“I don’t need an escort,” I said sharply, though it was just a show for the others.
“Well I’m not asking, I’m telling,” Monroe growled and despite it being an act, I kinda liked his bossy tone. Tingles. “Let’s go.”
I huffed, heading to the door and pulling on a coat over my cream sweater, kicking on my boots before heading outside.
Monroe followed me and we didn’t speak a word to each other until we were a hundred feet away from The Temple.
“We need to up our game,” I said in frustration.
He sighed, clawing a hand through his hair and I couldn’t help but perve over his muscular bicep as I glanced his way.
“It’s not that simple, I didn’t realise how bad things were. I didn’t know they treated you so…” He grunted in anger, kicking a rock on the path and sending it shooting away into the bushes like it had offended his manhood.
“I can take it,” I said firmly. “I was always going to get punished for fighting back, I knew that when I started down this road.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want you to deal with that,” he muttered, unable to look at me as my gaze burned into the side of his head.
“Nash, please,” I breathed, my voice full of desperation.
He still didn’t look at me, his fingers still knotted in his hair and I reached out to touch him. He finally looked at me as he dropped his arm, the two of us falling still on the quiet path as darkness cloaked the world beyond the single lantern illuminating us. His features pinched in anger, but softened as I frowned.
“No,” he rasped. “I want to hurt them, but I won’t let you sacrifice yourself for revenge.”
“It’s not up to you,” I hissed, stepping closer to him and breathing in his scent of pine and safety. What I wouldn’t give to run away with him tonight, to slip out of the chains binding me and fall into the promise in his eyes that said he would always protect me. But I couldn’t do that. And neither could he. We were bound by the Night Keepers, joined in our ache for vengeance. Neither of us would ever be content until we got it. So we had to keep marching down this dangerous trail and face the consequences of that choice.
Monroe reached out, grazing a thumb over my cheek, a V forming between his eyes. “It’s not in my nature to let you.”
“It’s not a request.” I batted his hand away. “You’re supposed to be helping me destroy them. Don’t you want that?”
“Of course I do,” he said fiercely and I knew I shouldn’t have questioned him. He had more reason to hate Saint than I did. “But I didn’t realise I’d have to watch them hurt you every time you step a toe out of line. It’s torture.”
He ripped his eyes away from me and my heart clenched in my chest. Monroe cared about me, maybe more than I gave him credit for. And I could understand it. It would have been torture for me to watch him hurt too. But this was the only way we were going to destroy them.
“I’m going to do what I have to, Nash,” I said, starting to walk again and he followed like my shadow. “If you can’t stomach it then I’ll do it alone.”
“If it was my blood they drew in punishment, I wouldn’t give a fuck,” he snarled. “But it’s not, it’s yours. And you’re far more precious than me Tatum. They’ve already taken enough from you, I won’t see them take more.”
“And what if I want to give myself to this?” I tossed at him, ignoring the squeeze in my belly at his sweet words. “Did you ever consider that I’m as willing as you to suffer for my revenge? I would give anything for it. And I’m insulted that you think I’m not strong enough to weather their punishments.”
“Of course you’re strong enough, princess,” he said, his voice dipped in velvet and making my anger rush away as quickly as it had arrived. “But I can’t stand to see you tormented by them.”
We reached the library and I turned to him, the two of us halting under the stone archway that led into the courtyard before the huge, gothic building. “Then don’t watch.”
Emotion flared in his eyes but I didn’t stay to absorb it, spinning around and heading away from him along the path. I pushed through the huge wooden door, glancing back and finding him still standing beneath the arch in darkness. My guardian angel cast in shadow.
I swallowed the sharp lump in my throat, slipping inside, the warm amber glow of the place making my shoulders relax. I loved it here. My demons couldn’t follow me into this space with its endless wooden bookshelves, low oak beams, hidden corners and winding aisles that made me feel like I was lost in a beautiful maze, never to be found by my captors again.
I wound through the stacks, taking my time as I breathed in the scent of old books and leather bindings. At the far end of the building was a large window which overlooked the lake with a circular table before it. This was where I came daily to study and a few of the Unspeakables were there already.
“Hey,” I said as I approached and Deepthroat smiled while Squits, Freeloader and Pigs waved shyly. Pigs was the latest member to show up regularly to our daily meetings. None of them would talk about what they’d done, but I always liked to try and guess. Although Pigs was kind of chubby, I couldn’t imagine that was a reason for the Night Keepers to cast him out of society. He
