“Shay has requested some space today,” River told me. “Because of the circumstances, our intentions, and because he sees the role he’s played in all this, he’s agreed not to go anywhere and base any decisions on anger. But we won’t bother him today—we’ll let him process things.”
I nodded, and something loosened in my chest. He was staying. “Of course.”
“Wait,” Shay said abruptly. “I wanna buy smokes.”
“I already did that—begrudgingly,” I replied. “I picked up some tees, sweats, and briefs in your size too, in hopes you’d either stay or want to keep some clothes at our place. And those potato chips you like. And, uh, a whole bucket of lollipops.”
I’d spent more time choosing lollipops than the clothes. But he’d admitted to replacing smokes with lollipops, so obviously that was my priority.
River directed a smirk out the window.
“Okay,” Shay responded, frustrated, “but I’m paying for it.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes. I. Am,” he gritted out.
“Reese,” River warned.
“I didn’t save the receipts!” I defended. “But fine, if you wanna pay…fine. Everything was a buck.”
“I swear to Christ,” Shay growled.
“And ninety-nine cents,” I coughed. “Plus tax.”
I felt for him. I could be a menace, and I didn’t see that stopping. He slumped back with a frustrated snarl and palmed his face.
Ten
Shay Acton
What the hell were they doing out there?
With an annoyed huff, I left the single bed and walked toward the window. Reese and River’s bed called to me, but I wasn’t going there. Not tonight. I had to take a stand, dammit. They’d fucking played me.
I peered out the window and folded my arms over my chest. Night owls was putting it mildly. It was two in the morning, and the music blaring out from the main house was loud. River and Reese weren’t alone. A dozen or so people had come and gone over the day, and those who’d arrived shortly after we’d had dinner were here to stay the night. River had mentioned a sub named Tate, whom I’d met briefly before. He was at munches sometimes and knew Cam pretty well.
That redheaded Domme, Penelope, was out there too. I could hear her laughter. She’d arrived after I’d said I was going to bed around ten.
Two other people I didn’t know were in the pool.
I wondered if the twins had told Penelope that the secrecy was over and if she’d driven down here because of it. All the founders had played their part in this. They’d known the gist of River and Reese’s plan to lure me here to Mclean. Penelope had even sent her ex-girlfriend Isela to convince me.
The betrayal stung as I returned to the subbie bed and sat down on the edge of it, but at some point, I had to swallow my pride and admit I wasn’t as angry as I’d portrayed. I was, for the most part, uncomfortable and bewildered. For one, I didn’t understand why these strangers cared so much. River and Reese may not be strangers anymore, but they had been when they’d made the decision to try to help me. For two, I didn’t know how to handle that aforementioned display of care and concern.
Which made me wonder if I’d punished myself enough these past two years, since I clearly didn’t accept help very well. Or see the help coming. The entire concept had become so strange to me. Because since the night I lost my parents and sister, I’d existed to be there for my brothers.
It was ultimately why I was still out here with River and Reese. I’d alienated myself and was sick and tired of it, and I wanted them to tell me enough was enough. Yet, I kept punishing myself—even right now, by being up here in the bedroom rather than out there with the two men who’d made me feel more alive than anyone else in two years.
I blew out a breath and scrubbed my hands over my face.
I felt like a fucking child. River had made it clear to me that everything that’d happened since I’d arrived here had been genuine. They’d been open about their intentions and honest about how they thought we clicked well. Reese had mentioned a kink relationship more than once.
Me, on the other hand? I’d come willingly while pretending to be kicking and screaming. I’d protested against what I wanted so goddamn badly. I’d claimed not to want anything with them that went beyond this week, at the same time as I’d dived headfirst into the middle spot of their bed.
I’d contradicted myself the whole motherfucking time I’d been here.
Enough.
I swallowed and reached for the shopping bag Reese had left on the dresser by their bed earlier. I’d moved it to the single bed, as my juvenile statement of not spending another night between two Tenleys.
I found two pairs of sweatpants, similar to the ones Reese had several of, except these were a couple sizes smaller.
They fit.
As I stood there and tightened the drawstrings, I contemplated checking out the two T-shirts he’d picked up too, but it was still hot outside. I did open the big container of lollipops, though. I stuck a Coke-flavored one into my mouth, then drew the sweats up past my calves before I pushed down my nerves and descended the stairs.
Reese and River had lied to me. They’d schemed and deceived—with good intentions. Then they’d come clean and apologized for the hurt they’d caused, even though it’d been followed by a firm, brief declaration that they had no regrets. They’d do it again.
I had lied too, without any intentions whatsoever. Well, beyond me getting punished. But I hadn’t apologized yet, nor had I explained myself.
I’d do it tomorrow. Tonight I needed to reconnect.
I skipped shoes altogether and left the cabin.
River must’ve heard me closing the door over the music, because he glanced over immediately.
