"And somewhere along the line, it stopped being about Paul," he said. "I was on my own. I was accountable to no one, and there was nothing to hold me back. When I was challenging myself, I felt alive."
She gave him a thoughtful look. "What changed two years ago? Was there something specific that happened that made you decide you wanted to come home? That you wanted to be done with extreme adventures?"
"I'm not done, Hannah. I'm just taking my life in a different direction. I'm creating and sharing adventures with people who wouldn't get to have those experiences without me. I'm opening up their worlds, and I like that. I like being a part of a moment in their lives where they conquer their fear, try something new and step outside their comfort zone. It's fun and rewarding."
"I can see how it would be."
"But I can still travel. Just because I've reestablished some roots here in Whisper Lake doesn't mean I can't still take a vacation. I'm not trapped here. I choose to be here. And it feels different because it's my choice, because I was ready to come home."
"But you could choose to leave at any time."
"Just as you could," he said pointedly. "Are you trying to find another reason to push me away, Hannah?"
"I don't need another reason. I'm just saying…you could leave."
"I could, but I don't have any plans to do that. What about you?"
She shrugged. "To be honest, I've thought about leaving on occasion, wondering if I need to see more of the world."
"Is something stopping you?"
"Probably things that aren't completely true anymore, but I haven't let go of them."
"Like your mom and your brother needing you to be here?"
"Yes. I know Tyler doesn't need to be here, but I have been looking out for my mom."
"If you really want to see the world, you should go see it. You know what I think, Hannah?"
"I'm not sure I want to know."
"You've been taking care of everyone else for so long that you don't know how to let them take care of themselves, but they can."
"Deep down, I know that. But it's a recent development."
"Not that recent. Your mom has been sober for almost four years, right? And your brother has been gone a while, too."
She drew in a breath and let it out. "All true. But it's not like I'm dying to go. I love this community. I love my job. There's just been something missing."
"Or someone?" he challenged.
She wasn't going to touch that comment. "I think we should go skating."
He smiled. "We'll get there. It's always easier to look at someone else's life than your own, isn't it?"
"Absolutely. But I think we've talked enough. You said we're going to skate; I want to skate."
"Great. Why don't you leave your bag here, so you don't have to worry about carrying it around while you skate?"
"Are you trying to make sure I come back here after skating?"
"Now that you mention it…"
She couldn't help but grin at his absolutely see-through suggestion. "I'm going to leave my bag because I don't want to carry it around, but that's the only reason."
"Whatever you say."
She headed toward the door, then paused, giving him a pointed look. "And by the way, the ball is back in my court."
His only answer was a really sexy smile.
The skating rink was packed with families and kids. Holiday music and spinning lights added to the fun holiday atmosphere. They put on their skates and left their boots in a cubby, then stepped onto the rink.
The first slide of her blade on the ice brought back a torrent of memories, and she braced herself for whatever pain might follow, but it was the joy that came back, the feeling of familiarity, the sense that everything in her world that had been out of kilter suddenly fell back into place.
Yes, there were images in her head that reminded her of her dad, the way he'd watched her from the side as she took a lesson and the happy times afterward when they'd talked about her routine over hot chocolates or hot apple ciders. There were the two-hour drives they'd taken to rinks outside of Whisper Lake so she could compete. She'd loved those drives because they were together and because she got to do something she loved.
Her dad had been very passionate about dreams. He'd always told her to follow her heart and not be afraid to really live her life, even if it was messy, even if she made mistakes.
His advice rang through her head now, and she couldn't help feeling like she hadn't really gone after her life. She did love her job and her friends. What about everything else? Was she pushing herself enough? Was she taking enough risks?
She looked over at Jake, knowing he was probably the biggest risk she could take.
He smiled. "This isn't enough, is it?"
"What do you mean?" she asked warily, not sure if he was talking about their relationship or the slow speed at which they were moving.
"Skating around in a circle with me. You need to go faster. You need to spin."
"It's too crowded."
"Not anymore," he said, as the rink changed over to adults only for the next ten minutes, and the kids and families cleared the ice. "You have the room you need. It's up to you to take it."
He gave her a little push, as if he didn't trust her to do it on her own. And maybe she wouldn't have.
"Fly, Hannah, the way you used to," he urged. "Feel the ice. Take this moment wherever you want it to go."
She pushed off, gathering speed as she moved forward. Her hair flew out behind her. She didn't know where Jake was anymore, somewhere behind her. But it didn't matter because she was flying. Her talent and her skill came back in seconds. It was as if she had never taken a break from skating.
