Some of my fondest memories of my eight children came from watching their flexible newly born bodies in awe. I could lay them on my lap and easily place their feet in their mouths or even behind their necks! They were perfect yoga masters at the tender age of only a few months or even days. When they were toddlers, I watched in amazement, often holding my breath as they bumped their heads, ran into walls without looking, and took what appeared to be nasty falls. Yet lo and behold, they’d shake it right off. What would have surely resulted in a broken hip or arm for an older person was hardly noticed by these limber youngsters.
By the same token, an older tree that’s getting close to death will become hard, brittle, and susceptible to fire and harsh winds. Since the tree can’t bend, a strong gust can blow it right over. As it ages, the wood becomes weaker simply because it’s inflexible. Its rigidity, which some think of as strength, has actually turned it into a weak organism. Similarly, at the moment of death all creatures go into rigor mortis, which is complete stiffness and, of course, a total absence of strength.
Being pliable and able to bend goes beyond the aging process that all bodies are destined to experience. Thus, Lao-tzu encourages you to apply this principle to your thought processes and behaviors. You’re reminded that rigidity and hardness accompany death, while pliability and even weakness are the companions of life. You may have been taught that strength is measured by how “hard” you are in your thinking or how inflexible you are in your opinions, and that weakness is associated with those who bend. But when confronted with any stressful situation, keep in mind that being stiff won’t get you very far, whereas being flexible will carry you through.
Change the way you think about strength, not just as it relates to those in positions of power, but for yourself as well. There’s a lot to be said for what we’re conditioned to think of as weak: Begin to see that strength is weakness, and weakness is strength . . . just another of the Tao Te Ching’s fascinating paradoxes.
Here’s what Lao-tzu urges you to consider as you apply the lessons of this oft-quoted 76th verse:
Be strong by bending.
Be willing to be like palm trees in the midst of hurricane-force winds—their so-called weakness somehow gives them the strength to survive devastating storms. The same is true for the way you relate to others, so listen more, allow your viewpoints to be challenged, and bend when necessary, knowing that you’re actually choosing strength. The more you think in rigid ways, refraining from considering other points of view, the more you’re liable to break. As Lao-tzu reminds you, “The hard and stiff will be broken,” while “the soft and supple will prevail.”
Examine your unbendable attitudes.
Scrutinize your attitudes on matters such as the death penalty, legalization of certain drugs, abortion, gun or birth control, taxation, energy conservation, and any other issues on which you hold an unshakable position. Then make an effort to walk in the shoes of 76th Verse those who have opposite opinions. When you consider the rebuttals they’d offer, you’ll see that this old proverb has some truth in it:
This is my way!
What is your way?
The way doesn’t exist.
Today, for example, I had a conversation with my daughter Serena concerning a presentation she was to make before one of hercollege classes. She was convinced that her conclusion was unbendable regarding a large retail chain’s employment policies.There was no room for discussion—they were wrong and she was right. Yet for the sake of an intelligent discussion, I tookthe position of the retail giant and tried to offer that perspective to her. As our discussion continued, my daughter foundherself bending just a bit. As she realized that every story has two sides, she found herself willing to listen to the opposition.Serena was able to bend in a way that made her strong.
If leaders on both sides of any matter were willing to at least listen to each other, conflicts wouldn’t need to escalateto life-and-death proportions. By listening, yielding, and being gentle, we all become disciples of life.
Do the Tao Now
Every day in yoga class there’s an exercise that reminds me of this verse of the Tao Te Ching, and I encourage you to practice it right now. Stand with your feet together, raise your hands above your head, and stretch as high as you possibly can. Now bend to the right as far as you can go, stretching for 60 seconds. Then return to an upright position and do the same on your left side. All the while, see yourself as flexible, supple, and able to bend in harmony with the Tao.
77th Verse
The way of heaven
is like drawing a bow:
The high is lowered,
the low is raised.
When it is surplus, it reduces;
when it is deficient, it increases.
The Tao of mankind is the opposite:
It reduces the deficiency
in order to add to the surplus.
It strips the needy to serve those who have too much.
Only the one who has the Tao
offers his surplus to others.
What man has more than enough
and gives it to the world?
Only the man of the Tao.
The master can keep giving
because there is no end to his wealth.
He acts without expectation,
succeeds without taking credit,
and does not think that he is better
than anyone else.
Living by
Offering the Surplus
If you view the ways of heaven from a distance, you’ll find that nature is perfect. The Tao is at work, invisibly keeping a
