Government officials often vote to raise more and more money for pet projects and even their own personal benefit simply because they have the authority to do so. Since they’re in charge of lawmaking, they write rules that allow them to be abusive toward the very people who pay their salaries and provide them with all of their benefits. In virtually all cases, those who are being taxed to provide luxurious lifestyle perks receive far less in the way of benefits than those who are the recipients of that tax. In other words, the rule makers and others in power are using their positions to take advantage of ordinary people. When this becomes too prevalent, those ordinary people become restless and disruptive, with scant respect for authority. As Lao-tzu puts it “People lose their spirit.”
Rather than demanding more because you’re older, bigger, richer, or more powerful, leave those you’re in charge of alone whenever feasible, trusting in their inherent wisdom to do the right thing. Overbearing, taxing authorities create rebellion and chaos—and you’ll create the same unless you check your inclinations and reverse yourself by being less demanding instead of more.
I’ve practiced this approach to leadership my entire adult life by keeping the number of people who work for me and require my supervision to an absolute minimum. My demands on my manager/ secretary/all-purpose assistant are few and far between, and she’s been my sole employee for three decades. I allow her to negotiate contracts, to make all arrangements for speaking events, and to manage my very large business with an absence of demands from me. I don’t tell her what time to come to work, what to wear, or how to talk to people; and my reward for being a boss with minimal demands is someone who’s fiercely loyal, who can be depended on to do the right thing, who loves her job, and who is indispensable to me.
I behave the same way toward my editor, who has also been with me for 30-plus years. I write from my heart, allowing the words to flow onto the page, and then I send it to her. I trust this woman implicitly and allow her to do what she incarnated to do with no demands from me. My reward for being nonintrusive is to have my books beautifully and professionally polished. My editor and I also enjoy a loving, peaceful relationship, with both of us content and proud of the work we were destined to produce. While what I’m describing may seem impossible to you, it can absolutely be attained when you trust in the Tao to manage all of the details of both your professional and personal life.
The following is what Lao-tzu urges you to take from this 75th verse of the Tao Te Ching, which was originally intended for leaders of countries, but is applicable to everyone in a supervisory or parental role:
Don’t overtax yourself.
Lao-tzu’s reminder that excessive taxation will lead to a loss of spirit applies to you as well. If you weigh yourself down with excessive demands, you’ll wear yourself out or develop symptoms of depression, anxiety, worry, heart disease, or any number of physical ailments. Give yourself a break from self-imposed pressures that burden you, allowing yourself plenty of free time to commune with nature, play with your children, read, see a movie, or just do nothing.
Trust those you’re entrusted to lead.
Don’t continually monitor those you’re responsible for raising or supervising; instead, develop a trust in your less experienced charges. They must be allowed to use their own minds, for they also have a destiny to fulfill that’s orchestrated by the Tao. So demand less and encourage more as much as you can, allowing them to pursue their own excellence and happiness. Your trust will lead to their trusting themselves and the wisdom that created them.
Do the Tao Now
Take a break from all that occupies your mind, including your responsibilities. Even if it’s only for 15 minutes, clear your mind, empty your “demands file,” and allow yourself the freedom that comes with being less exacting.
When you complete this, do the same with your children or someone who reports to you at work. Put your arm around them and ask them to go for a brief walk, just doing nothing but being together in nature. Then let them return to their responsibilities at their own pace.
If you’re thinking that your child or employee needs an imperious overseer, perhaps they’ve become that way because you haven’t trusted them to be self-reliant.
76th Verse
A man is born gentle and weak;
at his death he is hard and stiff.
All things, including the grass and trees,
are soft and pliable in life;
dry and brittle in death.
Stiffness is thus a companion of death;
flexibility a companion of life.
An army that cannot yield
will be defeated.
A tree that cannot bend
will crack in the wind.
The hard and stiff will be broken;
the soft and supple will prevail.
Living by
Bending
The thing I love most about studying the Tao Te Ching is its impeccable adherence to finding the Great Way by closely studying nature. In this passage, Lao-tzu asks us to change the we look at the concept of strength by noticing how the most solid and durable things in the natural world tend to be soft, gentle, and even weak. If we see strength as being hard, inflexible, and unyielding, he invites us
