My editors Ali Lavau and Christa Munns—for your skill, grace and resilience in the face of the truly monumental task put before you. There are no words, except that I am so sorry, and thank you.
For the powerful publicity charm of both Louise Cornegé (Allen & Unwin) and Dina Kluska (Pitch Projects), you are an absolute dream team.
Pippa Masson and all the Curtis Brown team—your early, passionate and unwavering encouragement is the true reason this book found land.
Anna Robinson for capturing the photographs on both the front and the inside cover of this book, taken over three decades apart. You are absolutely brilliant.
Lisa White—thank you for the fabulous cover design.
Dr Charlotte Keating for your generous contribution to the closing letter.
This work was written over several years with thanks to the hospitality and fellowship of the following: Mossy Willow Farm, Varuna (The Writers’ House), Jacky Winter Gardens. Thank you for giving these words a place to arrange themselves.
For your early, passionate and open-ended support of this little baby manuscript, and the wise counsel you offered about what to do with such a thing, very special thanks to the friends who have saved my life in one way or another: Defah Dattner, Libby and Madeleine Chow, Tom from the Catweazle Club, Cath who introduced me to Dr Claire Weekes, Jessie Neath, Anna Olijnyk, Jill French, Elisha Warren, Lynette Andrews, Aurora Kurth, Jessie Neave, Monique diMattina, Berry Liberman, Kirsty Argyle, Adrian Holmes, Emily Lubitz, Danielle Caruana, to John Patrick Hedigan and all who loved him (you know who you are)—you have cared for me, and about me, and given me something worth passing on. Thank you.
For your early support, excellent writing, encouraging words and wise counsel: thank you dear Foong Ling Kong, Tara Moss, Zoe Dattner, Peggy Frew, Bernard Fanning, Danielle LaPorte, Kemi Nekvapil, Catherine Deveny, Liz Adams, my Compost Writers’ Club, Sally Rippin, Rachel Power, Em Rusciano, Dr Susan Carland, Zoë Foster Blake, Joanna Murray-Smith, Joanne Woods, Carly Findlay, Joel Naoum, Holly Ringland, Sarah Wilson, Christos Tsiolkas, Heather Rose, Rhonda Hetzel, Paul Demspey, The Women of Letters, and Jamila Rizvi.
Jamila Rizvi—you have been the dear friend and cheerleader this book, and I, needed. At this book’s messiest, most impossible moments, you showed up—baking treats, dropping off care packages, acting as a third editor, and telling me that this work mattered and I was going to finish it whether I wanted to or not. I could not have done this without your 100% all-hands-on-deck love and support—thank you.
To my curious therapists, all of whom remain unnamed or disguised in some way—I couldn’t have got here without you. Thank you!
To the brilliant booksellers I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with over these many years while stalking your bookshelves and imaging that I might one day be brave enough to write a book myself—thank you for your patience, your excellent recommendations and the many hours of joy.
For allowing me to write in your quiet houses and empty offices: Berry and Danny, Lorena and Stephen, Jo and Bevan, Sue and John, and Christine Kenneally. To all in the north-side ’hood who kept us and our children fed, sheltered and entertained during the more gruelling portions of the writing of this book—thank you. With special mention of dear Cindee and Martin, who illustrate again and again exactly how it is that good neighbours become good friends.
For their extraordinarily generous and thoughtful words:
Annabel Crabb
Bernard Fanning
Clementine Ford
Peggy Frew
Missy Higgins
Dr Charlotte Keating
Danielle LaPorte
Professor Pat McGorry
Kate Miller-Heidke
Eddie Perfect
Jamila Rizvi
Leigh Sales
Kat Stewart
To our big-hearted audiences, both at live shows and during my years broadcasting on ABC Radio Melbourne—you have sustained me and my family all of these years, and we could never have got here without you. Thank you for showing up for Big Hearted Business, Sing Song Showtime, Tea with Jam and Clare, and all of our live shows. Honestly—thank you. A most especially special thanks to Greg, Lesley and dear Kerrie who always seem to be there right when we need them!
Thank you to Universal Music, Island Records and Mushroom Publishing for your patience as I’ve written this book (the album is nigh, I promise!).
To the dear musicians I’ve had the honour of performing and sharing friendships with over the decades—from my teenage years until today. You have meant, and continue to mean, the world to me. (How good is our job!)
To our second families from over the years—the Dattners, the Lubitzes, the Whites, the Freemans, the Andersons, the Andrews, the Sherlocks, the Warrens, and to everyone at the RCH who loved and cared for Rowena—thank you.
To the Francis family in Sandy who so generously invited us back into that gorgeous home with the warm tiled floors—thank you.
To Marty’s dear family—with special thanks to Jenny Cacic for all the babysitting, Chris and Kellie for all the family roasts, and Sam Brown for ‘getting it’.
To our nieces, nephews and precious god-children who inspired me to tell this story boldly—thank you.
And to my mother Marianna, my late father Ian, my brother James, and sisters Anna, Lisa and our darling Rowena—thank you for being the kind of family who, if I had been given a choice in the matter, I would have chosen, lickety-split. For your love, generosity and support in the writing of this book, and for all the years before that, I cannot thank you enough, but plan to show you every time I see you.
And, finally, to the ones who lived with me through the writing of this book—my beloved Marty, Asha, Elijah and Oscar. I wish every first-time writer had housemates like you guys. Your pep talks, back rubs, cups of tea, ‘rocket-ships’ and just good old-fashioned love have been the balm this lady needed. Thank you, sweethearts.
