“She has to pay,” I hissed between coughing fits.
“Not today,” Blake said firmly.
“Not today,” Kyan agreed. Like I couldn’t be trusted. Like they valued that fucking girl over me despite the years we’d spent together.
I snarled at them as I rolled over and threw Kyan’s arm off of me through pure force of will as I scrambled to my feet.
The burn on my hand had been eased by my dip in the lake, but it was still angry and red like the wound she’d carved into my soul.
I hunted the beach for Tatum Rivers and her fucking bodyguard, Monroe, who’d chosen to shield her from me alongside the others but they were nowhere to be seen. Though there were only so many places that they could be and all I had to do was pick which destination to begin my hunt. I’d find them eventually. And when I did, my vengeance would be beyond sweet, but it wouldn’t soothe the pain of what she’d taken from me.
“We’re going back to The Temple,” Blake said fiercely as he moved to stand at my side.
“You’re not in control right now,” Kyan said as he stepped up on my other side, his eyes dark with intent and promising violence. “You need to go back and reclaim yourself, brother.”
“Fuck you,” I spat, storming away from the two of them. They always acted like they knew what it was to be haunted by my demons, but they didn’t. They had no fucking idea. Not even the slightest clue about the things I’d survived. About what it had taken to form the kind of strength I could claim. I’d been sculpted and grown into the monster I was. I was ruthless and callous and vicious in all the right ways and all it had cost me was my soul. But who needed a fucking soul anyway? Who needed to want and hurt and care? Not me. And certainly not my demon.
I strode up the beach, coughing again as more water forced its way up out of my lungs and the sopping wet material of my sweatpants clung to my thighs.
“When I find her, I’m going to give her a real lesson,” I hissed. “Just like the ones I was given by my father. And then she’ll realise exactly how easy I’ve been on her. Then she’ll see how kind I’ve been up until now. Then she’ll find out exactly what it takes to break someone and carve something new, better, stronger out of the dregs that remain.”
“No you won’t,” Blake snapped. “Because I won’t fucking let you.”
“Neither will I,” Kyan added in a deadly tone.
I twisted toward them in my rage, wanting to make them bleed for their betrayal. “So that’s it? You’re siding with her after what she’s done? You’re breaking our bond for the sake of a girl who didn’t take our oath seriously, who fights against the bond she agreed to time and again?”
“When she made that oath, I agreed to make her mine,” Kyan snarled. “And that means I’ll protect her from anything that threatens to hurt her. Even if that thing is you.”
I started laughing, this insane, maniacal cackle that tore from my aching lungs and wouldn’t fucking quit.
“Where are your fucking lines, asshole?” I gasped. “Tying her up and leaving her there while we go to practice is okay, but unleashing my wrath on her crosses some kind of fucking barrier for you?”
“She knew she was making her bed with monsters when she chose to lie in it,” he replied steadily. “And the punishments we give her might be fucked up, but they never really hurt her. The mood you’re in now, I’m not convinced you can control yourself and I won’t let you do something you can’t come back from.”
“Hurt her?” I scoffed. They fucking knew I’d never raise a hand to that girl in violence. “What do you think I’m going to do? Take her out and flog her?”
“Worse,” Blake growled. “You’re threatening to punish her the way you used to be punished. And we’re not going to let you do that to her. Or yourself. When you come to your senses again, you’d hate yourself even more thoroughly than you already do.”
I turned away from them and their fucking accusations and roared my rage to the wind which howled around us. It whipped the tortured fragments of my soul away on a heavy breeze and I wasn’t sure I’d ever really reclaim them again.
I took off through the trees and the others followed me like predators tracking the scent of blood on the air.
It’s too late.
It’s never too late.
Hunt her down.
Leave her.
Make her pay.
I’m the one who deserves to pay.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
They were right. I was losing my shit. Peeling apart at the seams. Those wounds which I stitched together so carefully were breaking open and bleeding all over my soul.
I had to find a way to get them to scab over again before I bled out, and hurting Tatum Rivers would only make my death come swifter.
I didn’t bother with the paths, carving through the trees regardless of the thorny bushes which caught and bit at my skin, scratching my flesh and making real blood spill. I didn’t care. I just needed to get back. To do something to smother this rage. To dampen it enough for my thoughts to come together cohesively so that I could deal with this rationally.
We reached The Temple and I threw the door open so hard that the heavy wood slammed against the brick wall and a tremendous bang echoed through the space.
“We stick to the schedule,” I said firmly, glaring at Blake and Kyan in turn. Tonight, Tatum was due to sleep in with me and I refused
