I catch myself staring at him when he’s not looking. And I hang onto every word Des says whenever he mentions Rafael. How he’s doing. Where he’s at. What they’re eating for lunch. It’s borderline obsessive and I know it, but I’m desperate to know every little detail.
Zheng has mentioned him a few times, too, which was surprising at first. He’s always made it clear how he feels about Rafael. I know they have history, and while I’m curious, I also know it’s none of my business. But even he’s tried to convince me to talk to Rafael. To at least hear him out. He thinks it’d be cathartic for me. And maybe it would be. But….
“Hey, Isa?” A hesitant voice calls out and I turn away from my locker to find Jordy standing a few feet away. He mashes his lips together, his eyes on the ground near my feet. “You doing okay?”
“Hey. Umm, yeah. How are you?” I glance around the hallway, class will be starting soon.
He shrugs and looks up, giving me a small smile. “I’m good. I, uh…” He trails off and looks away. “I wanted to try something. If you’re okay with it?”
I nod and brace myself.
Jordy takes a step closer before dropping to his knees. He turns his head to the side exposing his neck. What?
My throat tightens. “What are you doing?” I hiss.
“I yield to you.” He grinds out and I can tell it’s taking everything in him to do this. To submit like this and in a crowded hallway full of witnesses no less.
“You’re important. If your wolf needs to hold power over me for you to feel safe. I’m okay with that.”
I cover my mouth with my hand. “Jordy—”
“Do it.”
I swallow and nod. “You’re sure?”
His nostrils flare and he gives me one sharp nod. Calling on my wolf, her vision fills my gaze, sharpening my surroundings. Jordy’s wolf responds and I watch his eyes flash with silver.
I take a tentative step forward. When my heartbeat stays steady, I take another. Emotions clog my throat and I take another step.
Jordy bites his upper lip, his eyes anxious as he waits for me to close the last bit of distance between us. When I do, I reach out and place a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t move. My fingers curl, my grip tightening, and he remains immobile, his gaze locked on the ground by my feet.
We hold that position for several tense seconds until my wolf recedes, satisfied he poses no direct challenge.
I take a step back and he bends at the waist sucking in a deep breath before jumping to his feet. His eyes meet mine for the briefest of seconds and then he’s pulling me into a gentle embrace. When I don’t object, his arms wrap around me and I breathe in the smell of him. Burnt cedar and caramel. His embrace tightens for a split second and I stiffen but he’s quick to release me, taking a single step back. “I missed you, vanilla.”
“I missed you, too.”
He winks. “So, uh, you maybe wanna—” His eyes flick to someone over my shoulder, and I turn to find Rafael standing just outside the door leading to our first-period class.
“He misses you, too,” Jordy says behind me.
I shake my head. “I can’t fix that Jordy. Rafe and I,” I brush my hair out of my face and give him a tight-lipped smile. “We were just each other’s way to pass some time. We both said as much from the beginning. A happy ever after was never in the cards. It’s time to move on.”
“Do you really believe that?” he asks.
I shrug. “Yes. I don’t know. Maybe. It doesn’t matter now.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve known Rafael almost my entire life. I’m closer with him than I am my own brothers. He’s not the best at showing how he feels, but he cares about you, Isa. A lot. I don’t want to push you. You’ve been through enough but just … don’t write him off yet, okay?”
I bit my bottom lip and look away. “I don’t think I can afford to care about him any more than I already do. It hurts—”
“I know, sweetheart. I know. But I think Rafe can make you happy. You deserve to be happy.”
40 Rafael
I watch Isa with Jordy and jealousy hits me like an oncoming train.
She takes his hands and rather than retreating, she steps closer to him. Reaches out and touches him.
Desmond slaps a hand on my shoulder and my gaze jerks toward him. “You need to fix this.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
I tug away from him. “She’s letting everyone else in but me.” Even I hear the bitterness in my voice. The second I see Jordy pull her into a hug, I see red. I want to punch the fucker in the face, to hell if he’s one of my best friends.
“I know this hurts, man—”
“Hurts?!” I turn to him, eyes wide and a sneer on my lips. “You think this hurts? Fuck you. I wish all it did was hurt. This shit right here”—I wave in their direction—“it fucking guts me. My girl won’t talk to me. Won’t look at me. Almost die—”
Desmond grabs me and shoves me inside an empty classroom. “Keep your goddamn voice down,” he whisper-shouts.
I’m shaking my head, hands already forming fists. I need to hit something. Or someone. I need to funnel all of whatever it is that I’m feeling into something or I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.
Des gets in my face and it takes everything in me not to draw back and hit my best friend.
“This sucks. You’re pissed off because you know you fucked up. You had a good thing going and she got hurt.” I open my mouth, but he cuts me off. “But you’re still not
