Talking to a professional one on one can help you see things you may not have considered and, with patience, might help to turn things around. Sometimes we have to try a few different therapists before we find the one who is right for us, so don’t be afraid to keep trying until you find someone who can give you the time and care you deserve.
There’s still a lot of stigma around mental ill-health. But what I know is that, since my breakdown, recovery is not only possible, so is living an amazing life; the one I had always hoped for.
Unlike when I was a child, there are now so many different forms of help out there. If you are a sensitive type, or someone who doesn’t really like talking so much, you don’t have to. Yes, there are talk therapists but there are also art therapists, music therapists, and even equine (horse) therapists. (Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!)
If, from reading my story, you have even the slightest interest in having a chat with someone about how you’re going, know that there are many humans out there who might just become your ticking clock in the storm, the bridge to your FAFL or FOF, the very thing that might give you permission to tell your Frank to fuck right off! The journey might be easier than you think and, in some moments, it might also be tougher but, I give you my word, it is well worth it.
If you are interested, here are some places to start. Some of the options won’t cost you a thing:
General practitioner: A GP can potentially provide you with a referral to see a psychologist (or relevant health professional), along with a mental health care plan. The government currently gives you a certain number of psychological sessions with a Medicare rebate under the care plan.
Find a psychologist: A portal to find a psychologist near you. Australian psychological association: https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist
Headspace: If you are a young person (twelve to twenty-five years old) you can book an appointment, free of charge: https://headspace.org.au/young-people/how-headspace-can-help/
eHeadspace: Online free support if you are a young person aged twelve to twenty-five years old: https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/
Lifeline: Crisis support and suicide prevention. Telephone counsellors who are available to help anonymously. Phone 13 11 14.
Further resources
Websites
Beyond blue—support in relation to anxiety or depression: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
The Butterfly Foundation—support for eating disorders: https://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/
Black Dog Institute—support for mental ill-health: https://blackdoginstitute.org.au
Books
Self Help for Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes, Sydney: Angus & Robertson, 1962.
The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino (translated by Archibald Colquhoun), New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1977.
Dark Nights of the Soul: A guide to finding your way through life’s ordeals by Thomas Moore, New York: Gotham Books, 2004.
First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A new journey through anxiety by Sarah Wilson, Sydney: Pan Macmillan, 2017.
Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick, Melbourne: William Heinemann, 1991.
Life Without Ed: How one woman declared independence from her eating disorder and how you can too by Jenni Schaefer with Thom Rutledge, New York: McGraw-Hill, 2004.
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, London: Egmont, ©1944, 2005.
The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge, New York: Puffin Books, 2001.
Mental: Everything you never knew you needed to know about mental health by Dr Steve Ellen and Catherine Deveny, Melbourne: Black Inc. 2018.
A Path with Heart: A guide through the perils and promises of spiritual life by Dr Jack Kornfield, New York: Bantam Books, 1993.
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, New York: A.A. Knopf, 1923.
Radical Acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach, New York: Bantam Books, 2003.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle, New York: Collins Publishers, 1979.
When Things Fall Apart: Heart advice for difficult times by Pema Chodron, Boulder, Colorado: Shambhala, 2016.
The Woman Who Cracked the Anxiety Code: The extraordinary life of Claire Weekes by Judith Hoare, Melbourne: Scribe, 2019.
Fun stuff for you
Sometimes, we just need more fun stuff in our lives, which is why if you’re ever in the mood to:
– bake my mother’s world-famous Dutch Apple Tart
– learn how to make the very best cup of tea that ever existed
– listen to a full playlist of all the original songs mentioned in this book
– see childhood pictures of me, and Marty, and our children, and our pets
– download a comprehensive list of my dad’s favourite campfire songs
– or the secret recipe for his famous Jam Pizza
– learn a very simple method to play fifty great songs on guitar
– or ukulele(!)
– or how to sing (especially for people who don’t think they can sing)
then, I have just the place! It’s my place: clarebowditch.com
Just go to the menu tab called ‘Fun stuff’—it’s all there waiting for you, with love.
CB xo
Acknowledgements
If you’re still not sure whether or not you too have a Frank inside you, one way to find out for sure is to try writing a book. My friends warned me it would be hard, but I found it … quite hard. At a couple of points, I even wondered whether—twenty years from now—I might have cause to write a second book about the breakdown brought on by the writing of this first one! Fortunately, I made it out the other end of the tube in one piece, which is thanks only to the extraordinary love, skill and generosity of the following coterie of most excellent human beings.
My gutsy and brilliant publisher Kelly Fagan—how fortunate this book is to have found you, and how proud I am to have worked with you and the good people of Allen & Unwin on this baby of ours. Your love is patient and kind and fierce, and the good news is that we did it, and I
