Yeah. That baggage was too much for me.
The only room that wasn’t occupied was, of course, the bathroom. I was going to get my wish, to fuck a vampire, but I was going to do it in a bathroom. Ugh. Just my luck, I guessed.
“Come on,” I said, pulling him into the bathroom. “You up for a challenge? Have you ever fucked a girl in a bathroom before?”
“I’ve fucked girls everywhere,” he muttered, his voice broken and haggard. Was he maybe too drunk to perform? His dick was hard, but would he be able to cum? I mean, technically that wasn’t my problem, but you know, I’d fallen into the hole society had dug that said if a man didn’t cum, it technically wasn’t really sex.
Stupid.
But at least I knew this guy could talk.
Not that I wanted to hear his voice, but whatever.
Once we were both in the bathroom, I reached to yank the door shut. Him and I hardly fit in here, but we’d make it work. I reached into my back pocket, holding a condom wrapper between two fingers. One of the things I was trying to be better at. Trying to, being the operative words here.
I wasn’t so careful with Levi. We fucked wherever and whenever we could, and I—
No. No more about Levi. Levi was the last thing on my mind right now.
“Pull down your pants, big boy,” I told him, bringing the wrapper to my teeth and tearing open while gazing up at his emerald stare. His pupils were super dilated, and a part of me wondered if he wasn’t only drunk. Was this guy stoned too?
He was quick about it, tugging down his pants and his boxers and yanking the condom out of my hands, rolling it on like a pro.
Well, fuck. Too late to turn back now. If he was stoned out of his mind, he could still get it up and get it on, so…okay, then.
My eyes glanced down to his dick, and an uneasy feeling sank in my gut. I didn’t want to do this, not really. The brave face I’d put on before was just a show. This was me trying to prove to myself that Levi didn’t mean anything, that he hadn’t hurt me by what he did—because how could a man hurt me if I didn’t care about him?
But, as I turned and worked on my jeans, as I pulled down my pants and bared my ass to this stranger, I knew I was wrong. I’d lied to Ash, to myself, to Levi. I knew what I felt for Levi, and maybe that was the scariest thing.
Somewhere along the way, sometime during the drama, the lies and the truths, I’d fallen in love with him.
God damn it.
Chapter Thirty – Kelsey
The moment I felt him poke my entrance, I felt sick. Deep down I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but did it mean that my logic, that the little angel on my shoulder would win out? Fuck no. I was Kelsey Yates. This was what I did. I didn’t go falling in love left and right like some pathetic wimp.
My fingers gripped the edges of the vanity before me, and I couldn’t stare at the mirror resting on the wall opposite me above the sink. I didn’t want to see the guy’s face as he pushed into me from behind, didn’t want to know what he looked like when he was balls-deep inside of me.
How could I? He wasn’t Blue.
Oh, fuck. There was no taking back what I was doing, no redos or do-overs, but maybe that was for the best. Clearly Levi and I weren’t good together.
When the vampire dude filled me up, I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from groaning. It was hard to stay quiet though, especially when his thrusting grew harder, fiercer, rougher. His fingers gripped my sides, and I closed my eyes, wishing that everything was different.
Wishing that I wasn’t me, a complete fuckup.
Wishing that the guy behind me was Levi.
Wishing that things between us weren’t so damn complicated.
Alas, I was me, and the man behind me in the vampire cape wasn’t Levi. He might’ve had dark hair, but that was it. The resemblance ended there. Things were complicated, and now that his cock was already inside of me, I might as well try to enjoy it, right?
Easier said than done.
So I stopped biting my lower lip, quit trying to be quiet. Maybe if I lost myself to the sounds of our sex, to how it felt to be full, to the taboo of fucking a literal stranger, I’d start to feel that familiar burn in my lower gut, that aching need to be fucked raw. Groans left me, and the sounds of air escaping my lungs rose in the air, mingling with the grunts that left the man behind me. He might’ve been out of it, but he was strong, and he was still able to perform pretty damn well. If I wasn’t so much in my own head, I could definitely see losing myself in this moment.
Of course, Murphy’s Law dictated that that would be the exact second the door would fly open, and Ash would find us.
Yeah, yeah, I didn’t exactly tell her where I was going, but it was a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t need her judgment, the way her lips frowned and her mouth fell ajar. I didn’t need Ash’s presence to know I was fucking up.
God, I really hated myself right now.
Ash said nothing, only staring at us,
