That video took you away from me. I didn’t record you. I would never share you with anyone. I don’t know who destroyed us but I will not rest until I find out. You are my universe. Without you, I have lost my orbit. I’m free falling and I don’t know where I will land.
A pain sliced through me like someone was trying to cut my heart out with a knife. I don’t know where the pain came from. It’s so much more intense than the pain I’m already suffering but my heart is with you anyway. My world is shrouded in darkness without your light.
Someday, maybe you can return my heart to me. Someday, hopefully, you will see you are mine forever. You’re smart, beautiful, funny and my soul aches for your touch.
I’m leaving. I’m going to play for the NBA. I wanted to tell you in person, to let you know that no matter where I am or how far apart we are, we will always be together.
For now, I’ll leave you. But I will always be waiting. Find your way back to me. God, please find your way back to me. Open your wonderful eyes and see I could never hurt you. The words ‘I love you’ are not enough. I will stay in darkness until your light finds me again and makes me whole.
Yours for infinity,
Kohl
Sobbing uncontrollably, I can’t breathe. I’ve had his love this whole time, I’ve had the truth with me for years but I refused to open it. The small fissure that cracked open in my chest bursts open into a full emotional earthquake and my heart explodes with love. Not the love I feel for my kids. The love that has been cold since the day in my dorm. The love the magic was supposed to take away. The love that only belongs to one man. The man who owns my soul, the man that time couldn’t erase and the one who no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t keep locked away.
Chapter Thirty-Four
What’s love got to do with it? Everything, love has everything to do with it.
—Kohl’s inner thoughts
Kohl
MY BLOOD IS rushing through my veins. I can’t believe that little fucker blurted that out like it was no big deal. Why did I never think his slimy ass was the one who ruined it all?
He was always after her. Always lurking around, staring at her. I never thought of him as a threat but he destroyed everything.
Fuck.
Pacing back and forth, I need to hit something. No, I need find the dickhead and make him pay for what he did. A punch to the face is not enough, he needs to pay for twenty years of pain he’s caused. His selfishness ruined two lives while he went on with his; Wren, the worm, needs to be punished for sharing the woman who belongs to me with the world.
Grabbing my keys, I head to the door to do what I should have done in the cafe. Put an end to Wren Morris. Forcefully pulling the door open, I run into Tensanne with her hand poised to knock.
Knocking her body back, I grip her arms to stop her before she falls.
“Tensanne?” I asked, shock taking the place of rage at her standing on my porch.
“Kohl,” she mutters softly, launching her body at me, crushing her lips to mine.
All the anger flees my body, lust, love, and something I lost long ago, hope, rushes through my veins. I wrap my arms tightly around her while our tongues and teeth battle for control.
Swinging her around, I kick the door shut. Pushing her up against it, as soon as it slams. Our hands are everywhere. Clothes flying in every direction until she stands naked before me. Her body the same as I remembered altered only by the marks left from pregnancy.
The need to claim her is too great. Lifting her thigh, I slam inside. Her gasps between kisses fueling me. I can’t get enough. I can’t move fast enough, get deep enough. Being inside her again is like food to a starving man, being connected to her body is home. I’m furiously slamming into her, there’s no rhythm, no smoothness, it’s all need and twenty years of want. Her pussy grips me tight when she explodes, toppling me over the edge with her.
Coming back down from the high, I search out her eyes. Half-lidded, satisfied, pliant, her mouth crooks up in a smile.
“I don’t want to live without you anymore, Kohl, I can’t” she pants breathlessly with love lighting up her face.
Everything else is forgotten. The anger, the rage, the hurt, the loneliness it’s all lost in the sea of love radiating from her body. For the first time in years, I feel peace. I feel happy and I feel the love pouring from her heart to mine.
Epilogue
WE DIDN’T LEAVE Kohl’s bed for days. Turns out, making up for twenty years’ worth of loss takes a few days. We finally emerged when Ronnie came searching for us, threatening to bust down the door if she didn’t physically see us in person.
We spent hours talking, touching, loving. We never let our hands stop feeling one another. It’s like we thought if we let go it would all vanish and the little bubble of happiness we had built would burst. He told me about his basketball career, I told him about my life over the last few years. How I finished my bachelor’s degree in three years, my graduate, and doctorate degrees simultaneously in one year and began writing my books a year later.
Kohl never married. He said he couldn’t find someone to fill the void I left behind. I told him about my failed marriage and that it, too, ended because my heart was only with him. I told him about my children and my granddaughter. By the time we climbed out
