“How sweet. Just, sitting here, looking out over the lake, having long talks.”
He inhaled deeply through his nose, opening his eyes as he let it out.
“I’m here.” I touched his arm. “You’re not alone.”
He cleared his throat and patted his chest a couple times.
“Thank you.” His free hand covered mine, squeezing once before he let go. Carter turned back to the trail. “Let’s keep going. Failure’s not an option.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” I said.
Ten
-CARTER-
My legs were my platoon, I was the commanding officer, and right now, all I had to do was keep them moving. One step in front of the other, and before long, we’d be around this dang lake, and I’d be done remembering.
Lauren’s voice rambled beside me, telling animated stories from the past few weeks, but I couldn’t concentrate beyond the pounding in my ears, and the turmoil in my chest, and the intense urge to puke. I broke out in a cold sweat at each stop, but I forced myself to relive the memories anyway. Lauren stood right beside me, listening like it meant the difference between life and death. Every now and then, she’d set a gentle hand on my arm, run her palm across my back, or lean her head on my shoulder.
Every touch burned across my skin and brought me back to reality, reminding me I wasn’t alone. She was a champ. And, yeah, I’d helped her with her Ren problem, but I was positive that her helping me with this wasn’t an even trade.
At the final turn on the trail, I picked up the pace, more than ready to get this whole thing over with.
“Slow down, turbo,” Lauren said, between heavy breaths. “I don’t want to fall.”
I didn’t miss the way her voice pitched higher on the final word—like she was as nervous as I felt doing this whole thing. But she didn’t have a reason to be nervous. I glanced at her over my shoulder. She was picking her way across a rocky section of the path. She took a timid step, testing a large stone with the tip of her boot before setting her weight on it. One hand covered her stomach.
Man. In all my agonizing, I forgot she was pregnant. “Sorry. Here. Let me help.”
She gripped my hand, her palm soft and warm. A charge of heat ran between us I wasn’t expecting.
She made it across and grinned. “Thanks, soldier.”
“Marine,” I corrected, but I couldn’t help but grin back.
“Ready for the last part?” A large boulder, jutting into the lake, blocked the trail completely up ahead. “If I’m going to do this memory walk justice, we have to keep going.”
Lauren threaded her fingers through mine, and that flash of heat returned.
“You’re not alone. Copy?”
“Roger that, cowgirl.” I ran my thumb across her knuckles and blew another breath. “Last lake memory, then it’s the ropes course.”
“Let’s do it.”
-LAUREN-
“What happened here?” I asked.
Carter was staring hard at the boulder we’d just climbed over.
“She brought her guitar with us one time. We sat here together.” Carter stroked the boulder gently. “She played her heart out. The girl was incredible at everything that had to do with music, and she loved to worship. That’s what she did. Right here, with me beside her, this big football kid who didn’t have a clue about life.”
He shook his head and released my hand, studying the rock—like, if he looked hard enough, she’d appear.
I didn’t want her to.
“She taught me so much about God. I think it’s why I can’t talk to Him like I used to. Every time I try, I remember how she used to always be on her knees beside me. But she’s not anymore. She won’t ever be.”
I nodded. My fingers felt cold and empty now. I clenched them into a fist. When I’d slid my hand into his earlier, I thought it would help keep him from feeling so alone. I didn’t realize it would turn my legs to Jello and ignite all the boy-crazy flutters I used to get in high school. It totally did. But this wasn’t high school. He was still stuck on his wife, and I needed to figure things out with Ren.
“How’d you meet Megan?”
He swallowed and took another deep breath. “Ropes course.”
“Are you ready for that?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go before dark hits.”
This memory walk was totally brutal for Carter, but it wasn’t easy for me. To see someone as strong as him breaking down wasn’t fun. Not that fun was the goal. But I wasn’t the sit-around-and-watch-someone-suffer type. He needed another distraction.
“The lake’s done, Carter. That’s huge. Maybe we could find something fun to do together instead of the ropes course?”
Something that can numb both our heartaches.
Carter gazed down at me for what felt like forever before he nodded. He set his hand on the small of my back as he came to my side. “Sounds good. And thanks. Helps having someone with me.”
“Maybe Tucker can do the ropes course with you tomorrow.”
Carter chuckled. “Tucker wasn’t happy about me spending time with you.”
I tensed. “You didn’t tell him about me, right?”
“What kind of marine do you think I am? I swore my secrecy. I have your back, Lauren. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Thinking of Tucker hurt. Of all my exes, he was the closest to perfection that existed. But he’d had family problems last summer, and when he started getting distant, I broke things off. I couldn’t handle the thought that he was over me. Ren was the one who helped me through it.
“Why was he so mad?”
“Honestly? I think he’s jealous.”
Carter’s hand slid to the back of my neck, rounded my shoulder and rested there, his thumb stroking my skin and setting off a wave of chills. His touch made me miss the feel of being in a relationship way worse. I was
