“You’ve been through a lot lately.”
Cassidy ignored where this thought tried to take her.
“Though you’re very protective of him, too.”
A surge of emotion raced through her. “Well, I have to be.”
Bruce sipped his beer. Below them, a car turned down the street. “I lost my mom last year.”
Cassidy grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“Were you close with her?”
He shrugged. “Even though this job makes it hard to be close with anyone, yeah, we were.”
“Is your dad still alive?” she asked.
He nodded. “Working like a dog, like always.”
“My dad worked a lot, too,” she said. “I think it was a coping mechanism, after my mom died.”
“Likely it is for you, too,” he said, catching her gaze.
Cassidy thought about the many conversations she had shared with Jay, about this. Work was okay to escape to, as long as she didn’t ignore her feelings forever. Sometimes we have to put our emotions away for a while because it’s too raw, too painful to deal with. That’s okay. But at some point, those emotions need to be unpacked and processed. It hurts like hell, but that’s the only way we can heal.
Cassidy wondered how many more emotions she had left to process. Barely a week ago, she had experienced a debilitating flashback on the hunt for Izzy. Tonight, being close to Bo like that had brought on feelings she didn’t understand. She had felt as if she was in someone else’s skin, her words not her own. She had felt guilty, though that made no sense. She had no interest in Bo but playing this game with him twisted her emotions into knots.
“Did you ever consider living here?” Bruce asked, moving to one of the lounge chairs.
Cassidy settled into the neighboring one while her mind switched gears. “I love this city, but for me to live here, I would need to have the right job.”
“But you grew up in this area, right? Went to college here, plus Ocean Beach is here, Quinn is here…” He looked like he was about to say more, but stopped himself.
“Here’s a news flash for you,” she said, grinning. “I don’t love Ocean Beach.”
His eyes widened. “No? You don’t love the relentless paddle out? The bone-crunching sets? The powerful currents?”
Cassidy laughed.
“What did you think of Fort Point?”
“It was fun. The wave wasn’t exactly top quality, but it was cool to be there.”
“Yeah, it’s sort of a novelty, but a nice change of pace.”
“Are there always so many people down there, taking pictures? That was a trip.”
Bruce gave a little chuckle. “I’m sure I’m in plenty of photos in my underwear.”
Cassidy remembered his bare torso framed between the open doors of his SUV. “When you were loading the boards, I saw something on your side. A scar,” she said. “Is that from a case?”
Bruce’s gaze drifted away. “Six years ago. We had a hostage situation, and things went south.”
“A bullet wound?”
“Yeah. Got me right below the vest. Thank goodness it missed my spine, or I wouldn’t be here.”
“Did they get the guy who did it?”
“Yeah. Sniper. It was over in seconds.”
“Dead?”
Bruce nodded.
Cassidy sat back against the chair. “Has it ever gotten to be too much? Like…would you ever quit?”
Bruce eyed her. “Quit? Jeez, what the heck would I do if I quit? I love this job.”
“Even though you could die?”
He nodded stiffly. “Being able to settle the score, to bring justice to those who can’t achieve it for themselves is pretty satisfying.”
“Well, sure, but…the danger.”
“You work on the flanks of active volcanoes, don’t you?” he asked, a playful spark lighting up his eyes.
“Yeah, but—”
“No buts!” Bruce interrupted. “Your job is probably more dangerous than mine.”
“Get out!” she said, brushing his comment away with a swipe of her hand.
“Seriously,” Bruce said. “Your job is way more unpredictable. And probably deadlier.”
“But the technology available is very sophisticated. There’re plenty of warning signs.”
“It’s the same for me. Though it’s being able to read people, not technology, that warns me.”
“Yet you still got shot.”
“True, but the perp was a nut job. I wasn’t surprised when he pulled the trigger.”
“Why did you even go in there?”
“Because there was no one else. The hostage negotiation team was on their way, but the situation was deteriorating.” He gave her a stoic look. “He had a kid in there. I had to at least try to stall.”
“Ugh, that sounds awful.”
“It was, but it had to be done.”
She set her beer down and pulled in her knees. “Would you live anywhere else?”
His lips pursed into a pensive frown. “I’m not set to any one place. My assignments have taken me all over. I like the variety.”
“Is it lonely?” she asked.
“What, moving around?”
“Yeah. I mean, being undercover means detaching from your life. Then the friends you make on the assignment aren’t ones you can keep.”
“Not if they’re in the Bureau. We’re like a family.”
“Okay, sure, but those people you built your case around in Costa Rica…they’re gone from your life now.”
Bruce shrugged. “I see what you mean, but heck, I don’t have time to be lonely.”
“Would you ever move back to Hawaii?”
“When I retire maybe, but I don’t know. It’s a different life there.”
“How so?”
“Slower.”
“Maybe it would be good to slow down someday, though. Drink rum all day and surf when you feel like it. Settle down with some young island beauty.”
“Whoa there, I was with you until that.”
“What would be so bad about settling down?” she teased.
His face turned serious. “Because I tried it once and, well, it’s a lot harder than it looks.”
The air whooshed from her lungs. “Crap, I’m sorry.”
He flashed her a pained smile. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I brought it up.”
“C’mon, seriously? After everything we’ve been through, you know you can tell me anything.”
“Why would you want to talk about my divorce?” he said, looking puzzled.
“I don’t,” she said, relieved to see the playfulness return to his eyes. “But I’m a good listener if you do.”
He shifted in his chair. “It was sort of inevitable. I was
