“You want to be an adult?” I braced myself for what was to come, because I knew that it was going to be bad. He held the power, but I was so sick of being scared. “Gather your things. You no longer live in this house. I’m ashamed of your promiscuous choices and I refused to be judged by them.”
“I think screwing a woman half your age gives everyone around campus enough to talk about. Maybe you should focus more on how she hikes her skirt for any man with a pulse and a lot less on my life.”
I didn’t take any time to gather my things, instead I spun on my heels and stormed out the front door. My heart was in my throat, my hands shaking so intensely that I squeezed them in an attempt to control the tremble.
The anger set forth so many emotions but in the end the tears won. I sat down outside the library, buried my face in my hands, and cried. Years of frustration, fear, and loneliness hit me, crippling me.
I had no idea what to do next but for the first time in longer than I could remember I felt free.
***
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here with me?” I smiled as I curled into my comforter a little more. It was a move I’d done often, as if trying to hide from everything outside of my little cocoon.
“I’m good here.”
It had been three days since I packed up my clothes and personal items from my father’s house. Darcy helped while he was in a meeting and then she drove me across the city to Vera’s apartment and spent hours helping me get settled. I felt like I was imposing on her, but she was the one who insisted I stay with her.
“Babe, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” None of this was his fault. “This thing between my father and I had been boiling for a while.”
“But I—”
“Jay, I promise you that none of this can be blamed on you. It really wouldn’t have mattered who it was my father saw me with. He lost control, he knew that.”
“Let me come get you.” His voice was almost desperate. “I’m supposed to go over to my sister’s and I don’t want to, but having you with me would make it so much better.”
“I don’t really know your sister.” Besides the one time where she watched me and her brother bicker before he walked away without looking back. I wasn’t even sure what I would say to her.
“My sister is easy to get along with, and besides, she has been bugging me to bring you over.” I was sure she wanted to analyze me and see if I was good enough for her brother. I wasn’t sure I had it in me.
“Honestly, I really just want to have you with me.” Jay’s sweetness made me feel emotional. “I miss you.”
Call me weak, call me a pushover, but the truth was I missed him too. When Jay held me he managed to soothe all the unsettled feelings and fears.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jay
I’d been replaced, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. One night we hung out with my sister and now she and Ruby were inseparable. Coffee in the mornings, lunch on most days, and whenever I tried to make plans with my girlfriend, I was told she’s with my sister.
I was the third wheel, the outsider.
My sister had snatched up Ruby the very second we entered her apartment on that first night and hadn’t let her out of her sight since. Like they were long lost besties, sharing wine, cheese, and fucking pretzels, they were in their own little world.
I wasn’t even sure on most days that either of them remembered I was even there.
But hearing Ruby laugh, seeing her smile and relax, it was worth being tossed aside. I endured the girl talk, smiled through the recap of all my childhood embarrassing moments as my sister held nothing back. I’d seen a new side of Ruby develop, one I was sure had been there all along, only she was far too afraid to show her.
It was a Saturday night and I had been scrolling through the channels, trying my best to entertain myself while Ruby and Jade moved around the apartment, giggling from consuming a little too much wine. Ruby insisted that it was time for my sister to settle into her place. It had been months and most of her things were still in boxes. I understood her hesitance, I never felt right pushing her, but Ruby didn’t hold back.
It surprised me when Jade opened up to Ruby and freely shared her past. The shitty relationships, even when the men got physical. It infuriated me actually to hear once again what the fucking piece of shit men put her through, but I knew she was bonding with my girl and they both needed it.
These were their moments, my sister was falling in love with Ruby, and in a way I was too. Seeing her with my sister, so relaxed and carefree. Her smile lighting up the room. It was almost like every single time the air was knocked out of me. She was so unbelievably beautiful, perfect.
Turning around, I rested my arm over the back of the couch and watched them quietly. Music played from the dining room as they each held a glass of wine in one hand while they looked around the rooms for the perfect place to
