Once I was composed enough, I got up and washed my face. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, feeling like I was looking at a different person than the one I saw just months ago in this same mirror. I was stronger, happier, and most of all forgiving of my greatest critic—myself.
“Let’s go for a walk and get some ice cream,” I announced as I came out of the bathroom. Theo, who was on the floor playing with Thomas, looked up at me in surprise. I knew what he was more than likely thinking, just a short while ago I was in the midst of a major meltdown and now, I wanted ice cream. “I know.” I shrugged. “What can I say? All that crying made me hungry.”
He shook his head and flashed me that boyish grin and my heart melted all over again, but in a very good way.
We walked up to the little ice cream stand not far from my house, then took a seat at a nearby bench overlooking a pond. As I fed Thomas spoonfuls of ice cream, the words I was unable to render back at my house were now flowing off my lips as I told Theo all the details of the emotional morning. I was both surprised and elated that I was able to get through it without any more tears.
“You did it, and you also let Thomas meet a little part of his father in the process. You should be so proud of yourself.”
“I am.” It was the first time in a long time that I could admit I was proud of myself for anything.
Theo wiped the ice cream from Thomas’ face and hands and pulled out one of his trucks from the bag. Thomas climbed from the bench and found a small patch of dirt on the ground to ride his truck through.
“So, I was wondering,” I said.
“What’s that?” Theo replied as he watched Thomas pick up a handful of dirt and sift it through his hand.
“Do you think I’ll need to buy some more umbrellas?”
He shifted his focus from Thomas and gazed at me in confusion. “Huh?” He creased his eyebrows.
“When I move to England…with you.”
His mouth curved up into a beautiful smile. “Really? You’re not joking, are you?”
I shook my head.
“Well, in that case, you won’t need any because you have my word, I will always be there to protect you from whatever storms that come.”
I suddenly remembered my wedding vows with Evan, and how we had promised to be each other’s umbrellas in the rain. When we separated, I dwelled on how we had turned our back on every single promise we had made to each other on the day we said, “I do.” It took me a long while to realize that we hadn’t dismissed those words we had spoken when we promised each other forever, we had just altered them. Theo, Kate, and Thomas had been my umbrella during my storm of doubt, guilt, and insecurity, and it was because of Evan that they came into my life. It was as if he had sent them to me, to get me through.
Now, I would be the umbrella for his child, loving him, caring for him, and shielding him from as much pain as I possibly could. As I rested my head on Theo’s shoulder, he lifted my hand that was clasped in his and gave it a gentle kiss. This journey had taken me from a naïve college girl with rose-colored glasses, to a thirty-five-year-old woman who realized the tint on those glasses eventually fades away over time.
Evan was my first love. The kind that gives you butterflies at the sight of his name lighting up your phone. The kind of love that you believe can weather any storm. The kind of love that everyone should experience once in their life, and if they’re lucky enough, hang on to forever. Such wasn’t the case for us, but there was no doubt in my mind that I did truly love him with all my heart, and I would never have any regrets over that.
Theo was the kind of love that comes along when you least expect it, after the allure of Prince Charming has faded away. The kind of love that has fared the storm, coming out of it with flaws and imperfections that molds you into a better person. The kind of love that not many are given a second chance to experience, but when they are, they’re wise enough to never let it go. Proving my grandmother’s theory wrong—you can have more than one true love in your life. So many people will cross our paths in our lifetime. Sometimes only briefly, like mere words on a page. Sometimes longer, creating whole chapters to our story, some sad, some happy. Only we can control how we allow that story to end.
“You know something, Theo?” I asked, noticing the cracks in the pavement below us for the first time since we had sat down.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“What if those cracks aren’t really mistakes we made in life but instead something else?” I took my eyes from the ground and was looking directly into his.
“Well, I suppose they can be anything you want them to be.”
Thomas picked up his truck and climbed on the bench between us, screeching with glee as he pointed at the ducks in the water before sliding back off and running around once again.
Theo took my hand in his and moved closer, looking down at the pavement. “What
