and in the process, it becomes a servant to all. The teachings here are clear: Be humble. Never put yourself above others or see yourself as superior to anyone. The highest power is a yielding valley. Become a servant, not a dominator.
When even the tiniest waterways are left alone, they uniquely carve out a path that leads them to the sea. And the great ocean never lords its greatness and power over the rivers and streams: It doesn’t rise above them and demand devotion, nor does it threaten them with punishment or extinction if they refuse to cooperate. The sea knows instinctively that the streams and rivers will naturally gravitate toward that which stays low.
Using this metaphor throughout the Tao Te Ching, Lao-tzu reminds
