I feel his words in my heart. A voice inside tells me he is speaking his truth. A small fissure has started inside me, cracking the vault that has held me together for all these years. My hatred for him has been the fuel that kept the fire going. If I believe the words he’s saying it means I threw away my soul mate all those years ago for something he didn’t do.
Silence falls between us I can’t help but stare into his eyes. His gaze pleading with me to believe him.
“Tensanne?” I hear from behind me. Kohl’s gaze turning cold when he glares at the source of my name over my shoulder.
“It is you,” Wren says standing beside the table.
“Wren? Wow, what are you doing here?” I ask. Glad for the break from the intensity weighing me down. Happy to see my old friend.
“I’m doing a college visit with my son. Wow, you are still stunning,” he replies. Glancing across the table, “Oh, hello, Kohl,” he sneers.
“Wren,” Kohl grumbles.
“So, you two ended up together after all, huh? I would have never thought you would have survived the whole video mess. Well, I hoped you wouldn’t; that’s why I posted it,” he says smugly.
One second is all it takes for your world to change, one second is all it takes for the words he said to register in our brains. Both our heads whip in his direction.
“You shared that video?” I scream while Kohl jumps from his chair and grabs ahold of Wren’s shirt, punching him in the face.
Grabbing Kohl’s arm before he can land another blow, “Stop,” I plead.
Holding my purse to my chest, “W-why? Why would you do that to me?” My mind is a whirlwind of questions, overloaded with emotions and rage is clawing its way up my spine staring into the cold face of my former best friend. The boy who had been my friend when no one else wanted to be, the boy who knew my pain, the boy I had given my virginity to is also the boy who destroyed the brief happiness I had lived in for a very short time. A life-altering happiness I gave up ever being able to find again.
Wiping the blood from his split lip with the back of his hand, “I thought you knew. I figured that was why I never heard from you again. After I visited you and you told me you would be in touch but never called, I thought you had figured it out. I wanted you for myself, Tensanne. I needed to get him out of the way. I was a little obsessed with you back then. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get you to let me in, to give me a chance. There was always someone standing in my way. Had I known he was leaving for the NBA, I would have waited,” he says snidely.
“You son of a bitch, you ruined everything,” Kohl growls diving in for another strike.
Wren’s holding his hands in front of his face to block the blow, “Stop. Stop, Kohl.” I scream grabbing his arm. Looking to my fingers on him, Kohl backs away. Allowing the fury of hate to fill my body I step up to Wren and slap him across the face.
“You’re a seriously sick bastard, Wren. You ruined my life. You took everything away from me. You risked my college education because you were petty and had a crush on me. You were supposed to be my friend, not some psycho idiot who stalked me. You created twenty years of heart ache and sadness. I didn’t want you. With or without Kohl, you never would have had me; everything you did was for nothing. You need to leave. Now. Before I let Kohl pummel you into the piece of trash that you are.”
His eyes on Kohl filled with fear, he runs out of the café.
“That stupid little cock sucker. He took everything,” Kohl rages pacing back and forth.
Rolling back my shoulders, standing straight, “What he did was wrong. Despicable. But it’s in the past. It’s done, it’s over,” I say pulling the shade back down over my emotions and fastening my wall back into place.
“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Tensanne. Please, please give us another chance,” he begs taking my hands in his. I feel the spark that was always there when he touched me zing up my arms and zap me right in the heart.
“I can’t go back, Kohl. I’m not that girl anymore; I never want to be her again. That insecure, afraid, needy girl died when I left JSU,” I say, leaving him before he sees my tears.
Furiously, I make my way out of the café. I stop in my tracks when my eyes meet the white eyes of Esmeralda. She nods her head and winks, then right before my eyes she’s gone. Chills run along my skin.
Safely tucked away in my room at Ronnie’s, I sit in shock that the answer was in front of me the entire time. I never thought to point the finger at Wren but now thinking back I see it all too clearly. The way he was always staring, the way he would get so angry at me, his persistence, the signs were always there.
Wiping the angry tears from my face, I pull the worn envelope out of my purse. I have rubbed the ink so many times my name is worn away from the yellowing paper.
Opening it, the first words fill my heart with a warmth I thought was lost long ago.
Tennie Girl-
My glorious, wonderful, Tennie Girl. I can’t breathe without you. My heart is frozen without you to help it beat. I know you are hurting. I feel your pain all through my bones. I want to kiss away your tears. I want to hold you in my arms and never
