Seeing that they weren’t going to relent, Robert cursed. “I should’ve killed you, too,” he said under his breath to Dallas and that was all it took to ignite the powder keg of emotion that was rippling through the entire family. Aiyana managed to grab Dallas and hung on for dear life, stopping him only because he wouldn’t risk hurting her, but the porch quickly emptied as the rest of her sons went after Robert.
“Call a taxi,” she yelled to Cal and let go of Dallas long enough to get in between Robert and her other boys.
“No,” she told them. “I won’t have this. His life will be difficult enough. Why do you think he’s here? He’s looking for a place to land, people he can live off of, but he can just keep on moving.”
Although it wasn’t easy, she managed to get Seth to help her stop the others, and by the time she felt she had things under control, Robert was walking as fast as possible toward the road, where she hoped the taxi would find him and deliver him to the bus stop so he could get out of town.
“Good riddance,” she said, and tried to herd her boys back into the house before someone decided to run after him. She was so glad things hadn’t gone any worse. But the moment she saw Dallas’s face, she stopped. He was staring after his father with such a bereft expression her heart broke for him.
“Dallas, we have to go,” Seth said gently. “You’re going to miss your flight.”
Finally, Dallas pulled his gaze away. But he didn’t get in Seth’s car. “Who am I kidding?” he muttered. “It’s not going to work.”
Leaving his suitcase on the porch, he stalked to his van, revved the engine and drove off.
“Damn Robert Ogilvie.” Aiyana wished she were the one who’d seen him coming so that she could’ve chased him off before Dallas encountered him.
“Should I go after him?” Seth asked, obviously concerned and eager to do so.
She briefly considered letting him, but decided against it. “He’s an adult. There’s nothing we can do,” she told Seth and the others, who were offering to go, too. “Just give him some space. This is something he has to come to terms with on his own. At least he knows we love him,” she added, and hung all her hope on that.
30
Dallas thought his lungs would burst. He’d never run so hard in his life, but he had to get away from the town, the valley and the people—especially his father. How dare Robert Ogilvie reappear in his life, especially on Christmas! What did the bastard expect would happen when he arrived? Could Robert really have imagined, after what he did, that Dallas could embrace him and move forward?
Never! Robert had killed that possibility when he pulled out a gun twenty-three years ago. Any normal person would know that.
Although he was quickly growing weaker, Dallas forced himself to keep going. Not only did he need to outdistance the town and the people, he had to outdistance the images in his head.
Except that was impossible. He’d never forget the casual way his father had approached the house, as if it was just another day and what he’d done was no big deal. As if Dallas could ever want to see him or associate with him again. As if Dallas would ever betray Jenny like that.
His heart pumped hard and fast as he gulped for air and jumped over a rock, pivoted around a tree and continued up the narrow trail that led to the summit. He was somewhere in the Topatopa Mountains, but he didn’t know where. He hadn’t paid any attention. He’d just abandoned his van somewhere it probably didn’t belong and taken the shortest route he could find to higher ground.
It almost felt as though Robert were chasing him. He’d always imagined avenging his mother and Jenny, if given the opportunity. And yet he’d done nothing, other than shout for Robert to leave. He felt as though he’d let them both down. But if he had done something more, it would’ve hurt Aiyana, someone else he loved, who’d been there, too, pleading with him. The opposing sides—the anger from the past and the desire to heal and be normal—warred with each other until he thought he’d be torn in two.
Tears streamed down his face by the time he reached the top. Staggering to a halt, he bent over, struggling just to remain on his feet. “Jenny!” he yelled as though she could step out from behind a tree. “Jenny!”
He fell to his knees as his own voice echoed back to him and grabbed a handful of dirt, letting it slip through his fingers. He owed her so much that he could never repay, and the fact that he’d done nothing when Robert appeared turned his stomach to acid.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry.” But he knew he was apologizing for more than what he hadn’t done this morning. He was apologizing for being alive, for the fact that she’d felt it was necessary to protect him, for the fact that she might’ve been able to hide or escape herself if she hadn’t been so worried about him.
“God, Jenny,” he cried, his voice growing hoarse. “Every day, I wish it was me instead of you.”
A cold wind whistled through the trees. He hadn’t bothered with a coat, and he was wet, dripping with perspiration. But he couldn’t feel it. In his mind, he kept seeing his father come up the walk, over and over, and wondered what he could’ve done differently to make it so that he would hate himself less.
That was when he remembered Brian saying something he’d tucked away like a gold coin or other precious keepsake: I love you like a son.
Rocking back on his heels, he pulled his phone out of his
