“You don’t have to practice. You’re already perfect.” He planted another kiss on my lips, then lined himself up and fixed his gaze on mine as he thrust home. “Any baby you and I might have if we’re lucky will also be perfect.”
His hips rocked against mine with a steady pace that only ramped up my need. Lincoln felt it, though. He gave me what I needed three times before finally surrendering to his own release.
After he’d cried out my name and had twitched deep inside me, both of us collapsed like spineless eels. We lay together for a long time. I was thinking about the possible consequences of what we’d just done, and I had no doubt he was, too.
But I was at peace with it. I wanted a baby with him, and he’d made it clear he wanted the same with me. It would suck to find out I was pregnant when he was half a world away, especially considering the fears I already had.
I’d decided I wouldn’t let those rule me, though. I was planning for a long, happy life with Lincoln. I’d keep believing that would happen until life proved my beliefs wrong. Besides, we had far more pressing issues to think about.
I rolled lazily to my side, admiring the profile of the man I loved as he lay there catching his breath. His lips were slightly parted. There was a hint of a flush along the tops of his cheeks and the muscular arm which wasn’t holding me was draped over the washboard of his abs.
Once again, I was struck by how much he looked like a cover model. The guy was just insanely fucking hot.
The kicker was that as ruggedly handsome as the packaging was, what was inside was even better. All those weeks ago when I’d met him and known he was the kind of bad boy I could fall for, I wouldn’t have guessed for one second that he wasn’t bad at all.
Well, okay, maybe he had been. But he wasn’t anymore. He had a heart of gold and a soul made out of pure sunlight.
And he was all mine.
A smile curled on my lips just as Lincoln opened his eyes and frowned at me. “What are you smiling about?”
“You,” I said simply, turning my head to plant a kiss on his shoulder.
Those gorgeous, sexy dimples popped out as he returned my smile and twined his fingers around mine. “Well then smile all you want. I know I will. Every day for as long as you love me, I’ll have the best thing in the world to smile about.”
The words melted my heart into yet another puddle of girl-goo, but they also made a question worm its way through the post-orgasmic haze in my mind. “What are we going to do, Linc? It’s one thing to admit how we feel to each other, but it’s a whole different thing to make a new relationship work long distance and long term.”
Vulnerability hit me in the gut as I heard the question I had just asked. Voicing my fears and insecurities was as difficult for me as it was for anybody, but voicing them to this Adonis of a man who was now also going to be in actual command of a unit of SEALs? These guys feared nothing and no one. Confessing fear to him just seemed foolish and immature.
Lincoln didn’t laugh at me, though. Nor did he dismiss my questions for being so damn clingy when we’d only just told each other how we felt.
He tightened the grip he had on me, then dipped his head until he was looking into my eyes. Sincerity shone in his, his expression open and unguarded.
“It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll be okay. We’ll talk on video calls and on the phone as often as we can. We’ll go old school and write love letters. I don’t care what it takes, I’m all in. I love you, and you love me. Love might not be all we need, but it’s a pretty good place to start from.”
“Okay,” I said, moving my hand to his chest to feel his heart beating beneath my palm. “I just wish you didn’t have to go so soon. Why couldn’t he have given you a few months to sort everything out?”
I closed my eyes against the pain brought on by the thought that I was going to have to say goodbye to Lincoln again so soon. I didn’t know exactly when he’d be leaving, but I knew it would be within a matter of a week or two.
He squeezed my hand to get my attention. “Don’t be mad at your dad, baby. I signed up for this, and I want to do it. Your dad has made me a better man, and I’m pretty sure it’s because he knew that I was going to be your man. We will be fine. The sooner I leave, the sooner I’ll be back, right?”
“Right.” I sighed, then rested my head over his heart instead of my hand and listened to its steady beats. “Just stay safe over there, okay? Stay safe, never forget that I love you, and know that I’ll be counting down the minutes until I get to see you again.”
What the hell, right? If I couldn’t be honest, vulnerable, and clingy with him, what was the point of loving him at all?
Lincoln dropped a kiss on top of my head and then repeated my own words back to me. The best thing of all was that I could tell that he really meant them and that he was learning how to bare his soul to me in the same way I had to learn to do it with him.
But we would.
And we’d have old-school love letters to do it in.
I could live with that.
Chapter 39
Lincoln
One of the things no one told me about being in love, not that I would have believed them if they’d tried,
