“Hey, what about me?” Megs small shout barely reaches me, her fist bashing on the passenger window. I raise the key fob over my shoulder and lock the vehicle, the headlights flashing twice before going dark. The smile of my face widens as I step into the reception, if this small room with its peeling wallpaper and flickering bulb can be called that and pay for a room in cash. I don’t care about the décor, as long as my room is dust and bug free, I’ll just be happy for a quiet night to myself catching up on some dearly missed sleep. Staying under the same roof as Avery was hell, every waking and unconscious moment filled with her. Her laughter, her unbreakable spirit.
Unlocking the door, I step into the darkened room to see a shadow hunched in the corner. “Hey mom,” I drop my bag on the plastic table and leave her to scratch at the walls. Reaching into the bag’s front pocket and grabbing the backup vitamins Rachel packed for me, I glance between them and the figure in the corner before throwing them back into the bag.
It was easy enough to make the association between the small, pink pills and the hallucination of my birth mother since the last few times I took them, she disappeared instantly. And despite popular belief, I’m rational enough to know that wanting the illusion of her around is insane, but I find her presence oddly comforting. Or maybe I’m irrational enough to believe keeping her spirit with me will absolve me from killing her. Who the fuck knows anymore? I’m damned anyway.
Treating myself to a lukewarm shower, cranking the dial to as hot as it will go, I take my time blow drying my hair so it remains pushed back when I run my hand through its silky-smooth length. The double bed in the centre of the retro-wallpapered room is calling to me, but first I need to eat. Dumping the damp towel in a heap on the floor, I dress in fresh clothes and shove a wad of cash into my back pocket before heading out of the door.
There’s a man standing by the sedan, Meg is desperately trying to enlist his help by miming through the glass. I stand against a pillar for a short while, watching the display with a smirk. When the game of one-handed charades becomes too pitiful even for me, I stroll across the space and save the hillbilly with the gormless expression on his face.
“Hey man, don’t worry about her,” I gesture to Meg with my thumb. “She’s like my step-sister, sort of. You know what sibling rivalry is like.” His glazed eyes slowly pass between us, an overpowering herbal scent radiating from him. Oh, this is priceless, he’s high as shit.
“Here, take this for looking after her for me.” I remove the money from my jeans pocket, pulling a few fifties out of the stack and handing it over easily. His tattered hoodie hangs low over some old-style army pants, the sneakers on his feet more like open toed sandals due to the gaping holes within them. “If you get someone to bring me dinner, anything fried and greasy, I’ll double it for both of you. Number seven,” I point back to the door, waiting for him to compute.
“Seven,” he mumbles, his attention returning to the money in his hand as if he’s shellshocked. Not waiting for him to leave, I unlock the car and open Meg’s door, slipping inside to straddled her in the reclined seat.
“Are you going to behave or am I going to have to gag you?” I ask, her eyes lighting with the challenge in my tone. I’m sure she’s seconds from spitting at me again so I clamp my hand over her mouth, muffling her protests. Using my free hand to twist the small key in the handcuff lock, I quickly grab both of her wrists as she tries to claw as me like I anticipated and pin them over her head.
“One day soon, I’m going to destroy you. You’ll hurt more than you’ve ever known and beg me to take the pain away.” Her top lip peels back in a snarl as she says the words, the feral twist to her pale blue eyes awakening a hunger in me to let her bring her dark words to reality.
“Mmmm, talk dirty to me,” I mock biting down on my bottom lip, angering her further. She bucks and thrashes beneath me as I laugh, genuine amusement trickling through me until I drag her from the car. Shoving her into the motel room, I close the door with my back and continue to push her into the bathroom. She tries to squirm out of my grip, but I expect every move she throws my way, her wrists trapped in one of my hands and my opposite arm locked around her waist. Raising her arms above her head, I grab the loose cuff and loop it over the shower rail before quickly securing it back in place over her free wrist.
I slam the door shut between us, switching on the boxy TV and turning the volume as loud as it will go to block out most of her screams. Kicking off my sneakers and shedding my jeans, I lounge back against the headboard finally content. This time tomorrow, I’ll be back in Chicago with Rachel and a purpose. In the incredibly short time I’ve spent at Ray’s mansion, it’s become more of a home to me than the house I grew up in ever was. Because even as a child, some small part of me knew I wasn’t enough for my parents. There was always something missing, a void I couldn’t fill. But when Rachel looks at me, her whole world is centred in my eyes.
I turn the TV off as a knock sounds at the
