One finger goes down, and I rev. The second finger go down, and I grip the wheel harder.
Three. I punch the gas but hold steady. Jordan is predictable—he hits the gas and flies out the gate. But what this prick doesn’t get is that you have to be smart. So I stay on his tail.
He stays in the lead through most of the track. Then the last leg comes up. This is my moment. I push the gas until it hits the floor, surging forward. That cocky little fucker thought he was going to win.
I pass him at the last minute just as he backs off. Why the fuck would he back off?
I cross the finish line and slow. I’ve won. Eat that, fucker. I hit my brakes . . . but I don’t stop. The car slides forward like it’s gliding across an oil slick. I pump the brakes and steer into the slide as I try to find some control over the situation.
Then I’m upside down. Glass is flying. Metal is crunching. But as I flip, I don’t see the wreck happening or feel anything. I just see Fallon’s face. I see what could happen to her if I don’t find her. What could’ve already happened to her. I see Jade and Cason left to fight my father on their own. I see my mother sad and lonely pining for her children’s lives—or what’s left of them. Then I see all of them standing side by side, the disappointment on their faces.
“Jesse.” Fallon’s voice whispers in my ear. Her voice soothes my soul. “Jesse. Wake up. You have to wake up.”
“Jesse.” This time it’s Cason’s voice. “Jesse, are you alright?”
I open my eyes. Fallon’s gone. Her voice has disappeared, along with her touch, her warmth. Everything I crave. I’m hanging upside down in my car. I look to the whole where my window was to people running towards my car.
“Jesse,” Jade screams.
“Jade, get back! I’ll get him,” Cason yells.
I reach up and unhook my belt. I fall to the ground, hitting my head and leaving me a bit woozy. I slowly crawl through the broken window. Cason reaches down and grabs my wrist. I latch my hand around his so we’re gripping each other and let him pull me out.
I stand up and rub my hands through my hair. I can feel the adrenaline draining from my system. I turn to look at my car. Or, at least, what’s left of it. Fuck.
“What the fuck were you thinking? Racing? Shady said you showed up here drunk.” Cason is pissed. “Man, get your fucking head on straight. I know Fallon isn’t here right now, but you can’t do shit like this.”
He turns toward the car and lifts his hands to rub the back of his head. The stress is radiating off of him. He was worried.
“Shady called you?” I ask, surprised.
“She sure as fuck did. The moment you showed up hammered.” Well, shit. Is no one fucking loyal these days?
“You good?” Shady walks up to me with a cigarette hanging from her hand, scanning me from head to toe.
“Fuck, man. She’s a goner,” Cason says as he lowers his hands and places them on his hips.
“Well, that’s a fucking shame,” Shady says, “I liked that car.”
“Jesse, are you okay?” Jade finally reaches me and gets all up in my space, running her hands in my hair and over my face, checking me over.
“I’m fine.” I try to push her hands away. “Stop, Jade. I said I’m fine,” I say as I grip her by the wrists and hold her hands away from me. Once again, I look over my car. It’s trashed.
“Not such a hot-shot now, are you?” Jordan says as he rounds the wreck.
“You little piece of shit,” Cason snarls as he rounds to face Jordan. “You probably had something to do with this, you slimy fucker.”
Jordan chuckles and nods to me, “As much as I would like to claim responsibility for the fall of the king of Cherry Creek, he flipped his car all on his own.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Cason asks and then turns to me. “What is he talking about?”
I shake my head and the world starts spinning. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the wreck or just the thought there was a possibility I could’ve left everyone I love to fend for themselves. That I could fail them once again. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get out of here.”
I begin walking away.
“What the fuck dude? Where are you going?” Cason yells after me.
I just keep walking. I don’t let anyone stop me. I didn’t cause the wreck, did I? No, of course not. Something went wrong. I wouldn’t do that to my car; I’ve worked so hard on it. Besides, hurting myself wouldn’t help anything. And it definitely wouldn’t help Fallon.
I need another fucking drink. This time to not just numb the pain, but to numb my head. My heart.
I need to numb it all.
I left the Depot on foot, which is probably best considering the amount of vodka and scotch pumping through my veins. I’ve been seeing double as I walk down the road. I’ve been stumbling alone for a good hour now, maybe longer. Who knows? I don’t even know what time it is. I’ve been roaming the streets of Cherry Creek since I left the Depot.
My mind won’t stop racing. I’ll probably catch hell for leaving the game like that from Coach. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes the whole team do suicides for a week. As captain, that should probably bother me, but as Jesse, the guy who has let down everyone he’s ever cared about, it doesn’t. And now I have Cason and Jade to worry about. I walked off the scene of my car in shambles. I’m sure that whole scene isn’t going to go
