“Or maybe you won’t like it,” Ryan said. “I told them that if you wanted to be with Emery you wouldn’t have let her go. You know what you’re doing. Who would give up the opportunity you’ve got? You’re going to be rich and famous. But even Seth thought Mom was right.”
Dallas felt his eyebrows come together as he looked from face to face. Climbing and being with Emery wasn’t really as mutually exclusive as he’d made it sound, but he was glad he’d sold Ryan, at least. “What does this have to do with Emery?”
Aiyana stepped forward and handed him a sheet of paper. “Merry Christmas,” she said. “From all of us.”
There wasn’t enough light streaming in from the hall to be able to read what was on it. “What is this?”
Taylor snapped on the light. “Take a look.”
Dallas had to cover his eyes for a second, but once they adjusted he could see that he was holding a boarding pass—and when he read the fine print he understood it was for a flight to Boston that left Los Angeles today at noon. “You bought me a plane ticket?”
“We bought you a second chance to decide,” Seth said.
Dallas wasn’t sure how to feel about this, whether he was relieved because he now had the opportunity to take off and go after Emery, which was what he’d wanted to do since she left, or irritated that those he loved seemed to be undermining his attempt to resist something he wasn’t capable of managing. “Because I made the wrong decision the first time?”
“If I had to answer that solely by the way you’ve behaved since she left, yes,” Seth said.
“This just enables you to reconsider,” Aiyana explained, softening his answer. “In case you regret your decision. Even if you don’t, you could always go to Boston to see Emery—just for a visit.”
Apparently his mother didn’t understand a mere visit was out of the question. He couldn’t go to Boston only to tell Emery that he hadn’t changed his mind.
“I know climbing is important to you,” Cal said. “But I don’t know anything more fulfilling than finding someone to love, who loves you back and makes you happy.”
“Even if I decide to try to have a relationship with her, we don’t know that it will last,” Dallas said, giving them the argument he’d used on himself so often.
“Do you really want to deny yourself the possibility?” Seth asked.
Some things were more important than climbing. He understood that. But what they didn’t understand was that he didn’t deserve to be that happy. Poor Jenny had lost her life protecting him. Somehow grabbing hold of what he felt for Emery seemed too greedy—almost like a betrayal.
“She’ll be better off without me,” he said, handing the boarding pass back to Aiyana.
“See?” Ryan piped up. “I told you. Good thing we got him some other stuff, too.”
“Can we open our presents now?” Liam asked.
With a disgusted shake of his head, Seth started for the door. “How about we go back to bed and start this day over in a couple of hours?”
Aiyana was obviously disappointed, but she didn’t say so. “Okay. We’ll let you sleep.”
They all left, but when they were gone and Dallas was free to roll over and go back to sleep, he felt like throwing up—like the terrified little boy he’d been hiding under his sister’s bed. They didn’t know how deeply that had affected him, that he still had nightmares about it and felt so guilty about Jenny there were times when he felt he could scarcely breathe.
With a curse, he got up and paced across the floor. He couldn’t give in, couldn’t go to Boston. He’d only mess it up. He wasn’t capable of giving Emery what she needed, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve her.
But as the clock ticked away, and he heard footsteps on the floor above him and exclamations from his brothers as they teased and joked and enjoyed the holiday, a small voice—Jenny’s voice—seemed to say: Do it, Dallas. Don’t let what I did go to waste.
Tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes and tried to listen closer. “Is that you?” he whispered, “Looking out for me again?” and felt such a tremendous warmth go through him that he couldn’t believe any other way.
He sank onto the bed, trying to hang on to what he felt. It left soon after, but he knew what he had to do—what he had to be brave enough to do. “Wait a second!” he called, coming to his feet and charging up the stairs. “Where’s that boarding pass? I’m going.”
They converged on him as soon as he reached the living room.
“Seriously?” Ryan said when Aiyana, her smile wide, handed Dallas the boarding pass.
Seth leaned against the doorframe wearing a self-satisfied grin. “That’s what he should’ve done in the first place.”
Dallas hoped Seth was right. As he headed back downstairs to get showered and packed, his heart was pounding harder than when he was executing a tricky and highly dangerous move high above the valley of Yosemite. They’d awakened him so early because it would take time to make the flight. He needed to hurry.
He was ready within an hour, so he was able to take the time to have breakfast and open presents with his family. Knowing he was going to see Emery changed everything about how he’d been feeling. He was happier than he’d ever been, which still somehow made him feel guilty.
Trying to suppress that reaction wasn’t easy, but he shoved it away as much as he could. After fending off the teasing and many jokes he’d suffered for acting so tough and then caving in, he was laughing when he opened the door to carry out his suitcase. He was going to put
