She stuck her bottom lip out, pointing to the lights shining on the side of the court.
“It’s probably too dark to go now, right?”
“Why? Scared of the dark?”
“No, but I have to be up early to open tomorrow, and . . .” She looked away.
“And what?”
“Maybe we can go tomorrow?”
Lauren ran her fingers through her hair and flipped it to the other side.
Was she nervous?
“Are you sure you’re okay with coming? I don’t want to make things awkward for you.”
It took a second for her to respond, but she nodded. “Meet me here after work?”
“Affirmative.”
-LAUREN-
Before going to meet Carter at the basketball courts, I rushed to my room to get out of the tight black jeans I’d forced on this morning. The waistband dug into my abdomen all day, leaving a stinging divot in my skin. My pair of loose acid-washed cutoff shorts were the perfect cure, and paired with my white Tommy Hilfiger tank, and a pair of bright red Keds, I felt back to normal. I put my hair in a high ponytail and curled the bottom-half.
I watched Carter shooting hoops by himself, reminding me of last night, and how happy he seemed when he forgot about his past. Hopefully, going to the ropes course would help him take a major step toward the closure he was after. It was hard for me to see his grief, but I was his friend and he needed one right now.
Carter stopped dribbling when he saw me and set the ball on the rack. “You still down to come with me tonight?”
I forced a bright smile. “Totally.”
Our feet hit the path leading into the grove of trees behind the rec center. The sun was falling, but the evening air was still warm from the burn of the day. Nothing like perfect timing with all the campers at their night service.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Good. You?”
“Not too shabby. But really hot.”
“Blazing.” His eyes lit up. “Speaking of heat, Tucker invited me to this lake thing on the south bank on Saturday. We’re going to hang and swim after the campers leave. Think you’d want to come?”
“June invited me too.” I lifted the tips of my hair to my sights, tugging at the random split ends I found.
“You’re going?” he asked.
The pep in his voice sent warmth through my veins. Maybe he liked spending time together as much as I did.
“I couldn’t turn her down this time.”
“This time . . . Do you make a habit of doing that, or something?”
“Hanging out with her crowd isn’t the easiest thing for me . . . especially not now.”
“Oh, because of the—” he half-smiled “—marshmallow?”
We approached a fork in the path and veered right. As the ropes course came into view, Carter’s stride slowed to a crawl.
I shrugged. “June’s so honest, you know? And super Christian.”
“And you’re not?”
“I want to be, and I’ve tried, but . . . I’m a total mess, Carter. I feel like I’d be the biggest hypocrite if I said yes.”
Carter stopped, leaned against a tree, turned his back to the obstacle course.
“I need a break. Before I face . . . can we talk here for a minute?”
I rubbed my palms on my knees, the warm breeze stirring through the tangle of pine limbs hanging overhead, swirling their sharp scent through the space between us.
“Sure.”
“So, why don’t you want to tell your mom about your pregnancy?”
“It’s kind of a long story, Carter.”
“We have time. And you’d be doing me a favor. I can’t deal . . . with that right now.”
I sat on one of the logs bordering the path. “So, first, you have to know what my mom’s like. She’s always been obsessed with us looking perfect.
“She was always fighting with my dad, nonstop, about his military career. She wanted him to be an officer, a four-star general, or something. But he was an Airman forever, then a sergeant—but that wasn’t good enough. When my sister Kellie quit college to get married and have kids, Mom wouldn’t talk to her for years. Said she couldn’t be associated with a daughter who was just a housewife.
“Huh. I’m starting to get why you’re so stressed to tell her about the marshmallow.”
“Right? But that’s not even the worse part. If I get back together with Ren, if everything looks good, she’ll support me, and she won’t care if I’m pregnant. I mean, when she found out I was dating Ren, that he’s the Veronica Hayes’ son, she started calling me every week—and we didn’t talk for a year before that.”
“Why?”
“Because I went to LA instead of college. She paid for my phone, leased me a car, and told me I should go to the Fashion Institute in the fall, that she’ll pay for it. But there’s a chance she’ll pull the plug on everything if she finds out I’m single and pregnant. I’ll go back to being her screw up daughter again.”
“That’s harsh.”
“Yup.” I hunched over, the weight of life pressing down on my shoulders again. “She’s not wrong though. I do screw things up. My parents divorced because of me.”
“Lauren, there’s no way you could’ve ended their marriage.”
“Maybe. When Kellie was living with us though, and we were both straight A students, Mom stayed. She thought we were good enough, then. But, my junior year, Kellie went away to college, and it was just me, Dad, and Mom, and their fighting got so bad I lost sleep over it. I came home with a bunch of C’s that quarter. Mom told me I was a failure and an embarrassment, and that I’d never live up to her standards. So, I just . . . gave up. Quit caring, you know?
“I thought, having this huge attitude and doing whatever I wanted would be better than failing when it was my best, so that’s what I did. I hooked up with as many guys as I could. I did the party thing. I was in detention at least once a week, and proud of it. So, Mom just left
