My face warmed. “You’ll be happy to hear that I did a pretty good job by myself. So did Edan.”
“I am happy to hear it.” He glanced at Edan. He was sitting alone on the cot, Grayson nowhere to be seen. Julian grabbed the curtain and pulled it closed, shielding us from view. He took a seat next to me, so close that our shoulders pressed together.
“Hunter’s gone. He’s packing his bags now.”
“It was an accident,” I said. I wasn’t sure why I was defending Hunter. Maybe because it was the truth.
“An accident that could have been prevented if he’d followed the rules. We only assign guns to certain recruits for this exact reason. I should have been there,” he said again, and I wondered if part of his anger at Hunter was because Julian was mad at himself too.
With Hunter gone and Dani dead, team seven was down two members. We were eleven now. I shuddered.
“You don’t have to stay with me,” I said. “I know you probably have a lot of things to take care of.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. It took him a moment to find the words.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked quietly.
Before I could answer, he took my hand, lacing our fingers together. The pain in my arm completely faded. All I could feel was his warm hand in mine, the gentle way he brushed his thumb across my skin.
“No,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.
He leaned in closer to me. “There’s this rule,” he said softly. “About us dating our team members.”
“I know.” My heart thumped frantically as he tightened his fingers around mine. His other hand landed softly on my jaw.
“But I was never very good at following rules.” He was even closer now, eyebrows lifted just slightly like he was asking a question.
The smile that I couldn’t stop was clearly my answer, and his own lips turned up before he pressed them to mine. It was a slow kiss, almost careful, like he wanted to memorize every second of it. I leaned closer when his lips barely left mine. Our second kiss was far less careful. It left me breathless, the noise around me fading away.
When he pulled away, we were both smiling.
18
The final death toll for the day was six—three from American teams, two from French teams, and one from a Canadian team. Three more recruits decided to leave after the dust settled.
The reality of actually fighting scrabs must have been too much.
Grayson gave us all a pep talk after they left, claiming that we all did an amazing job and he was proud of us.
The media saw things differently. Most of the headlines were something along the lines of ST. JOHN’S RECRUITS ATTACKED AT THEIR OWN FACILITY, CASUALTIES REPORTED. CIVILIANS ALSO INJURED OR KILLED.
It did not make us look great. Granted, we’d only had three days of training, but no one seemed to care about that.
It was evening, hours after the scrab attack. My arm was stitched up and bandaged. We’d spent the afternoon helping the French authorities load the dead scrabs into trucks for disposal and trying to clean up the complex a bit. Now I sat on my cot, watching as Priya carefully folded Dani’s clothes and tucked them into her suitcase. Grayson had asked us to pack up everything to send back to her parents.
I imagined my mom receiving my backpack in the mail. She’d probably hide it from Dad so it wouldn’t set him off. Even in death, I would be the cause of his rage.
I took in a shaky breath. I hadn’t known Dani that well, but the room felt empty now. I couldn’t stop thinking about how she smiled when she talked about her handcuffs.
Priya zipped up the suitcase and dragged it into the hallway. When she returned, Julian was behind her. He lingered in the doorway, a small smile crossing his lips when our eyes met.
“You can all have the rest of the night off,” he said, addressing everyone in the room. “I just told the guys. The team leaders are meeting with the French police tonight, and I’m not going to make you train this evening after everything. Get some rest.” He took a step back. “Clara, can I have a moment?”
“Sure.” I got to my feet and followed him out of the room.
The door closed behind me and he turned. His expression mirrored mine: a mix of hope, sadness, embarrassment, and exhaustion.
“Um, so—” he began, and then abruptly stopped as a door banged open at the end of the hall. He looked left, then right. “Let’s . . .” His voice trailed off as he walked to a door a few steps down and pulled it open. It was a closet, empty except for an ancient broom propped up against one wall. He jerked his head, indicating for me to follow him inside.
I did, and he began to close the door, but it was suddenly very dark. His laugh was a huff of embarrassment as he pushed it open a crack, letting light back in.
“Sorry,” he said. “There aren’t a lot of places to be alone here.”
“Are we . . .” I didn’t finish the sentence. I wanted to say, Are we a secret? but I didn’t know if we were a we.
“What?” he asked quietly. His fingers touched my arm and made a slow path down to my hand.
“Is this a secret?” I asked. My voice sounded funny. I couldn’t form words properly with him doing that to my arm.
“I thought it might be weird for you, with the rest of the team,” he said. “Honestly I think Grayson’s rule is stupid. We’re both fully capable of making our own choices. But I understand if you don’t want the team to think I’m favoring you.”
That was a good point. Plus, there was Madison to think of. We were team members, and flaunting my relationship with Julian would
