I’d never felt the things I was feeling.
The tip of Jay’s finger made contact with the bare skin just above the hem of my jeans and I felt the chills break out over my skin. Without even realizing what I was doing I moved my ass against him and felt his grip tighten on my hip and stomach. I should have stopped there, I knew this, but I didn’t.
Wiggling my ass, I smiled when Jay bit the side of my neck. “You shouldn’t tease a guy who has been barely hanging onto his control already for days.”
“Who said I’m teasing?” I was asking for trouble.
Slowly I allowed him to turn me around and face him. His hand that was once on my stomach was now on the small of my back. The other rested on my ass, with his thumb hooked on the pocket of my jeans.
I could feel the semi-hardness of his cock against my stomach and I knew in that very moment this was the time to pump the brakes or stomp on the gas pedal.
The way he was watching me, scanning over my face in search of something only gave me more confidence to do what I already knew I wanted to. Gliding my palms over his chest, I linked them together behind his neck and pulled him in closer. The way he had to slouch just a bit in order to let me kiss him was just another thing I loved. His height, his arms that weren’t big and bulky but strong, and his shoulders, my God, I loved his shoulders.
Just before his lips touched mine I paused and locked my eyes on his. “I really need a shower.” He arched a brow and I almost laughed at the confused look on his face. “Would you mind washing my back for me?”
Instantly confusion shifted to interest and I covered his lips with my own.
Forget the brakes, I was over slowing down and overthinking things.
***
The click of the bathroom door followed by the twist of the lock should have made me nervous, but I only felt excitement. I waited for him to walk across the bathroom as I stood just outside the shower wearing only my bra and panties. He paused, his gaze roaming over me from head to toe. I visibly saw his throat bob as he swallowed hard.
I turned him on. Me.
I’d never been desired. I’d never been looked at the way Jay looked at me. He made me feel beautiful.
Stepping closer, my eyes fluttered shut when he traced over the length of my arm with the tip of his fingers. I swear I felt that simple touch in every single fiber of my body. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered but I heard him clearly in the silence of the bathroom. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.” There was no need for hesitation.
Gathering the hem of his shirt, I lifted and immediately he started to help me. Almost like he couldn’t move fast enough. He was nervous, which only excited me more.
I affected him. I unnerved him.
Me!
“There is no rush.” I knew this. “We can shower, then go crawl in bed and watch a movie. There’s no pressure for more.”
He was adorable, the way his hands trembled as I glided over his now bare chest with the very tips of my fingers.
“Ruby.” Lifting my head, locking my eyes with his, I found him staring back at me. “I can’t do this.” My heart sank. “I can’t be the guy you thought I was only weeks ago.”
Reminded of that time I felt instantly guilty. Jay wasn’t who I thought he was. He didn’t make me feel like just another girl, the way he looked at me, the way he held me close for no reason other than he wanted to feel me there.
“I know you’re not that guy.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my body close to his and he didn’t hesitate for a second to hold me like I was the most delicate thing he’d ever held in his arms. “You’ve proven that over and over, and I will never not regret placing you in that category.”
I took a deep breath. “I know that I don’t have to do this. I know that you would wait and not once pressure me for more. But I want this. There is not one ounce of doubt in my mind that I want you to be the one I share this with.”
Something flashed in his eyes. “Ruby, have you―” He paused, his held tilting just slightly as if to gain a better view of my eyes prior to continuing. “Are you―” I knew what he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t seem to get the words out.
“Never.” Any other time I would have felt embarrassed, but not with Jay. “Up until now I’ve never found anyone that I’ve wanted to share that with. I’m not the girl guys find appealing. I’m easy to ignore.”
Suddenly he was holding my face in his hands, one palm on each side, forcing me to see him and only him. “You are so wrong, Ruby, you are impossible to ignore. You are the girl guys feel intimidated by because they know without a doubt that once they have you close, it will be impossible to let you go.”
I felt my emotions get the best of me.
“I need you to know that regardless of what happens tonight, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t need sex, Ruby.” I pressed my lips to his without allowing him to finish. He didn’t have
