With her gone, he became steadily aware of the solid thumps of the hearts surrounding him and the metallic scent of the blood pulsing through the veins so close to him. He hadn't realized just how much she drowned out the human odors and sounds when she was near. Even when he was under control, there was never a time when he was unaware of the walking temptations surrounding him. When she was with him, it was as if the rest of the world ceased to exist. He knew the walking, talking, bodies of warm blood were still around him, but he didn't care about their existence.
But now he could feel the darkness creeping steadily through his system, teasing him with its promised words of release and satisfaction. If he would give in just once, it would all go away, but even as he thought it, he knew he was wrong. It would never go away; it would only claw at his insides until he was out hunting and killing every night to satisfy his insatiable thirst.
It would go on until he became one of the monsters confined to the shadows as every death made the sun more unbearable, crossing water became increasingly difficult, and he reeked of the garbage scent he and his siblings detected on the vampires who tried to kill them.
He could never hide his dirty secret from his family then; they would know what he was, what he had become, and they would never accept him. They would love him for eternity, but they would never condone his actions. He would be on his own, a monster adrift in the world until someone, or something, finally put him out of his misery.
Ethan's hands fisted, he inhaled a deep breath and focused on the ocean as he tried to regain control of himself. Emma shut out the world when she was with him, but it was now louder than before he'd known her. It would be so easy to stand up, talk to the first person he saw, slip away somewhere quiet, and just give in to the bloodlust within him. He may even be able to do it before Emma returned.
Sweat beaded across his brow as his fingernails dug into the flesh of his palms. He could feel the blood welling up from the gouges he created, but even as he pulled the tissue back, it knitted itself closed again. Right there was a man who was so close Ethan could have him out of here in seconds. His fangs tingled; his mouth watered as a ringing sounded in his ears. All he could think about was finally giving in to the impulses he’d denied for so long.
He was getting ready to put his feet down and go to the man when a small hand settled on his forearm. In an instant, the world went still again, the pounding beat of his heart eased, and his fangs retracted into his gums. He found himself able to breathe again as calm settled over him and he turned to face Emma.
She smiled at him as she sat on the chair across from him again. She went to remove her hand, but he seized it. After what had happened, he couldn't lose the contact with her so soon. A small trail of his blood smeared the back of her knuckles; he wiped it hastily away with his thumb before she saw it. The fact he left the trail, that he’d sullied her in this small way, made him feel dirty and unworthy, but he still couldn't bring himself to release her. He was terrified of what he would become if he did.
Chapter Eleven
Emma waited outside the store for Ethan to purchase the chess set for his father. Calypso music drifted from somewhere down the street. She couldn't help but hum and tap her foot as she examined some lovely, hand-painted bottles set up in the window of the store. She lifted her head and spotted Ethan at the cash register; she waved to him when he looked up and caught her staring.
He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the cashier. His gaze kept going surreptitiously to Emma as he waited impatiently for the woman to ring up his items. Knowing Emma was right there helped him keep his cool, but the world was closing in on him again. He wiped away the sweat beading across his forehead and wrapped his hands around the counter.
"Is there anything else you would like?" the woman inquired and touched his arm flirtatiously.
Ethan jerked away from her and glanced at Emma again when she wandered away from the store. Stay in sight, he pleaded silently.
"No," he grated at the saleswoman, hoping the tone of his voice would dissuade anymore of her interest and spur her into action. The woman eyed him uncertainly; Ethan took a deep breath as she finally completed his purchase.
As the song ended, Emma turned back toward where the motorcycle was parked. She didn't want this day to end, but she was looking forward to getting back on it with him again. He appeared in the doorway of the store and held his right hand out to her as he shifted the bag into his left hand. She took it and followed him the few steps down the street to the motorcycle.
He put the chess set into the saddlebag and helped her with the helmet again before settling onto the seat. Feeling a little more confident this time, she climbed on behind him and slid her arms around his waist. Heat encompassed her as she
