Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock (1 Pet. 5:2–3).
Change the way you think about yourself and others as model leaders by looking to the massive life-giving sea, who’s patient,accepting, and lower than the streams that flow to it. Then imitate that water power yourself by suspending your ego and releasingthe need to lord anything over anyone. The people you’re entrusted to lead will gravitate to you and the watercourse way ofthe Tao’s natural flow.
You’re advised to learn from the way water behaves and imitate it as much as possible in your life. Here are ways to applythe wisdom of emulating the sea in your life today:
Never assume that you know what’s best.
Even if you’re older, wiser, and richer than others and have more influence and power than they do, never assume that you know what’s best for anyone. Instead, imagine yourself as the great ocean that allows and encourages the smaller streams to come to you. Stay low, speak softly, and remain humble—and let others be in control of their lives as much as is humanly possible. By seeing yourself as the all-receiving sea, you remove your ego from the picture and thus become like one of the leaders referred to in this verse of the Tao Te Ching. No one should feel the heaviness of your directions or be hurt by your instructions.
A situation that allowed me to implement this advice occurred on the day I wrote this essay. I live on Maui, and my 90-year-old mother is in Florida, where my daughter Saje also resides. My mother was experiencing a stomachache and nausea from some strong medication she’d taken, so I phoned my daughter to see if she had any suggestions for getting some yogurt to her. Saje’s immediate response was, “We have some yogurt right here—I’ll take it over to Grandma’s.” Rather than giving her an order and instructing her to tend to her grandmother, I allowed my daughter to be of service while I stayed in the lowest possible place.
Remain a servant.
See yourself as someone who’s on this planet to assist others. Look for opportunities to be of aid, particularly to those who need your leadership. Remember that the great sea serves everyone by being a life-supporting receiver of all who wish to partake of her bounty, so practice emulating her by expressing the Tao.
Do the Tao Now
Dedicate a day to leading by serving, as opposed to giving orders. Find occasions to stifle your learned habit of interfering and telling others what to do, and allow them to flow to you instead. Commit to this principle further by encouraging someone to make the decision rather than following your orders.
67th Verse
All the world talks about my Tao
with such familiarity—
what folly!
The Tao is not something found at the marketplace
or passed on from father to son.
It is not something gained by knowing
or lost by forgetting.
If the Tao were like this,
it would have been lost and forgotten long ago.
I have three treasures, which I hold fast
and watch closely.
The first is mercy.
The second is frugality.
The third is humility.
From mercy comes courage.
From frugality comes generosity.
From humility comes leadership.
Now if one were bold but had no mercy,
if one were broad but were not frugal,
if one went ahead without humility,
one would die.
Love vanquishes all attackers,
it is impregnable in defense.
When heaven wants to protect someone,
does it send an army?
No, it protects him with love.
Living by the
Three Treasures
You’re being invited to change your life by seeing it through the prism of this ancient verse of the Tao Te Ching, which instructs you on the three things you need for a Tao-styled life of success:
— Mercy is the name used here for the first treasure, but additional terms such as compassion, good-heartedness, love, kindness, and charity have been employed in other translations. You’ve very likely been weaned on a model of achievement that’s measured by accumulation, accomplishment, and the acquisition of power and influence over others. Successful people are usually considered to be narrowly focused on their own goals, oblivious to anything but getting to the top, and ruthless in preventing anyone else from getting what they’re after.
Lao-tzu, however, says that the first and most important treasure is what true courage stems from, not from a heartless and callous attitude. He even tells you that boldness without mercy is a prescription for death! So you’re encouraged to think of others first by being willing to serve and exhibit kindness and love, even toward your enemies, instead of seeking external indicators to prove that you’re successful.
Shakespeare speaks of the first treasure in The Merchant of Venice:
The quality of mercy is not strain’d,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven . . .
But mercy is above this sceptered sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings . . .
The great playwright then reminds us with his next lines why Lao-tzu made mercy the top priority of the three treasures:
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God’s
When mercy seasons justice.
Mercy, compassion, and kindness are all attributes of God and the Tao. Lao-tzu saw this truth many centuries before Shakespeare
