“Wow.” He cleared his throat. Sighed. “This is kind of crazy, right? Just getting a call out of the blue. Hey, by the way, your ex is pregnant.”
“I know. I’m sorry if it’s a bad time—”
“Actually, it kind of is. I’m, uh . . . I have to process this. I’ll get back to you when I know where my head’s at, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You’re still at Bridgeport for the summer?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll leave a message with the office when I’m ready to talk more.”
“I’ll be here.”
And, just like that, he was off the line. I slammed the receiver down.
“Why didn’t I stop things that night!” I sobbed. “He says he has to process. He had to know I was calling for some support. He probably won’t even call me back. I mean, can I blame him?”
“Hey,” Carter said softly, pulling me toward him and wrapping his strong arms around me.
His hypnotic ocean scent filled my senses again, and I could picture myself getting lost at sea, just letting the waves take me wherever they wanted to.
“Mom’s going to kill me, Kel’s gonna die of embarrassment, and I haven’t talked to Dad in forever. Pastor Gregg’ll fire me when he finds out. And the lease ended on my apartment last month and my mom’s supposed to cosign on a new place. When she finds out I’m pregnant. . . she’ll never sign.”
“You’re not alone in this, cowgirl. You have me. You have God. And you still don’t know how it’ll all pan out. Take it a day at a time.”
I probably shouldn’t let Carter try and comfort me, but I rested my cheek against his chest anyway, the warmth from his body and the strength in his grip lessening the pain as the seconds passed.
“Ren will hate me after this.”
“No, he won’t.” His chin rested on top of my head, one of his hands running circles across my back, quieting some of my doubt. “He’s probably in some shock right now, but he’ll come around. If he’s half the guy you deserve, he’ll ask for another chance.”
Carter’s breaths pulsed warmth over my scalp, his heart beating hard beneath my ear. Being in the arms of a soldier made me feel safe, reminded me of being a little girl, and Dad chasing away the monsters in my closet and holding me close.
We were three days in, and Carter was already becoming my closest friend at Bridgeport.
“I used to hold Megs like this when I had to leave to go on tour overseas. She couldn’t sleep the whole week before. She’d get all panicked in the middle of the night. Wake up shivering. Start crying because she thought she’d lose me. I’d remind her . . .” He sighed. “I’d remind her that we have a God big enough to speak our being into existence, and He’d take care of her if anything ever happened to me.” He took a deep breath. “I never thought she’d be the one to go, though.” He tensed and trailed off, clearing his throat. “What I’m trying to say is, He’ll take care of you, Lauren. Whatever happens with your ex is secondary.”
I wished I was Megan. Even if it was just for a minute.
“Did it help? When you held your wife?”
“Usually she’d fall asleep in my arms and I’d hold her the whole night through. Anytime she’d start stirring, I’d kiss her head and tell her I was still there . . .”
His voice was a rasp, and it triggered a new pain in my chest, an ache to have what she had. A guy like Carter, who’d be there for me no matter what.
I sniffed, trying to find my own voice and he tightened his grip again. “It’ll work out, one way or another.”
Maybe he was right.
Maybe Ren would want to be in it with me.
Maybe we really could find a new path to love.
Maybe we could build a love like Megan and Carter’s.
I drew a deep breath and released it, taking a step back, missing Carter’s warmth the second I did. I wiped my eyes and swallowed. “Thanks, Carter. You being here helped so much.”
Carter glanced over at the phones and scowled.
“You keep me posted on how you’re doing, all right? I don’t want you feeling alone up here. That’s an order, recruit.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” I said.
He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling and making my heart melt.
“You’re not alone either, Carter,” I added. “If you need anything from me, even if it’s just coffee, I’m here.”
“Want to hang out again after work tomorrow?”
“Totally.”
“I have a check-in with Pastor Gregg before dinner, but we could figure something out after?”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you then.”
Nine
-CARTER-
The ancient screen door squeaked shut behind me as I left Pastor Gregg’s house. Sweat pricked at the base of my skull and it had nothing to do with the mild evening climate. Maybe it was too late to do the exposure therapy Pastor Gregg had ordered. But, judging by the shadows, there was still a solid two hours left of daylight. Maybe Lauren would do the walk with me—we were supposed to hang out anyway. I hated feeling like a coward, but being around her made me feel . . . better. Plus, two soldiers were always stronger than one.
I went to the staffer cafeteria and spotted Lauren sitting between June and Hailey. Lauren’s hair was up in a sleek bun, hoop earrings big enough to stick my hand through dangling from her ears. She was wearing some fluttery, light pink shirt that draped off her narrow shoulders and highlighted her olive complexion. Her makeup was as heavy as the day I’d met her.
Lauren waved when she saw me. Saying something to her friends, she stood with her tray and came to meet me. Her shirt was tucked into her cutoff jean shorts that were probably pushing staff dress code specs. I tore my eyes away from those long toned legs and focused on her face. Her brows were thicker today
