"Can we build another one?" Brett asked.
She smiled at his never-ending energy. "It's time for you to take a nap."
"I'm not tired."
"Well, you'll have to try to get a little sleep."
"Is Santa coming tonight?"
"Yes, he is," she said, as she grabbed his hand and took him into the house.
Her mom and Tyler followed, and they all tossed their coats and gloves onto a big pile on the chair by the stairs.
"I'll put Brett down for his nap," her mother said.
"Are you sure? You've been doing a lot of the heavy lifting," she said.
"It's past time for me to do that." Her mother turned to the little boy. "Come on, Brett, I'll read you a story before you go to sleep."
As her mom and Brett went upstairs, she and Tyler made their way into the living room, flopping down on opposite chairs.
"That was fun," Tyler said. "Even though at times it felt like we'd entered some alternate universe with Mom. But I'm not complaining."
"I know what you mean. Brett has awoken something in Mom, and it's beautiful to see. But now he needs his Christmas wish to come true, and that's for Kelly to come back. I've been trying to think of where she might go to hide, and I just can't come up with anything."
"I wish I could say I knew her well enough to guess, but, honestly, I don't remember her that well. That sounds terrible, but it's the truth. I have images of her in my head, but they're fleeting moments in time. Sometimes I'm not even sure I remember the scene or if someone just told me about it. Like, I have this vision of her pitching a softball game. Was I there or did you just tell me what a great pitcher she was?"
"You were there. You were usually playing in the dirt when she was pitching."
"Then I guess I do remember something." He cocked his head to one side, giving her a thoughtful look. "What do you remember about her?"
"She used to do my hair and nails when she was stuck babysitting us. I remember her talking on the phone a lot. She had a laugh that sounded like a musical melody. It started out slow and just kept going, like a song that starts to wrap around your heart."
"I kind of remember that."
"She was fun, reckless, and impulsive. In some ways, she was a lot like Mom. Maybe that's why they couldn't get along. But in the end, she was Daddy's girl. She was definitely his favorite."
"Did that make you feel bad?"
"Middle children are always out in the cold," she said lightly. "Not the desperately wanted first child, or the adorable third child, just the one in the middle."
"I don't even think of us as being three. It was really just you and me."
"We were a good team; we still are."
His expression turned serious. "Sometimes, I feel like I let you carry too much of the load, Hannah. I didn’t help enough. You were going to be a doctor, but you didn't go that route, because you were raising me."
"Well, I love being a nurse, so don't go thinking I'm not happy with my career choice. I ended up exactly where I was meant to be."
"That's good." He paused. "Are you seeing anyone?"
She hesitated. "Not really."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, I've actually reconnected with Jake. I don't know if you remember—"
"Of course I remember Jake. He was a great guy until he broke your heart and made you cry for about a year straight. You're getting back together with him?"
"I don't know. He's the same but he's different; he's better. He's been really supportive through this whole situation, and I still really like him. I'm just afraid we'll end up in the same place. I told him last night that I think we should be done."
"You're letting fear stop you from doing what you want?" Tyler asked.
"I wouldn't put it that way."
"There's no other way to put it. You just said you were afraid, so you ended it."
"He hurt me, Tyler. While he has apologized, he has never really said why he did it. And I can't deal with secrets. I need to be in a relationship where all the cards are face up on the table."
"Where's the fun in that? There's nothing wrong with a little mystery."
"There's plenty wrong."
"Well, I think you're wrong," he said pointedly. "You're also not acting like yourself. You are the girl who goes against all odds to achieve her goals. But you're letting something from a long time ago stop you from being happy now? That doesn't seem smart."
"I didn't say it was smart. It's just that Jake has so much power over me. He sweeps me off my feet so easily. I could lose myself in him. And it took a tremendous amount of effort and a lot of years for me to get over him the first time. Why would I put myself through that again?"
"Love."
She stiffened at his simple answer. "What do you know of love?"
"I might have met someone," he admitted.
"Really? Is it serious?"
"It could be. We're going to spend New Year's together in Aspen."
"That sounds romantic." She felt an unexpected wave of jealousy. She had a feeling her New Year's Eve was going to be another night alone or watching her friends fawn all over their boyfriends and husbands. Aside from Keira, the single circle was getting quite small.
"I plan on pulling out all the stops," Tyler said, an excited sparkle in his eyes.
"Good for you. When do I get to meet her?"
"We'll see how New Year's goes. What are you doing that night?"
"I have no idea. I can't think past Christmas or Kelly." She let out a sigh. "I feel so frustrated, Tyler. I want to go out and find her."
"Black Falls is a huge area. Where would you even start looking?"
"I don't know, but I feel like I have to do something.
