And, wouldn’t you fucking know, it was right then that my turn was up.
I was stupid. I’d made a mistake. It was something I couldn’t take back, something I regretted.
Whatever hope I had that Kelsey and I could maybe work—because after all, she’d started opening up to me, which had made me happier than I wanted to admit—was gone. This was payback for what I did; karma. This was fucking karma, and she’d be a raging bitch until I was on my knees.
I could never have Kelsey. Not really. Once she found out the truth, she’d drop me as fast as she could. I supposed I could tell Kelsey the truth, beat Dean to the punch and hope she wouldn’t react as I thought she would, but that would involve me being a good guy, and I think we all knew by now I wasn’t a good guy.
A good guy wouldn’t have picked up the broken shards of Mel’s heart and put them back together, only to shatter them into even more pieces when he dumped her. Right after fucking her, too.
Yeah. I wasn’t a good guy.
I was the worst.
Chapter Fourteen – Kelsey
Levi was nearly late to lab the next week, and I pretended not to care. Mostly I pretended that I didn’t care so I would start to believe it myself. The fact was, Levi was always on time, so when I walked into the room and saw that his chair was empty—the first class after we had sex—I couldn’t help but get a sinking feeling in my gut.
It was right as I was mentally scolding myself that Levi showed up, meeting my eyes almost instantly. I watched him hurry through the main aisle, sitting down beside me just as the professor strolled out of the backroom and got the projector going. We were going to learn about whatever experiment we would be doing this week. Fun stuff.
Not really, but whatever.
I eyed Levi up, refusing to focus on the warming in my lower gut. “You seem stressed, Blue,” I whispered, causing his azure stare to snap to me. He hadn’t shaved this morning, and I bet that stubble on his jaw would give me the worst kind of stubble burn.
What the hell was I thinking? Wasn’t I supposed to tell this guy what happened Friday night was a one-time thing? My vagina needed to get herself under control. Cool it before she lost it completely.
I was worried she already lost it.
Me.
I was worried I already lost it when it came to Levi.
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “Not my day, I guess.” He leaned forward, his mouth a thin line as he paid attention to the professor and the projector, even though it wasn’t fully booted up yet. This was not how he normally acted. Was this…was this him trying to tell me Friday meant nothing? Was this his way of brushing me off?
What. The. Flying. Fuck?
I said nothing else, silently fuming all throughout class. The moment we were done, I practically ran out of there. I didn't really run—that would’ve been calling too much attention to myself—but I did power walk. I could not stand to look at Levi’s brooding, pensive face anymore.
I wanted to punch him. I wanted to punch him so hard. I mean, what the fuck?
My feet were on the grass, cutting the shortest distance to the sidewalk that would lead me away from the science building, when I heard the bastard himself call out my name: “Kelsey, wait.”
I froze, knowing I should just keep going, knowing I shouldn’t give him the light of day. A tiny, miniscule part of me wondered if I was leaping to conclusions, but I didn’t care. I did not appreciate a hot and cold guy. That was yet another reason why I didn’t do relationships. Couldn’t take the ups and the downs. I much preferred a steady pace, a flat road as opposed to a roller coaster.
My back straightened, and I slowly turned. As other students filed out from the building’s side stairwell, I watched as Levi sauntered up to me, his backpack hanging loosely off his shoulder. He looked downright sexy, even a little haggard. He looked sexy even though he absolutely infuriated me.
“What?” I hissed, not bothering to try to hide the annoyance in my tone. “You finally want to talk to me now, lab partner, after ignoring me for almost an hour and a half?” I let out an ugly chuckle. “It’s more fun talking to a rock than you.”
“I—”
I stopped him by holding up a hand. I could hear my heart thumping in my chest, and I hated what I was about to say, but it needed to be said. This dickbag needed to know that he wasn’t going to be the one to tell me us hooking up meant nothing. I was.
“I don’t want to hear it,” I told him, dropping my hand to my side. We stood two feet apart on the grass, and yet it felt like miles. A huge space, so much distance. I didn’t really know Levi at all, and yet, what I was about to say, it kind of stung. “I don’t want to hear it because it doesn’t need to be said. Your dick didn’t magically put me on the Blue-train for pound-town. Not once did I ever think that what we did was more than what it was, okay? So you don’t need to worry about me being clingy or annoying or whatever—”
Okay, this talk went a lot smoother in my head. It also sounded a lot more badass in my head. Right now I just sounded pissed and wordy, not very badass.
This asshole needed to know that I could rip him a new
