“He looked at me the wrong way,” is all I can think to say without alerting him to the fact Meg managed escape on my watch. More for her sake than mine. A sinister grin grows across his wrinkled face.
“That’s my boy.” Leaning back in his leather chair, his faded tattoos catch my attention. A skyline of Sydney which has been made to mimic his heartbeat, from the opera house to harbour bridge straight across his wrinkled chest. I can’t tell if Ray was a good father, his love for his lost daughter clear but he hardly seems the type to bounce a little girl on his knee and teach her to ride a bike.
Ignoring my probing look which clearly reads ‘What the fuck am I doing here?’, Ray pulls his cell from the drawer to his right and checks a message, grunting as he types out a reply with the volume on. My teeth grind together with the tippetty tip tap of his thumbs hitting the screen. He’s purposely prolonging this meeting out, testing my patience and obedience. Finally, he puts away his cell and focuses on me, crossing his arms across his front.
“I’ve had to make a difficult decision to proceed with the next stage of my plan. You’ve done a great job so far, but it’s time for you to step away.” No. “Meg has been moved to another secure location and trust me when I say this it will be for your own good. Don’t worry though, there is another way to sate your anger. While I’m away taking care of the girls, I’ve decided to give you Nixon. Do whatever you like with him, we have a clean-up crew on standby.” I open my mouth but no words come out. I should have been jumping at the chance to be relieved from babysitter duty and to have Nixon at my mercy, but for some unknown reason, neither of those options sounds appealing anymore.
“What makes you think you can find Avery all of a sudden?” I ask, an uncomfortable twisting in my gut which I can’t explain.
“Ah, that’s the best part. I’ve already found her and I’m certain she’s on her way to Meg’s location as we speak. Those troublesome twins have been the bane of my life since I discovered they existed and will finally meet their end by tomorrow night.” His sneer fills me with dread, panic flaring to life inside me. I need to find a way to be allowed access to the girls. Ironically, I might be their only hope.
“I would like the opportunity to finish what I’ve started, see your revenge scheme through to the end.” I remain calm, taking the logical approach if there is one when having a private meeting with a notorious crime boss.
“I don’t think that is a good idea. You haven’t seemed like yourself since she arrived.” Slumping back into the velvet cushioning, I rest my chin on my clenched fist. Maybe it’s true Meg has crawled beneath my skin and taken up residence in my head, but it could also be possible Ray doesn’t know me as well as he thought. In fact, I barely know myself anymore. For years I’ve held onto the hate that’s been devouring me, striving on the idea of a perfect family which clearly doesn’t exist. Each day ending with a round of self-loathing before I close my eyes for the night. Feeling worthless, unwanted. Filling the void with ideas of punishing my parents which I never planned to actually bring to reality.
I miss how simple life came at Waversea, the things I cared about were my boys and my degree. I’ve never wanted to ride on my father’s coattails, I had ambitious plans to carve my own path in the world with the guys who bolstered me through every set back. A few months ago, I would have thought nothing could come between us, least of all me. Fuck, how could I have messed everything up like this? There’s no way to reverse the clock, bring Axel back to life and fix the bonds I’ve shattered. All I have now is Rachel, and a sense of obligation to Meg.
But what this means for me, I have no idea. If I no longer have anger guiding my actions, does that mean the lightness she fills me with is permanent? Am I a sap who’s falling for the pair of baby blues I’d never noticed before, or can this be a new start for me? Maybe if I could be good enough for her, that’ll be enough. A dam breaks in my chest, feelings gushing through me as the thin rope I was grasping onto has snapped. I’m the monster who trapped her, but I’m also the one who’s going to set her free.
“I’ve never been thinking more clearly. Let me finish this, I’ll do whatever it takes,” to save her.
Parking the sedan behind a towering building mostly made of glass, I lie my head back and tap my thumb on the wheel, despite how eager I am to race up to the penthouse suite Meg is apparently still unconscious in. Even after the convincing Ray took about letting me continue assisting in his scheme, I’m aware a Mini Cooper has been following me the entire way here. So much for blending in, the cherry red paintjob has held my attention ducking in and out between vehicles in my rear-view mirror. I’d thought about speeding away but there’s no use when Ray knows where I’m heading and I’m desperately trying to keep a cool
